On apping syndemic when it opens...

[bigbad]

Brilliant. Zombies. Cause those never get tiresome. Can they even kill me? No one wants another case of zompires on our hands.

You know what else never gets tiresome? Me finding out I'm fictional. Me watching that bloody TV show you always go on about. You may not have noticed, but my life's not fun to watch. There are some things I've done I'd rather not relive, if it's all the same to you. Especially knowing it's supposed to be entertainment.

Not sure why I'm even bothering arguing, though. I know you. You'll go through the whole song and dance anyway, not giving one whit what my feelings are. Bloody inconsiderate, is what it is. I don't know why I put up with it.

Comments

[likeashadow]

[if the creepy complexion and tail don't give it away, she's got a faint whiff of the demonic about her, but just a whiff]

Zombies? At least those deaders are slow. Yeh can give'em the laugh easy enough and let some other poor berk have ta deal with'em.

Zompires? Do I even want tae know?

[bigbad]

Vampire zombies. It's what happens when you try and make a vampire in a world without magic.

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

Because ... you're trapped in her head and it's not like you can go anywhere else?

[bigbad]

...well, yeah, there's that. Bloody unfair, though.

[likeashadow]

How can yeh make zombies without magic? Ain't no expert on spellslingin', but I thought necromancy was sort of important in there.

[bigbad]

They're not really zombies. They just act like them.

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

Life isn't always fair, Spike. Or ... in your case, un-life.

[bigbad]

Yeah, I've noticed. [If things were really fair, he'd probably be dead.] Could be worse, I suppose.

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

True. You could have got sent to a hell dimension both for fun and because she had better things to do.

[bigbad]

...did that happen to you? Because that's far less fair than mine. You're... you.

[bigbad]

I know, you prat. I'd still rather not find out what happens when one of those wankers bites me, though. Tell you what. You come along and play guinea pig!

[bigbad]

I need babysitting? Least I don't go around losing my soul at the drop of somebody's pants.

[bigbad]

Then there were all those other times you've gone bad without going evil. And made some very questionable fashion choices along the way.

And being bitten by a zompire wouldn't do anything, you stupid git. It's zombies I'm worried about. I wouldn't think it does anything, but you never know in these games.

[bigbad]

Yeah, I'm real worried about being bad.

These might not be the same sorts of zombies as back home. You don't know.

This syndemic place. On top of the other two places she's shoved me in.

[bigbad]

So why'd you ask?

[bigbad]

It doesn't work like that.

[bigbad]

Maybe you should have asked that.

[bigbad]

If she is, she won't want to see you.

[bigbad]

You have seen her, right? She can take care of herself. [Which is to say of course Spike'll be there for her, but he's not doing it for Angel's sake.]

[bigbad]

I'm not going to be her new Watcher.



...but I've always got her back. Don't need you to tell me that. [It's a really nice back.]

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

Just because I'm me doesn't mean I'm exempt from all the bad in the world, Spike.

[bigbad]

I just mean you shouldn't be in hell. That's for things like me.

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

It was more of an accident than anything else. And I got out. Eventually.

[bigbad]

Suppose that makes sense. I'm glad you're out, at least. I've been in a few hell dimensions myself, you know. And... space.

[slay]

They say fictional, I say my life sure felt real enough when it was happening. And ending, come to think of it. [ but to deflect from buffy's capital-I issues ... ] And -- Shut up, a vampire turned into a zombie isn't a zompire, you're not going to die.

[bigbad]

You don't know that. It's a different world, Buffy. Things might work differently.

I don't reckon it would have been very good fiction if it hadn't felt real.

[slay]

I don't have to know. I just have to know you're not gonna become the vampire science experiment of the century and find out.

[bigbad]

No worries there. [His expression softens.] I've no intention of getting bitten. I promise. Just tell me you'll be careful too.

[slay]

There's always the chance that if I do get bitten that it'll turn out I'm really a robot. [ avoidance fuck yeah. ]

What's with all this cliché bad zombie movie stuff, anyway? It's like, they say we're the fictional ones, but hell-o. Zombies. Not actually big with the flesh-eating and disease-carrying unless instructed by their zombie master. It's like nobody even paid attention in [ she stops. well, they don't teach it in school, and she was going to say watcher training, but giles ... ] In anything. In life. In -- Okay, on second thought, bugs flying a spaceship might have been a clue towards the fictional and not feeling real. On our part.

Is this feeling Matrix-y to you, too?

[bigbad]

And that time Sunnydale turned into Broadway, and that time Angel turned into a puppet, and all those times vampires and demons existed...

I'd better not wake up bald.

[slay]

Turned - ? [ she can't bring herself to get out more words than that, because it's the first time anyone's mentioned him to her since the funeral, and it makes her realize the wound still feels just as raw as it had then. she quickly soldiers on. ] You bald? How about me? You'd be fine in, like, a month. My hair would never recover. Ever. Ever ever.

[bigbad]

[...dammit, he should have known better. He just can't resist mocking Angel about that puppet incident. He winces.] You're hair's always perfect, love.

I shouldn't have said that.

[slay]

I think complimenting my hair falls under 'excusable,' actually. [ she knows what he means, she just doesn't want to talk about it. ]

[bigbad]

Right. We'll keep ignoring it, then. [He can't help but feel a little frustrated. All he wants is to talk about it.] I don't think anything'll happen to our hair.

[slay]

How does that work, anyway? Or, is it like Total Recall? I mean, are we gonna be real all 'a sudden when we get there, or are we still not real but there, or still not real and put into something else that's not real, or -- My head hurts.

[ she can key into his frustration, but she can't humor it. she can't flex on this. more than anything, she needs to not talk about it. it's avoiding rather than dealing, but all things considered - she's strangely okay with that. ]

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

Yes! She actually has our adventure in space sitting at home for her to read. It came in the mail yesterday.

Eventually I will exist in the same timeline as the rest of the world again.

[bigbad]

I've no bloody clue. I feel real, though. Don't you?

[bigbad]

Say what you will about me, when I take a girl somewhere that's truly out of this world, I mean it.

Suppose there are worse times to be from.

[kiss_evilgoodbye]

That you do. It was pretty impressive.

[slay]

[ lately? that's something to wonder. things have been so bad, so insane, that it's easy to wonder. ]

... Yeah. Yeah, of course.

[bigbad]

...you don't sound so convinced, love.

[slay]

I am. [ moving on quickly to keep him from pushing. ] Better hope the bugs sit this one out. I mean, we already know they can go zomp-bug, can't be that far a throw to zombug.

[bigbad]

Zombug'd probably be less scary. Still, I'd rather keep them out of this.