(no subject)

[whatsthestory]

So if you're not going to eat the rest of those chips...well, I'd gladly help you get rid of them. Being the loving, helpful sort of dog I am!

And you need to stop being so hard on yourself! So things didn't work out, that's okay! You're still great!

Hey! I know what will make you feel better! Let's read a book! That always cheers you up, right?

Comments

[virtueless]

[what in god's name -]

...But you're a dog. You can't read.

[whatsthestory]

Some people say dogs can't talk, but look at me! So why can't I read?!

[virtueless]

[that's...actually a good point. +1 for the dog, -1 for Ichabod.]

It's just...bizarre. Animals don't have a tendency to talk outside of - of fairy tales and children's books.

[whatsthestory]

Am I your first talking animal? [ that is exciting! ]

You're right. Us animals might talk more if humans knew how to listen.