dear_mun | On being brought back from the dead.

[ Have a hard stare from Dean. While there are countless things he wants to say to you, in typical Dean fashion what falls out of his mouth is ...

Well— ]

Cas, you dick.

[Is he wincing? Cas doesn't wince, Cas is an emotionless, stone-faced dick, that wincing is clearly Dean's imagination. It's only slight, anyway.

His eyes go to the floor.]

Hello, Dean.

[ Winching or not, Dean's a little too pissed to notice. All those months spent holding it all in ... The betrayal, the anger, the pain. It's full on rant mode now. ]

Hello? You gotta be kidding me, right? After all the crap you've pulled, that's all got to say for yourself? You're gonna have to do a lot better than that.

Dean- I am sorry. [His eyes are back up again, and this time, they're sincere. He knows- he can feel it, eating away at this body. The guilt. The pain, the suffering- it's his fault, and he knows it. It's a lot easier to be in touch with emotions when you're a human, and don't have the shroud and pointed determination to be self-righteous and ignorant an angel has.] I was wrong. I thought people needed-

[He puffed out a breath and stopped.] If it were in my power to undo it...

Yeah, sorry. Truth is, I've heard it so many times before it's become almost meaningless.

[ Dean's gaze doesn't falter. He can practically see the emotions within the others' eyes. It was new and perhaps, a little unnerving. He wasn't used to seeing Castiel this way. But then again, even this was better than the alternative ... ]

Don't. [ Spoken quietly, he glances away at last. ] Just ... don't.

Dean. [It was ground out commandingly, his best I am an angel of the lord voice. Audacious of him, considering he's about two seconds from being punched in the face. It's more quiet desperation than anything, though.

He has to make him understand.] I would do anything to fix it. Anything you ask of me, I will do. [Quietly, intensely, as though it takes a great deal of effort to add-] Please.

Cas, shut up.

[ Not quite forgiven and certainly never forgotten but this is Dean's way of attempting to bridge the gap between them. After all, Cas was family. He'd said it time and time again. He wasn't going to simply abandon this idiot for going darkside. If that had been his style then Dean would have left Sam at some random gas station long ago. ]

Easier said than done but it's a start. [ In spite of himself, there's a small smile playing about his lips. ] Don't go getting your feathers in a ruffle. Especially now that you're ... human.

[He blinks, eyes wide and surprised, and suddenly he's not really sure what to do with his hands. That... was not how that was supposed to go. He'd been in the middle of a heartfelt apology. Typically humans were supposed to react with sincerity- Why is Dean being blatantly ob-

...Oh. Oh.]

I do not have any feathers.

[His wings had been made of ethereal energy. Also, he no longer has wings.]

Human emotions are... [Frustrated, constipated face.] dicks.

[ If the situation had been different, Dean would have laughed at the almost bewildered expression on Castiel's face. Some things were pretty priceless. He reached out, placing his hand on the others' shoulder. And sure enough, he was really there, warm and solid beneath Dean's fingers. Alive and undeniably human. Giving his shoulder a faint squeeze, Dean finds himself chuckling at those next words. ]

Yeah. Well, get used to it, pal.

[ He regards the ex-angel carefully before finally asking; ] So what happened? How did you ... get back?

[He glances down at the hand on his shoulder, lips pulling up a little, eyes soft and slightly surprised, as though he appreciates the touch, but isn't quite sure how to respond to it. Laughing, right? That was a good sign. Pal. Just like that night outside the brothel.

He's not sure how that was funny, but if it gets Dean to be less angry with him, he supposes it's a good thing.]

I... [He looks up, serious.] Spoke with my Father, Dean. He is... less absent than he was presumed to be.

[ Removing his hand, Dean stretches lazily, rather oblivious to what the touch had meant to Castiel. He frowned slightly at the answer. Of all the things, that was something he hadn't been expecting. ]

Then where the hell was he when we needed him? What was he doing when the world was in the crapper?

[It's alright. He's over it. Always business time, very little time for happy reunions. If this could be called happy. He didn't get beat up, and Dean was accepting him, he'd count it as a win.]

It wasn't an... extensive conversation. It was not my place to question his whereabouts. It was enough that I rebelled- but to attempt to take His place? It is only by his mercy I wasn't cast into the pit with Lucifer, bound to Hell eternally. I admit it was a... bizarre meeting, I'm not entirely sure I yet understand His will.

[The corners of his lips twitched upward.]

Though, from what I gather, Raphael's punishment was... less lenient.

Yeah, yeah. I get it. He has his reasons.

