dear_mun | Homeless, possibly looking

Entry tags:

canon: kick-ass

Homeless, possibly looking

Well, it's about fucking time you brought me back out again. It's been, what, a year and a half?

Yeah, yeah, you wanted to wait until part two ended, don't give me that bullshit. It ended months ago. You're just a slacker. I'm ready for some fucking mayhem now that you waited so long, so you better deliver.

If you have to find one of these lame-ass games to put me in, I don't know why you want that dumbass Dave there. Is it so I can beat him up and kill him? Because that's what'll happen. Don't even get me started on that horrible fucking demon-spawn kid, though. I'm not going anywhere where she is. At least, not without backup.

Thanks, loser.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

What's your issue?

[Webs your mouth shut] Tuttuttut. Watch your language.

You need backup to deal with a kid? [Bringing up that he gets beaten up by Robin every other week will only end in pain.]

I don't have issues!

Agh -

[He pulls it off. Yuck.]

I'm not twelve, jackass! [How could you, Spidey? He buys all your comics.]

[And apparently didn't learn anything from them.]

You're certainly acting like it.

[No, Joker, you're cool enough to avoid insulting.]

Okay, a lot of people think that, but this kid is crazy. Trained killer since she was born, or some shit.

She's killed a lot of people. I mean, not that I haven't, but she's not a normal kid.

You get beaten up by Robin every other week.

No way! I'm acting like a mature fucking adult who doesn't take any shit from anyone.

Also, I'm a supervillain. I'm allowed to swear.

Perhaps your mun should let you crawl back into whatever cesspool you came from. [Because really, what's with that language and attitude? ...And apparent fear of children? :|]

Perhaps your mun should let you go fuck yourself.

[That language and attitude is...well, okay, no excuses for that. But that particular child is terrifying, why will no one listen!]

Uh huh, sure. And I don't have braids.

Fess up.

The main character's of Kevin Smith movies are not a valid benchmark of maturity.

And the only villains who swear nearly as much as you do are all C-lister mooks. The big ones don't even bother.

Well, uh, I've been sitting here doing nothing for a really long time, and now my mun wants to go looking for these two losers who killed my dad, tried to kill me, and who I hate.

I guess I take issue with some of that.

Those are some funny fucking movies, don't diss on them.

Well, I bother. That's my thing. My villain name is The Motherfucker, wouldn't it look kinda weird if I introduced myself like that and then went around talking all G-Rated shit all the time?

And what's wrong with being crazy? It's done wonders for me!

[In regards to her killing lots of people...] So does cholesterol, but you don't see me placing that highly on my threat list. Normal or not, kids are really easy to kill - I've found that much out the fun way!

Perhaps your mun should let me consume you. Or at the very least let me clean your mouth out with a bar of soap.

[Because he's obviously a no-good criminal, who suffers from possible paranoia.]

You look weird already.

No, she's the shitty kind of crazy. She's all "you gotta obey the law or I'll kill you", because that's not being a huge hypocrite or anything.

Yeah, I've found that out, too, it's just this one kid. Like, I hired a bodyguard from Russia. She used to be bodyguard for Putin, before she got fired for killing the other bodyguards because they accused her of cheating at cards. She was an expert at pretty much every martial art, and took down a ton of armed cops on her own.

This kid fucking decapitated her with glass from a broken window.

Well see that kinda sucks for you. Cuz I know the girl and looking at you? Odds not in your favor~

And what's with the name? Your mom lonely?

Consume me? Gross.

If you wanna lecture me, I've done plenty of shit worse than swearing.

Oh, that hardly counts. I'm usually paralyzed with laughter every time I see that ridiculous get-up that Batsy makes 'em wear!

Says you.

Such as run away from little girls, apparently.

Do you know how many people this little girl has killed?! Why does no one believe me?

But no, I've killed people too, so I think that's worse. But if it really bothers you, I'm sorry about my fucking language.

I know that! I'm a genius, and I'm awesome, but this girl is a dangerous weirdo and that's why I need back up.

You're not supposed to take it literally.

[growl] she's not weird where I come from.

I'm a Viking, we take most things literally.

Do you know how many that I've killed? It doesn't matter, she's still human.

...I can see why he prefers your film counterpart.

(And why that version of you will gradually become similar to Riku in my Kingdom Hearts fanmake ser-)

Not outside the ones you term, the AF.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Homeless, possibly looking

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It just seemed like the proper answer.

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Threadjack, because Spidey would bring it up.

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XD

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MOAR VOICE TESTING