[Castiel pulls a few game pawns from his pocket, blue and green, collected from different games. He starts lining them up with no apparent pattern to them. And then he starts to talk. Because who will listen, if not himself? Besides... the other him is probably just another hallucination anyway.]
We locked them in the Cage. Michael and Lucifer and Sam. And Dean... Dean went to be happy with Lisa and Ben. I, I realized that Raphael, he would not stop. He wanted the Apocalypse. You know... how he is, how he can get. So. Not strong enough to fight him. I did consider requesting Dean's aid. But he deserved... peace, you know. And Crowley had a plan, and... it sounded reasonable at the time. So I took the souls, and I started civil war, and then I freed Sam from the Cage. I, I didn't notice I left his soul, of course. And I had to lie to them, to the Winchesters. All the time. Met Balthazar again, restored Sam's soul, but... Hell did a lot of damage, so. Tried to open Purgatory. Killed Rachel and Balthazar, broke Sam's mind to pieces, I, I didn't know what else to do. Fell out with Dean, opened Purgatory. I destroyed Raphael.
[Have some hesitation. Castiel doesn't look up from his pawns. One by one, he begins knocking down the blue ones.]
Killed his supporters in Heaven. I, I killed many humans, too. Declared myself a God, and didn't realize I had... freed the Leviathan from Purgatory. They killed me, and I... I came back, with no memory. Dean found me. Sam was dying, because I broke him. So. I got my memory back. I took Sam's taint. They left, then. Dean. And Sam. I see Lucifer, and all those I killed. Sometimes. It's gotten better. The End.
[The last pawn falls and Castiel places his hands in his lap and stares at his counterpart.]
no subject
We locked them in the Cage. Michael and Lucifer and Sam. And Dean... Dean went to be happy with Lisa and Ben. I, I realized that Raphael, he would not stop. He wanted the Apocalypse. You know... how he is, how he can get. So. Not strong enough to fight him. I did consider requesting Dean's aid. But he deserved... peace, you know. And Crowley had a plan, and... it sounded reasonable at the time. So I took the souls, and I started civil war, and then I freed Sam from the Cage. I, I didn't notice I left his soul, of course. And I had to lie to them, to the Winchesters. All the time. Met Balthazar again, restored Sam's soul, but... Hell did a lot of damage, so. Tried to open Purgatory. Killed Rachel and Balthazar, broke Sam's mind to pieces, I, I didn't know what else to do. Fell out with Dean, opened Purgatory. I destroyed Raphael.
[Have some hesitation. Castiel doesn't look up from his pawns. One by one, he begins knocking down the blue ones.]
Killed his supporters in Heaven. I, I killed many humans, too. Declared myself a God, and didn't realize I had... freed the Leviathan from Purgatory. They killed me, and I... I came back, with no memory. Dean found me. Sam was dying, because I broke him. So. I got my memory back. I took Sam's taint. They left, then. Dean. And Sam. I see Lucifer, and all those I killed. Sometimes. It's gotten better. The End.
[The last pawn falls and Castiel places his hands in his lap and stares at his counterpart.]
I don't fight anymore.