mayfield_rpg; someone app Uther Pendragon right. now.

[watchher]

With everything going on at the moment, not least of all the ridiculous situation with my 'wife'... this is what you choose to focus on?

I fail to understand what has you so excited about this, this Nathan Wallace fellow.

... it can't possibly be that amusing.

Comments

[slayage]

All of your facetwins give me the serious wiggins, Giles. That's supposed to be your face only. Is there someone we can like, complain to? Send a strongly-worded letter? Or strongly-worded fists?

[slayage]

Wait, wife?! You have a wife?

[watchher]

I could not agree more strongly.

And-- well, yes, technically, but it's a bit... complicated. The town assigns housing and, and family roles that we've little power to go against. I did not marry her.

[slayage]

[Slight relief. Until she realizes that sounds even weirder.] That sounds really sketchy, Giles. Why would that even have to be a thing. Didn't whoever or whatever lords over that place ever hear of the straightforward less-confusing title of roommates?

We just get assigned dead villain-y types as inmates here. [Shrug, as if that's perfectly normal.]

[watchher]

... you what?

And no, apparently, they have not. Nor do they bother to differentiate between those who would make relatively sane spouses, and those who fall under the category of, ah, 'villain types'. The woman I have the misfortune of sharing a living space with is certainly one of the latter.

[ The Empress of Alternia is not exactly what Giles would define as his type.

It's kind of like being married to Glory, but more quietly smug, and also like seven feet tall, and an alien. She's about that level of dangerous and batshit, though. ]

[slayage]

It's a trans-dimensional space-boat. [LOOK AT THAT GILES SHE'S LEARNED BIGISH WORDS AREN'T YOU PROUD.] Giant prison type thing that focuses more on redemption rather than orange jumpsuits. There are inmates, and there are wardens. I'm of the warden type.

[..Sorry Giles, her surprised-ness is turning into amusement now.] Oh. I see. So, non-marriage isn't really all you thought it would be. Can't you just.. non-divorce her? Or kick her out? Get yourself another non-wife?

[watchher]

Oh. That's, um-- quite fascinating, actually.

And I certainly would if I was able. The town seems to contain a number of adult women who are not the least bit violent or deranged, I simply had the bad luck to end up with this individual.

[ He has started to seriously consider chaining her up in the bathtub. Sadly, it seems this is somewhat less acceptable when done to your wife and not a random vampire. ]

[slayage]

It's a riot. Sometimes literally.

[...] So you can't move out or.. wife-swap? [Smirk smirk okay stopping, trying to stop. More serious time:] What's stopping you?

[watchher]

If you sleep away from home for more than three nights, you can be punished for it, and I would rather like to avoid that. If there is a way to, ah, remarry successfully, I've yet to hear about it.

[slayage]

[Okay now she's really getting concerned. Before it was just kinda strange and funny. Now..]

Punished..? Punished how? [Super serious protective Buffy mode.]

[watchher]

'Brainwashing' would be accurate, I suppose, but the term generally used is 'droning', to be made into a drone. Drones are... quite robotic in speech and behavior, seemingly incapable of acknowledging that we have not lived in Mayfield all our lives. They exist to play along with the charade.

The effects are temporary, and it's not known to be painful, only disorienting. Still, it's not something I am eager to experience for myself.

(I love your Giles. :3)

[slayage]

N-No, no I wouldn't want to go through that either. [...]

I don't like the sound of that at all, Giles. Who's the guy issuing the orders and.. "droning" people there? There's gotta be something you can do.

[Mumbles:] And I thought the Admiral was bad..

(Ahh thank you! ;u;)

[watchher]

In all honesty, I've no idea. There are a number of rumors about the true nature of Mayfield and its ruler, and scraps of information have been gathered over the years, but there is nothing particularly cohesive or, or reliable.

[ He pulls off the glasses to rub wearily at his eyes. ]

Potential droning is the least of my problems, I'm afraid. There's quite a lot going on at the moment, and I'm to expect more in the very near future.

[ The current event is what one might refer to as a 'total clusterfuck', and not one that will end well for Giles. ]