dear_mun | accidentally a depress post

[Holy crap, it's X. Master X - you know, only the deceased legendary leader of Neo Arcadia who's incredibly important to practically every human who has ever lived under his rule? Neige knows quite a bit about X (or at least, she thinks she does), though she has never met him in person; needless to say, though, she holds a lot of respect for the guy. And here he is. Alive, in the fles--er, metal, and standing right in front of her. ~~Thank goodness she still has her camera on her person.~~

...But why does he seem so sad?

Neige is keeping a bit of a distance from X out of respect, but she doesn't want to stay silent about her concern.]

Haven't you been fighting for your country...?

[Oh it's a girl. He's used to humans but he really hasn't dealt with many every since he took on the mantle as a Maverick Hunter. There's a lingering doubt due to his own existential crises but he manages straighten himself.]

My country...?

[The world was riffed with Mavericks. He constantly questioned why? Just how long will the fights have to continue? Just when he thought true peace was about to be archived...

A fake. Just a lie.

He didn't want them to be meaningless. He didn't want the lives he had to personally take down to be for nothing. For their deaths to not be utterly pointless.]

...I wasn't. I just wanted to protect. To put an end to all this meaningless violence.

... oh X.

[-!]

Iris!

[He has to take a few quick seconds to gather himself. Right. This sort of place, it shouldn't be surprising seeing someone like Iris again. Still he can just brush away the painful memory attached to her and Repliforce.

He visibly hesitates before speaking.]

Iris... how are you doing?

[Oh, how many times has he asked himself this very question? Even Zero had questioned it at one point, when the blonde Hunter thought he had truly lost everything in his anguish when Iris died.

Sometimes ... just sometimes ... he still asks it. Especially when everything seemed to move toward true peace and harmony, something tore it down and the cycle would begin again. It just gets so tiring after a while.

And then, he learned that no matter how much he dislikes it, inaction is even worse. That's why Zero never quit, that's why it never crossed Axl's mind, and why he decided to never give up.]

You fight for what you believe in, for what you ... we hope to bring about in the future. War is, and always will be, meaningless, but it still happens. But you know as well as I do that there's no way we can just stand by and do nothing at all. Everyone deserves a chance to enjoy true peace and happiness, no matter how long it may take.

[Normally, X would agree to that. After all he's gotten to a point where he's hopeful for making his dream of Elysium come true. Yet to have the fact the the world he lived in, the lives he was forced to take away had been fictional...

It was a hard to wrap his mind around. He didn't want to believe it but... had it really been so futile?]

How can you be so sure? What if...

[X stopped. Fictional or not the very idea of vocalizing all their battles being meaningless, let alone calling the lives they took away meaningless made his stomach tighten.]

...I just don't know how I'd handle being told that the world I've been fighting for has been a creation of someone else's mind. How would that make anyone else feel? To learn their lives have just been a fabrication? I...

[Whoa man, stop putting all that depression on top of your depression sandwich.]

I'm sorry. It's either myself, or my--our older self who might have to deal with this.

[X pauses for a while, carefully considering the questions. He knew he'd probably react very much the same way. He smiles gently.]

It's all right. That kind of knowledge is jarring... However, I actually don't think of their lives, our lives, that way. We were still all created, right? Therefore, in some form, we exist.

My mun believes that things don't exist if they don't matter in some kind of way. The point of existing is to be. I think I've come to agree with her on that one.

[There's a pause as he stared long at X. That thought hadn't crossed his mind admittedly. His mind just veered over and focused on the negative aspect, he couldn't see past it.

There isn't a smile--but X's eyes sharpened, reflecting his usual determination.]

...you're both right. These thoughts...these feelings of mine. They can't be pointless, can they? I still feel them regardless of how or why I came to be.

...but it still doesn't sit well with me just thinking about how everything that's happened, someone has been watching with amusement all this time.

[--cue spotlight to this X's mun, behind the screen. What? No let's not break the fourth wall, gosh.]

[Oh, we're breaking the 4th wall now? Okay, cool, since this X is so used to it he'll politely wave to the other X's mun. Hi! :3]

[He turns back to his other self with a wider smile.] Of course they're not pointless. People watch what we do with some amusement, yes, but others also empathize. They laugh with us, they cry with us, they hope with us. Thinking about it that way, it's not so bad.

[Look what you've done X! Now X is paying attention to the person behind the screen. Sssh, don't wave she doesn't exist /jedi handwave motion-

Not working? Okay I tried.]

I understand not everyone is like that. Yet it all makes sense now...

[Mega Man X and the many exploding into fireworks comes to mind. He does finally give a small chuckle.]

I haven't thanked you and your mun just yet. So thank you for this. I really needed the talk.

