Like this little shit is ever going to a game

[wolfscub]

Hey, mun! Nice place ya got here, I like the whole... you know. Thing.

But we've gotta talk. See, I saw some of those places you're sending the other guys up here to...

So, when do I get to go to one of them with... you know, all the ladies? [Insert a fifteen year old waggling his eyebrows here]

Come on, they don't know what they're missing out on! A hot, smart lady like you knows I belong there.

Mom and Dad don't have to know.

Comments

[strategic_guile]

Like hell.

[wolfscub]

[sadghjsdkfglhdfj fuck time to pretend like that whole post never happened. Innocent smile go!]

Oh, hey dad... What are you doing here?

[cybil]

I'm gonna pretend I don't know anything about those games, and answer the unspoken question:

You're not going anywhere if you don't clean your room before Friday.

[strategic_guile]

I followed the GPS tracker I had implanted into your sassy little ass.

[nine_bad_ideas]

Woah there, short stuff. Take it down a notch.

[Okay, so he wasn't that different from you once but he was at the distinct advantage of being chiefly raised by three monkeys, an elephant, and a bag of peanuts.]

[wolfscub]

Aww, come on, it's not that bad!

But this means if I clean it, I can go right?

[cybil]

When it starts growing lifeforms of its own, yeah, I'd say it's "that bad".

[She tries to hide the amusement in her face as she shakes her head.]

No. You're not old enough. And you're a pain in the ass.

[A+ parenting.]

[inhistracks]

Wow, looks like you got jumped on. Fight for your freedom!

[wolfscub]

Pft, yeah you would have wouldn't you.

[eyeroll, yeah right dad]

[wolfscub]

Hey, I'm not short you know.

[He just hasn't hit his growth spurt yet.]

[wolfscub]

I'm trying! But it's hard when they're both agreeing.

[All the grumpyness]

Not up to them if I get to go anyway.

[wolfscub]

It's a science experiment?

[Crossing his arms stubbornly]

Yeah, well then I'm just not gonna clean it.

[inhistracks]

Two words: run away.

And get surgery for the GPS.

[strategic_guile]

Damn right. I also know you snuck out the other night, so you better be using protection. Grandkids scare me.

[lol if only you knew]

[cybil]

Sure, you can make that choice.

[Telling him that not cleaning his room was against the law ceased to work several years ago, sadly.]

But I guess that also means you're choosing not to go over to Jake's house on Friday night, right? And you're really choosing not to go to one of those games when you're old enough.

[A pause.]

Sucks to be you.

[wolfscub]

I'll tell you, they make it tempting sometimes.

[But he does actually like his adopted parents. Just not when they're cockblocking him like this.]

[He laughs]

I'm halfway sure he's just fucking with me.

[nine_bad_ideas]

Yeah, yeah, sure. [Clint is 6' 3", everyone is short next to him.]

If you want to get the attention of ladies you've gotta be more subtle than that.

[wolfscub]

[She has Blaine to thank for his knowledge of the lack of that particular law. No one knows the law like a criminal.]

Moooooom, come on! Jake's been wanting me to come over for weeks now!

[huffs]

And she says that it's up to her if I go to a game or not.

[inhistracks]

If you want to be certain, I can provide an ass examination. I have a very gentle touch.

[wolfscub]

[To be fair, his dad was 6'4", so he's probably going to be a lot taller. Eventually.]

[But he perks up a bit at that]

Yeah? Guy like you must get a lot of chicks, huh? Bet you've got some pretty good tips to share...

[cybil]

Well, like I said, see what you can do about the mold growing in the corner, and I'll reconsider.

I don't care if you go to a game. Knock yourself out. Go fight zombies. Your dad and I did.

[wolfscub]

[asdjgksdhgfjkgl]

What? I didn't sneak out...

And you know if I had theoretically snuck out I would have. I'm not an idiot. [Just fifteen.] Not that I snuck out. Because I didn't.

[strategic_guile]

You're stupid if you think I don't know you've been seeing Kelly, Shanice, and Julia.

They're going to kick your ass when they find out, by the way.

[wolfscub]

....

[Hold up here]

I ah, don't know if that'd work too well. I mean, you know surgically implanted and all that shit. Probably couldn't find it that easily.

[strategic_guile]

Oh, zombies. Those were fun times.