AU!Tasha has a bone to pick with her mun about names

[losemyselfinriddles]

Can you stop calling me the Wonderland girl?

I have a name, several of the actually. I know I'm different and I know you have her too, the other me, the real one, but I'm more than what's broken about me, I'm more than the girl who got transported and came back.

I'm more than the Wonderland girl.

Comments

[ohshinytomatoes]

I know what you mean. Mine calls me...City Parker. I...I don't really know what that means, but I know it's a bad version of me. Broken. More broken, I mean.

I...wish she would come up with a real verse name for that and..and just call me Parker.

What can I call you?

[losemyselfinriddles]

Natasha, that's the ost ommon name.

[She smiles uncertainly] I can just call you Parker. Nothing else.

[ohshinytomatoes]

Thanks Natasha. I like being called Parker.

Are you okay? Is your munperson being mean to you?

[losemyselfinriddles]

They treat me well enough, they just take away my name. It makes it hard sometimes, to keep in mind who I am. I have trouble with it as is and they keep calling me Wonderland girl, like I'm nothing else but a victim and....And I'm not, I loved being there and going wasn't a bad thing. Coming back was the bad part, coming back made everythig complicated.

[She stops talking, shaking her head] You didn't ask about that, sorry.

[ohshinytomatoes]

I know what you mean. Well, not about loving being there. I didn't.

Can't you stay there? If it's better?

[losemyselfinriddles]

I can't find my way back. I'm lost here and I was lost there but at least, while I was there, I think I was supposed to be lost.

[spider_kisser]

Well of course you're not the Wonderland girl. That's Alice. You're Black Widow of the Avengers!

[olympic_lion]

Wonderland... I've not known that to be a tale much told in Russia, Natasha.

[She seems a bit off from the Tasha he knows, so he'll just be a little cautious with her.]

[losemyselfinriddles]

That's who I'm supposed to be, yes. [She nods her head] But she gets lost. All the names get lost, all the people, the lives. They ever stay where I put them. The Black Widow is there and Natalia is there and everyone is there, waiting in my head for the day I can figure them all out.

[She is not etirely functional...]

[losemyselfinriddles]

No, they don't. I don't think they do., at least I don't remember. [She studies him, his face, his eyes] I think I remember you though. Maybe. The champion? A champion? Something.

[She shakes her head, her fingers coming to rub against her temples.]

[olympic_lion]

[Did she... has she lost her memory? Not cool, mundane, not cool at all.] A Champion, aye. Your Champion, once- though it would be as true to say that you were mine.

[What with her being team leader and all, anyway...] Natasha. What do you remember?

[losemyselfinriddles]

[Something like that. More like, she fell into Wonderland, it ravaged her brain and she's left a splintered mind but y'know.] Yours. I was...yours. Right.

[Considering the question, she shakes her head. I don't....I remember everything and nothing. I remember words and wounds and winning. I remember entire worlds but they're fleeting, always fleeting. nothing stays.

She tilts her head at him, studying his face. I remember your nme on ay lips.

[olympic_lion]

[Considerably more troubling, that- though to break after all her trainers put her through, is going to make putting the pieces back together ever so much harder. Perhaps more cool, mundane, but certainly not nice.]

Well do I recall the same, happier times in happier days. You've ever a dear place in my heart, fair Tasha.

[He touched her cheek gently, carefully, with one blunt-fingered hand.] But have you any memory of what makes it all fly from you?

[losemyselfinriddles]

[Perhaps but also fascinating. She's putting herself back together already, it's just a matter of getting the pieces arranged in the right order.]

Happier times. [She closes her eyes upon saying the words, reaching inside her memories, the few scattered ones she has and tries to grasp what he's talking about.] I'll have to trust you're right.

[She shakes her head.] Not today. Everything is....odd. Off. Not quite there. The world exists in bits and pieces, I've got them, the makings of the puzzle but I can't figure out how they fit together.

[ohshinytomatoes]

Supposed to be lost?

[losemyselfinriddles]

Everything was different there. The world was...strange and twisted and a little bit wrong. It as a place where you were supposed to be lost and confused and unure of everything but that's what made it beautiful, I think.

I don't know, I can't remember, not exactly.

[ohshinytomatoes]

It sounds like where I was, but it wasn't beautiful there. Not at all. It was....dark, and lonely. Were you lonely?

[olympic_lion]

[Fascinating from your perspective, perhaps- he's more interested by far in fitting the pieces of her mind together as quickly and cleanly as possible, and if tying a Jabberwock into knots or laying waste the forces of a Queen of Hearts would help that process? Well, then the denizens of Wonderland had best hang on to their butts.]

Believe me, I am. [He was a little hesitant, but put an arm around her shoulders nonetheless- She knew him, remembered that much. And the tangible sense of a person there and caring, someone who was part of her past and wanting to help it come back- That couldn't be a bad thing, right?]

All jumbled about and bewildering? Aye, that has a familiar ring. But mayhap you could start with a few that bear a similar shape? [His shape, for instance. This is his idea of helping.]