[ Although not quite accepting, he was ready to make peace with it for the time being. The big guy had at least done one thing he was pleased about. He had returned Castiel to him. So he wasn't going to complain. And the second thing ...

There's a definite smirk now from Dean. He's enjoying Castiel's reaction almost as much as the news itself regarding Raphael. ]

Good. The guy was a total ass.

...Well, yes, if you want to incredibly oversimplify it.

[He almost seemed indignant about that, and preened a bit, straightening his jacket like a bird with ruffled feathers. Now that God was back, he was back on board the Dad train. He did get sent back, after all, with a nudge-nudge-wink-wink punishment. And some of the wisdom that leaked through that meeting had been... enlightening.

Those lips twitched higher, and without a doubt, he was smirking.]

Literally. I'm told he's being forced through a reincarnation cycle- working his way from ant to angel by passing tests in the various lifespans. It's meant to teach humility. One of those stops is, in fact, an ass.

[The donkey kind.]

[ Well, that's gone and done it now. Dean finds himself laughing out loud at the news. Any lingering tension melting away. And it almost seems like the old days, the frivolous exchanges between them. Or rather, the frivolous words from Dean and the lack of a sense of humour from Castiel. ]

You see? It's not all ... Human emotions are dicks. There's sweet, sweet satisfaction and it doesn't get any better than that. Now, tell me, is that poetic justice or what?

[Dean's reaction is good. This time, he gets the joke. This time, he made the joke, and Dean is laughing. This is... very good. Something about stupid human emotions pull at his face in a way they never used to do. He was never as physically connected to Jimmy's vessel as he is this body, so he can't keep that smile off. It's annoying, but he doesn't mind so much at the moment.]

That is a more pleasant feeling than I would have anticipated. It is certainly... poetic. I believe they call it... irony.

[He shifts, sticks his hands in his pockets.] I was to be made an example of, of course. I lack the... aversion to humanity that many of my brothers frequently possess. To them, I was cast out to be a... mud monkey, and none would dare recreate what I've done out of fear of receiving a similar demotion. I believe he was... rewarding me, though. Where Raphael wanted to destroy humanity, I wanted to preserve it. He commanded that we love you above all others, and I did.

[A beat.] I have no right to ask this of you, but I must ask for your assistance.

[ The words it's good to see you smile are on the tip of his tongue but he refrains from speaking them. It would only make the newly human Castiel uncomfortable. Dean couldn't begin to fathom how difficult the transition from angel to human must have been. He took a moment to contemplate Castiel's words. And even while he was playing the delusional, self proclaimed 'god' he had babbled about protecting the people ... ]

So what made you a dick was actually your saving grace?

[ And here we go again. Dean gives him an incredulous look, before sighing heavily. ] What now?

I was a... large dick. There was a lot of grace to be saved.

[He nods. Well, it's true. He might not know how to properly phrase it, but angels were never meant to have emotions. Not really. No free will, they have no experience with them. As such, Cas is a bit of an anomaly.]

It is beyond my capacity to be human.

[Permanently.]

I would like for you to teach me. Also, I don't have any money, and I'm hungry. Or anywhere to go.

[A beat.]

And these shoes hurt my feet.

[ Dean hides a snicker with a cough. It was rather amusing and a little strange to hear Castiel talk like that but it was something he'd have to get used to. ]

You're tellin' me.

[ Dean was willing to help, of course, however a small part of him had waited with bated breath for Castiel's reply. He felt himself visibly relaxing when that reply didn't include ... Apocalypse ... Angels ... Demons ... Oh, the usual. Castiel's human concerns were actually quite ... endearing and far more capable of being done. ]

Sure, whatever you want. [ He casts a quick glance down to Castiel's footwear. ] Really?

[Apparently Cas buys the cough, because he doesn't look even remotely offended.

He waits with his own bated breath, fully expecting to be rejected. He's not going to be much use on a hunt- he's human, and has had none of the training, no time to develop the skills Dean has. He can't just appear behind a demon and smite the crap out of it anymore.

His expression after Dean acquiescent is one of relief, and he nods his head, evidently misunderstanding Dean's incredulous really?]

Really. They are most uncomfortable, but they were charity, and the nurse that gave them to me was... very large.

I see. [ There's a pause. Dean's looking anywhere but at Castiel right now. Awkward. But he knows that if he doesn't do this now then he never will. ]

Hey, if you want ... I've got something of yours. You seemed pretty attached to it before so I held on to it after you ... uh, left.

