Voicetest / Canon is the Vlad Taltos books

[vlad_taltos]

Let's be honest here, since we're all among friends.

If I could, I would put a knife in your left eye and be done with it. Seeing as how that apparently isn't an option, there are a few... issues that need to be addressed.

I've been looking around in here, and apart from the fact that you are an absolute mess I've noticed some tendencies. For one you seem a little obsessed with pairing your 'muses' up with people.

What in Verra's name is a muse anyway?

Never mind. You are aware that I have a wife, yes? I know things are kind of rough between us at some points but I do love her.

As for these 'games', as I understand it I'd be in them without Loiosh and you can just forget that one right away, all right? It's not happening.

Let's see, what else... yes, I did also note that there are a lot of us in here. Kind of cramped, to tell you the truth and while they're all lovely people I'm sure, none of them are my wife, my familiar or any other of my friends.

So, how about you just let me go on back home, and entertain yourself with those splendid others instead?

I don't know about you but that sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

Comments

[element_wizard]

I was married to someone named Verra.

[vlad_taltos]

Probably wasn't this one.

[ This... is really weird. Let us mask how weirded out we are with banter. Yes. ]

Don't tell me I have an evil twin after all.

[element_wizard]

Likely not. She was a dragon.

[Is utterly not weirded out by this. But then again has had this happen to him before.]

Not that I know of.

[vlad_taltos]

How did I never hear of a Dragon marrying an Easterner?

[ Nope, not talking about the same thing. Give him a moment. ]

Wait, sorry, forget I asked. This place is weird.

So who are you, then? And, perhaps more importantly, why do we look the same?

[element_wizard]

Possibly alcohol was involved. [It wasn't, but it is possible.]

It's fine. Life is weird.

I'm Alec. And we look the same because this is the powers that be decided would be the best look for the most handsome, intelligent, fascinating, and just generally perfect man should look like.

[Ego, much?]

[vlad_taltos]

No one gets that drunk. [ He'll just do what he does and adapt to this situation. Clearly this guy isn't from around his parts.

And that was an awful lot of flattery right there together with the egomania. ]

You did hear the part where I said I'm married, right?

[element_wizard]

[He visited, briefly, once.] It's possible.

[It was all ego.]

I did. And as lovely as I ... you... we are. I am honestly not one of those people who would go out on a date with someone who looked like themselves.

[vlad_taltos]

Anything's possible, I suppose.

And then we have something in common, because neither am I.

... because I'm locked in as her.

[atruevixen]

I can tell from personal experience that she will care very little about pre-existing marriages.

[ Yeah, blame it all on the mun. :| ]

[vlad_taltos]

I really don't need help getting things messed up between me and my wife.

[ It kind of goes seriously downhill in canon anyway. ]

[atruevixen]

Neither did I, and you can't possibly guess where it got me.

You get the blondes, apparently.

[celestical]

Oh honey, once you are here, you'll never get back.

[vlad_taltos]

Do tell.

[ Not like he's got anywhere in particular to be, apparently. Might as well listen to the pretty lady. ]

I have no problem with this.

[vlad_taltos]

Thank you for that stirring inspirational speech, but I'd prefer to keep my outlook a little more optimistic.

[atruevixen]

I went from a... complicated marriage and a nice, if difficult, family-life to becoming a future fae queen alongside a man who is most definitely not the one from the previously mentioned marriage.

[vlad_taltos]

...

All right, I'll be honest and say that I wasn't expecting that.

And you... like this man?

[ Not that he wants to think about something similar happening to himself, mind. There is this whole 'canon point' thing apparently so there is of course the possibility that the version of him that gets paired up with someone else hasn't actually fallen in love with Cawti yet.

... But that doesn't actually make him feel any better. ]

Very good. Contemplating another. :|

[celestical]

I was just tentatively preparing you for the future.

If you want the positive side, well. 'Games' are unlikely because these muns often have an awful workload to handle, but PSLs most certainly end up being a possibility, and, believe me when I say that those tend to be pleasant.

You just love me that much

[vlad_taltos]

You know this from experience?

[ You get this icon again just because I like it. ]

[atruevixen]

'Like' is the understatement of the century, making all of this a lot more complex.

[ Oh Vlad. Poor, poor Vlad. ]

You know I do.

[celestical]

[ Neither Selene nor I mind. ]

Up-close and personal experience, yes.

[vlad_taltos]

Up-close and pleasant?

[ He isn't usually this slow but by Verra's tits this is weird. ]

[vlad_taltos]

Yeah, I can see that.

[ That is just... supremely unsettling and uncomfortable. He thought he'd gotten pretty all right at dealing with the weird and creepy and uncomfortable, but this still unsettles him something fierce. ]

[atruevixen]

[ She feels a little bad for him because of that. ]

So, about your wife...

[celestical]

Very much so. He most certainly thought so, too, come to think of it...

Alas, all of that and I haven't even introduced myself.

I am Selene.

[ And really, she can't help it. ] A pleasure to meet you.

[vlad_taltos]

It's... kind of complicated too.

[ Mun can't remember the exact circumstances right this moment but yes, it isn't good.

There is also a kid involved that he is not aware of. ]