dear_mun | (no subject)

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canon: middle earth

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You say I should request an amendment of sorts to the Contract? Thinking about it, it could use a few changes now that we're on our way.

For example: re-provisioning of the pantry as soon as this is over. Sorely needed, I dare say!

[At any rate, thinking about things like that keeps Bilbo's mind off the larger details, like exactly how the company plans to deal with Smaug once they arrive at the Lonely Mountain. He's not always successful distracting himself, but it helps. The hobbit has even managed to get used to dwarf snores and rocks digging into your back when you're trying to sleep.]

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Contract huh? That sounds official. What kind of business are you on that involves a pantry?

[Watch out, Bilbo... she's clearly shopping at the same store as a certain... somebody.]

Oh, hello. What's got your ears all tangled up in knots?

Dwarves can be exceedingly thorough. [Dryly. Bilbo had no idea until a herd of them showed up on his doorstep] The adventuring into caves and dales business, I suppose. Dwarves ate me out of house and home.

Add in more danger than I think is healthy for any hobbit or dwarf or wizard, and...well! There you have it!

Edited 2012-12-29 04:08 (UTC)

[All Bilbo can tell is there's a distinct air of Different and Adventure (and possibly magic-y things) around her. It's enough to get him nervous after that fateful morning with Gandalf]

My ears are not - [Bilbo cuts himself off, flustered, and tries again. He tries to look down his nose sternly at her, which...probably doesn't have the same effect given the height difference] Anyway! Hello. I'm trying to look forward and back at the same time, if you don't mind. It's burglar business.

[Bilbo tries to make it sound very important.]

Edited 2012-12-29 04:14 (UTC)

You could have asked for amendments before signing, Mister Baggins.

I'm afraid the last thing on my mind at the time was the pantry. Now I've had opportunity to give it thought.

A contract is a contract, you will get what you signed for.

[But he does owe Bilbo his life now... and the hobbit is still helping them yet, so he should play nice. A little.]

... but perhaps something could be arranged, once our journey is seen through to the end.

[At this the girl starts and taps a finger to her cheek thoughtfully.] Burglary? [She considers this for a moment.]

Is this what you want to do? Burglary is usually a crime, and of what I have learned Elves aren't too keen on committing something that goes against their conscience.

[She gives him a look, maybe a little stern but mostly of curiosity.] That is, not without a very good reason.

[Now wait a moment! Bilbo would beg to disagree with Thorin because really, he had no idea he was "signing up" to entertain a gaggle of dwarves at the time! And that was before he was suddenly being given Contracts and wondering what his neighbors would think and there was suddenly a point where he stopped worrying about the neighborly gossip.]

I would appreciate that. I worry my share wouldn't cover the pantry. It wasn't built for dwarves, you know!

[The little smile on Bilbo's face is wry, however. ]

Can you even do such a thing after already signing it?

And that would be the very first concern you would address, above all others?

And what other changes would you put onto the Contract?

I'm sure burglary doesn't quite count if you're burglaring a dragon. [Bilbo sniffs disdainfully, trying to make it sound like he's burgled his fair share of dragons and this is just another day as usual]

Elves? [He looks baffled. How they went from burglars to Elves is beyond him]

...a dragon? Y-you?

[Oh dear...]

I do hope you aren't alone...

I'm the resident burglar, yes. [He doesn't think she has to sound quite so surprised, the hobbit frowning at her] I suspect I'll have some friends, but the actual burglaring will be up to me.

Can't say I've met any dwarves before so I'll take your word on it. Better keep that pantry locked next time they're over.

You didn't mention the wizard before! Isn't adventuring supposed to be more of a spontaneous thing? You know, less about legal documents.

[Quiet, future-nephew. Stop waving things like logic at him, it's quite annoying]

Well, it would hopefully be up to negotiation. Surely they would understand that hosting dwarves can be an expensive business, and, furthermore, that said hosts may have forgotten to address that when he rushed out his door.

[The other hobbit's question stumps Bilbo. "Getting back alive" would be at the top, but he knows the dwarves can't be expected to make those sorts of promises]

I'm not sure. Not yet, but I could probably think of some things...

And you've... done this a lot?

[The heaping of uncertainty and doubt is so thick it no doubt does little to a burgeoning male ego...]

The next time? [Bilbo looks aghast and goes several shades paler. The idea of hosting more dwarves almost makes Smaug the Terrible look easy] Oh dear!

Ah, well, I suppose so. The real thing doesn't appear to go the same way as they did in all the stories. [Bilbo cranes his head to look up at the fellow] Have you any experience with wizards? Or adventures?

[He goes slightly red in the face, stammering] I do believe I can manage! If you're the expert on general burglary, then please, by all means.

[Thorin actually gives a soft snort at that, a hand resting on the his belt, fingers tapping against it.]

If we are able to reclaim Erebor you will be compensated for that and much more. That I can assure you, hobbit. [Just don't let those gossiping neighbors of yours know you have all that treasure when and if you get it home. They'll be the ruin of you.]

It would be the least I could offer for your troubles. [After all, they were planning on sending him into the mountain to sneak in where a giant dragon was. A bit of gold and some jewels for his trouble, if he didn't end up dragon chowder would be fair enough. Barely enough treasure to be missed in the larger scheme of things.]

...well, not burglary, but...

It just seems like that would be a job more suited for a fairy or an imp! Not that I don't doubt that you'd be very useful in your own way, but...

[What she's trying to say that in a quest versus a powerful dragon she'd most definitely have you as far away from the front lines as she could.]

[Clearly Thorin has more foresight on that front than he does - Bilbo didn't even seriously consider what the neighbors would think if he showed up with a share of the dragon hoard. Maybe Thorin could glower at the neighbors for him. His bushy eyebrows could certainly do the trick: they're the perfect size for the perfect glower]

Thank you. That said, if you plan to embark on future adventures after this - [ Bilbo emphasizes the "after this", as if by saying that he could ensure that everyone survives] - then I do hope you give the next burglar proper warning! Sending a wizard at him doesn't count.

[But it might be enough to kick him out the door, all the same. Not that Bilbo would admit that to Thorin. ]

[That "but" is very telling. He's heard plenty of "buts" traveling with the dwarves, thank you very much] Well, I suppose they didn't have any luck finding faeries or imps to burgle for them, so they came to me.

And what is your profession, if you're not a burglar? [Bilbo peers at her.]

[Jack has to laugh at Bilbo's reaction.]

Weren't planning for another visit I take it.

[He hooks an arm over to curve in his staff to lean on it casually.]

Not exactly. Something like that if North's magic counts. You could say I've been on an adventure though. Yours sounds more like the stories with the dwarves and wizards part. This all new to you?

Oh... me? [She smiles. Believe it or not, she doesn't get very many opportunities to talk about herself and she delights in the opportunity. She's so pleased in fact that she can't help but repositions her hat.]

I'm a student! Of the Tower of Silver Star... er... that's a Mage's School.

[It's a very nice hat. He means that politely. If anything, it looks better maintained than Gandalf's]

Ah, so you're a wizard then! More or less.

[She doesn't look like how he expected a mage to look. And he's never heard of the Tower of the Silver Star - then again, there are plenty of other things Bilbo hasn't heard of short of them being fables and stories only]

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