[ Because in all honesty, that was the only part of you that was left and he'd be damned if he ever let it go. Silently, Dean moved towards his Impala parked a few feet away. Opening up the trunk, he rummages inside for a few moments before taking something out. Closing the trunk, he turns around, casually throwing something at the other. Something soft and beige and no doubt, familiar. ]

Welcome back, Cas.

[He cocked his head to one side, eyes furrowed and puzzled- as far as he was aware, there wasn't anything left of him to leave behind. He had no personal ties, no property of any sort.

He caught the lump of fabric with surprised but quick hands, and let it unfurl. The coat he wore. The coat he always wore, given to him by his vessel Jimmy. He had not realized he was fond of the coat until now- maybe he hadn't been, but that Dean had saved it for him made him fond of it.

He didn't usually understand human motive, but this one seemed fairly simple enough. People kept the possessions of people they cared about after they passed away, to honor their memory.

Cas feels particularly honored.

He doesn't move to put it on yet, just sort of... stares at it for an awkwardly long moment, then looks up at Dean with those puppy eyes he gets.]

If I move to hug you, are you likely to engage in physical altercation?

[ As soon as the coat touched Castiel's hands, Dean made a point of carefully observing the other. It was all pretty evident, the string of emotions reflected in those eyes. Castiel got it. He understood why Dean had held onto something as insignificant as an article of clothing. The old Castiel would never have been able to understand the reasons behind it. Maybe now, Dean wouldn't have to actually say the words. Lord knew, he sucked at the whole 'chick flick' thing.

But then— ]

... I suppose you can try your luck.

[There was a brief window of time where he might have understood the sentiment- a time when he was dipping dangerously close into humanity, a time that corrupted him and was never purged when he was restored as an angel. Angels were never meant to harbor the things he felt. They were creatures of power and decision, and when you were biased, it led to radicalism- clearly. Hindsight is twenty/twenty.

He also knows Dean, and that's as close to permission as he's going to get. One corner of his lips quirk, but then settle back down, and he moves forward, hands awkwardly on either side, and then he wraps them around Dean's shoulders, hesitantly, like he's not exactly sure what he's supposed to do.

It was the thought that counted, he'd heard. He rather hoped so, because by human standards, it isn't a particularly good hug. He's bony and unsure of his angles.]

[ Dean simply stands there, his arms hanging by his sides listlessly, letting Castiel hug him. It was quite pitiful, really. Even Jo could have given him a harder squeeze than that. He vaguely found himself wondering where all that Heaven's wrath had gone. Without his mojo, Castiel seemed almost vulnerable pressed against him. It left Dean with a peculiar feeling and it was something he didn't really like.

Rolling his eyes, Dean finally wrapped his arms around Castiel, hugging him hard. The way he had hugged Sam and Bobby all those times. Like the family he was and would always be, kick-ass angelic powers or not. He was mildly shocked at just how delicate Castiel felt beneath those thin layers of clothes and he immediately regretted squeezing the man so damn hard. It wasn't like hugging Sam after all ... Dropping his arms and letting Castiel go, he grinned. ]

We gotta get some burgers into you.

[For a second, he was concerned he was doing it wrong. Impossible, he observed many hugs- by Sam and Dean, and also by people on television. Occasionally, by hugging couples. He was almost certain this is how it went. One person wraps their arms around the other to initiate the hug, and the other responds in turn. They hold anywhere from two to five seconds- longer, if the couple is romantic-, and then separate. Perhaps Dean was unused to hugging.

And then the hug was returned, except tightly. Oh. That's what he'd been doing wrong. His arms tightened in response, and he felt... strange. A feeling in his chest he couldn't identify. It made him... happy and sad at the same time, and something else. Oh- the feeling- all these weird human things, how do they live with it?

Castiel understood, now, why people hugged.

And then Dean was pulling away, and the look of consternation on his face as the feeling disappeared only lasted a second, completely derailed by the mention of food. He nearly salivated.]

That would make me... very happy. The food they served in the medical facility was... less than appealing, and I had no money to buy any afterward.

Yeah, I'll bet.

[ It wasn't as though Dean himself was a stranger to hospitals or the cardboard-like, tasteless mush that constituted as food in those places. There was a small part of him that wondered just how long Castiel had been in the hospital for and what would have happened had he not have run into him now. Would the ex-angel have tracked him down? Did he even know how to use a computer? Yeah, probably not.

Now, he needed to set the newly human, Castiel up. Food, money, clothes and then ... a safe place to stay. But he'd get to that one later. Thinking back, he remembered having past a place a mile or so away, a diner. That would be a start.

