Ho hum, another voice test...considering all sorts of places

[brujah_barkeep]

You're a righteous pain in the ass, you know that, right? And I do mean that as a compliment. Well, usually. When the whole "pain in the ass" thing isn't at my expense. But right now, I'm the one who's on the receiving end so just...forget what I said before.

Look. Seriously. Dude. While I appreciate the attention, and I do appreciate attention, I don't like where your head is right now when it comes to me.

I'm a vampire, kid. Vampires can only function in certain environments. Namely, ones without friggin' sunlight. So just...keep your hands where I can see them and back away and I won't have to pound your ass into next Thursday.

Kay?

Comments

[legallydead]

Yeah, give these people an inch and they'll take a mile. You might want to invest in a heavy-duty umbrella, though. Just in case.

[brujah_barkeep]

Cute. Fucking cute.

I'm laughin' on the inside.

[legallydead]

I'm told I have a bleak sense of humor. It's a coping mechanism.

[brujah_barkeep]

Whaddya got to cope with?

[legallydead]

Plague, government airstrikes, technology spontaneously ceasing to function, aggressive Camarilla masquerade cover-ups, looting, vengeful ghosts, diablerists, occasionally finding myself transported to strange, usually horrible places... you know, like you do.

[brujah_barkeep]

Oh. So you're from Phoenix, huh?

[legallydead]

I see we're famous.

[brujah_barkeep]

Yeah. My boss lady's sisters got caught up in that shit.

Sounds like it sucked.

[legallydead]

Understatement of the year, that. Who're they? Your boss's sisters, that is.

[brujah_barkeep]

The infamous York girls. Caine and Abel.

[legallydead]

Oh, Diana? I liked her. Is it any less ridiculous in your neck of the woods?

[brujah_barkeep]

Spending an eternity hunting after Easter eggs?

Yeah, totally not ridiculous.

[legallydead]

I... vaguely recall something along those lines myself, now that you mention it. Kinda like Alice in Wonderland on more drugs than usual? I'm not sure if I prefer that or this weird internet limbo.

[brujah_barkeep]

Limbo is always better than Hell.