I suppose those are desires I'm not very familiar with.

Loving and suffering are all human conditions, as we see things. Individuality is also a unique quality of humans—one that, like love, inspires suffering and grievance, as well as violence unto each other. It's why humans live so violently, and why it was pertinent that they became one with our vision to eliminate their suffering in favor of oneness.

However, living in a human vessel like this, I've come to taste things like love, spite and greed. I've found I have my own feelings. I understand why humans want to protect it, even though it's so terrible.

So maybe I don't know how I feel about it, either way—which I want more. Defying destiny to protect my own individuality, or to become one with everything and to end all suffering. Actually... in the end, what I am outweighs desire to exist as a single person. The instinct is strong.

You said you don't like the idea of fate, so you must have the same pride in your individuality as a person?