Motioning for Castiel to follow him, Dean walks back to his car. ]

Let me take you someplace where you can get something to eat. And ... [ He takes in the man's slightly rumpled appearance and sighs, before nodding at the coat in Castiel's hands. ] You might wanna put that on. You look like you just fell from the damn sky.

[ Opening the car door, Dean gets in and immediately starts the engine. ]

[He looks, just... entirely too happy about this, especially considering he doesn't really have an expression on his face. Mostly it's just a wide, pleased tone to his eyes and a tiny tug at his lips, barely there, but enough to make it evident that he's happy. He gave the jacket a shake, then slid it on over his shoulders. It added depth, thickness, making him look a little less slender, a little more grounded and a little more strong.

Still too human to look entirely like his old self, though.

He followed Dean to the car, his step a little more comfortable than it had been as an angel, and tugged the door open. Strange, doing that rather than magicking himself into the passenger's seat, but, hey, what can you do?]

I did just fall from the damn sky. [He feels it's reasonable to point out, and he tugs the door shut behind him. He glances around.] Being confined to a car is... much more pleasant when you're smaller.

Yeah, think Sam would have to agree with you on that one.

[ Rather than driving off after Castiel was safely in the car, Dean let the engine idle for a moment. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a generous wad of cash — his winnings from pool hustling a few nights back. It was a trick he'd have to teach Cas on another day. He held the bills up for the other to see before deftly slipping them into the inner breast pocket of Castiel's trenchcoat. There, nice and secure.

Now if anything were to happen — as it so often did in Dean's world full of the dark and nasty, then Cas would have enough money for food and shelter for at least a few more nights. ]

The language we humans speak. Afraid you're gonna have to start speaking it too now that you're living among us.

[ And with that, Dean shifted into drive, pulling away from the curb. ]

[His lips quirk on one side, pulling back into an awkward half-smile as though he doesn't quite know how to do it. He gets it. Because Sam is very large, by human standards.]

Sam did not have large metaphysical wings.

[Not that they were hindered by the car, but seeing your own wings stick out of an Impala going eighty down a highway was not a very comforting thought. It gave the illusion of claustrophobia. He had never been a fan. It's not so bad, now, though. Very spacious.

Well, probably still not for Sam, but as it turns out, this vessel is rather small, by human standards.

His eyes flick down to the wad of cash, and he sits stiff and unmoving as the hand snakes into the pocket of his trench coat. What is he-

Oh. Alright. Cas understands. Dean is giving him money. Wait, why is Dean giving him money? He should ask that.]

Am I not intended to stay with you indefinitely? I see no reason to carry this.

[He certainly doesn't have any plans to go splurging, or handle any business, or money, or... well, anything, really. He usually just leaves that up to Dean. Unless Dean doesn't want him around anymore. Giving him money and kindness is really more than he deserves, though, on second thought, it was highly presumptuous to assume he was forgiven to the extent that he be allowed to stay with the brothers.

He straightened his jaw, ignored that annoying human hollow feeling in his chest, and stared firmly out the windshield.]

Nah, 'cause that would have looked just weird.

[ To be honest, Dean had never given Castiel's 'wings' much thought. Probably 'cause he'd never really seen them ... except for that one time. He just assumed the angel could will them to appear and will them away whenever he chose to 'cause ... that's always how it works in the movies when angels choose to walk among the humans.

Dean's eyes were primarily on the road but he couldn't help taking glances of Castiel every now and again. When was the last time they'd driven together like this? The radio was playing Stones at a low volume and Dean was finally beginning to relax a tad. Sitting in the car with this Castiel wasn't like sitting in the car with the angel Castiel ( who seemed to have a perpetual stick up his ass ) nor was it like sitting with Sam and the hundreds of unspoken doubts that seemed to flit between them so easily these days.

Being in the car with the newly human Castiel was ... nice, almost companionable. Until the next question, that was. ]

You know how it is in our line of work. Anything could happen, we could get separated. And it's not like I can give you a yell like I used to, ya know? Just wanna make sure you're not starving and sleeping on the streets.

[ Dean gives him a cheery grin, easily hiding the real emotion. Hell, he's had a lot of practice and this time Castiel won't be so damn perceptive to it since he figured that the majority of that unusual perceptiveness came from that angel mojo of his.

The roads were clear, so Dean was able to put his foot down on the gas pedal. Sooner, he was pulling up in the parking lot of the diner. ]

On being brought back from the dead.

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Sorry, had to make a quick edit ;;

It's all good in the hood, G.

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