[X's smile turns into a small grin.]

You're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help. We both are. [This X's mun waves from her spot behind the screen. You're welcome, sweety!]

[He'll give a small wave back.]

It feels like I've gotten a load off my chest. I'll be sure to remember this whenever I'm in any doubt. ...I can still make Elysium come true. No matter what.

[To protect...to end violence... Neige can understand those sentiments well. Why else would she and those other humans band together to try to live a peaceful existence far away from Weil's tyranny?

Her own experiences aside, however...why would X be sad about that?]

But you succeeded, didn't you? For almost a century we lived in peace...

[Yes, Neo Arcadia certainly had been a utopia until...well. Certain incidents involving certain people happened. Or wait - is that what he's sad about? But he doesn't need to be...Zero had, after all, righted those wrongs. Maybe he doesn't know that.]

A century....?

[He couldn't help but looked surprised at that. Wait...was she from his future? Although he couldn't help but catch that "almost". So not matter how hard he tried peace was just-

No. He didn't want to believe that. Fake or not fake the people he's met, those he wanted to protect, they still meant something to him. That wasn't enough to dispel that knotted feeling inside his stomach.

Giving a soft sigh, X shook his head before offering Neige a small smile.]

I'm sorry, I don't even know your name. I'm X. Who are you?

That's right. [Maybe Neige hadn't been alive for most of that century, but history books don't (usually) lie, do they? Besides, she experienced for herself what that peace was like when she was a little girl, growing up in that utopia...

But yes, introductions. She returns the smile, though she's still trying to be respectful, of course. Master X and all.]

Call me Neige. I...used to be a citizen of Neo Arcadia.

[If he at least knew about Weil, then the 'used to' might be self-explanatory, but if he didn't...well, that was understandable too.]

It's nice to meet you, Neige.

[He doesn't seem to be bothered by the distance but does take a step closer to her. There's a curious look as she brought up a term he wasn't familiar with.]

What do you mean, Neige? I haven't heard about Neo Arcadia before. Would you mind explaining what that is?

[...Well, that was a very unexpected question. The surprised look on Neige's face conveys that clearly enough. How can X not know about his own country? The one he started with his own hands, even? That just doesn't seem...right. And Neige is not the type to let things like that slip by unquestioned.]

Your government? [A pause; she's trying to figure out how to word this without sounding too incredulous.] Do you...not remember it?

[Now it was X's turn to look surprised. Did he hear her correctly? His government? Being in command over a Maverick Hunter Unit is one thing but an entire government?]

There's nothing to remember. Or to be precise... I'm still part of the Maverick Hunters. So I guess, Neo Arcadia hasn't happened for me yet. If I'm interpreting this correctly, I mean.

[But...his own government. Neo Arcadia... did this mean his dream came true in the long run?]

[...Wha-? Is he being serious? He looks just as surprised as Neige, but...still, what? Time travel isn't possible, so why does he say that? How is that possible?]

What are you talking about? You were...

[Oops. Hold your tongue, Neige; it may not be a great idea to remind him of his death just yet. Let's bring up another, equally important fact instead.]

...You were its leader. You created it. I and many others grew up under your rule. That's proof enough that it happened, isn't it?

[Neige, look at how bright eyed and naive he is- okay no. X takes a moment to absorb all the information Neige gave him. Alright, time to take a step back here for a moment.]

I'm not here to refute any of that, Neige. ...except, it hasn't happened for me. Not yet, and probably not any time soon.

[...did he sound crazy to her? He probably did, X realizes.]

I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense does it? It's just that, where I currently stand now--there's still a lot of work to be done before I can realize my true dream. Still...

[His expression softens into a smile.]

Thank you, Neige. I didn't mean to cause any worries here.

No, it's.....really....

......

[No, this is obviously still not making any sense to Neige at all. Her meeting someone from the past can't be possible - it just can't be - and so her mind is instead reaching for other conclusions, questioning X's memory circuits, even considering outright labeling him a liar.

...Okay, so the last one's a bit extreme, but it's a possibility, right? Just how else could she explain how X, the assassinated former leader of Neo Arcadia, is standing before her right now?

Yet, X's ~~bright eyed~~ sincerity is somehow keeping her from making any vocal accusations. He doesn't seem to be lying...or if he is, then he's a pretty damn good liar. Unsure of what to say or even think now, Neige quietly stares at X with a mixture of confusion, worry, and uncertainty on her face.]

accidentally a depress post

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Have a sympathetic X for your depressed X, bby~

OH BOY! Sympathetic X is the best X :' ) ...and sorry for my horrible tl;dring, oops

YAY! the tl;dring looks fine to me |3

Gosh X, you sweetie ;- ;

inorite? <3

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