[Yeah, emotions suck. Watching you have them is never fun. Right now, it's making him have emotions, it's making his chest clench up and his throat grow tight. When you tell him you lied, he flinches. Don't say that, Cas. Don't put that on him, please. Except of course you have the right, it's what he signed up for when he dragged you down from Heaven to fight alongside him. It makes him want to pull back, makes him want to leave and find his Cas, who won't tell him he hates him for what Dean did to him. But of course he won't leave. You've got a right to say all of that to him, you've got a right to feel that way about him. And it's his job to listen. It's the least he can do.]

[He doesn't say anything when you go quiet, just watches you. Glances down as you put a hand against his chest, then looks back up to meet your eyes. He's unable. Yeah. He was when you knew him.]

When I— [His voice catches, so he clears his throat. Tries again.] After Lawrence. After the final showdown in Lawrence. May 2010. [He takes a deep breath. Steady, man. He's talked about this before, he can do so now.] I got out of hunting. With Sam gone, and you gone, I just— [He shrugs.] I ended up in Milwaukee. I was on my own for two years before you showed up, and even then— [He swallows as he remembers, finds your eyes again.] It didn't work. I was too messed up, you were too messed up. Unable. Both of us. [He shrugs again.] So you left for a while. Eighteen months. Got back about a year ago. And then it was just normal life, you know? No apocalypse, not even any spirits or ghouls or werewolves. We had time to work it out. So—now I've got a picture of you on my phone. [He meets your eyes.] Because we worked it out.

[Does that make sense? That's all he's got. If that doesn't make sense, he doesn't know what else to tell you.]