possible spoilers in comments

[fifth_kazekage]

…Mun. I am injured, not dead. [Yet.] Your hysterics are unnecessary.

[When he hears the next suggestion, Gaara closes his eyes for a moment and starts rubbing his temples.]

I am not going to keep elderly women around me for revival purposes. [Confused blink.] …What is an “Oedipus complex”?

Comments

Tsunade's grandma? y/y?

[madame_tranquility]

[ Have a pretty lady, in about her twenties. Those are curious looking seals attached to the buns in her hair, too. You're not supposed to touch them. ]

Oh, that's too bad... Would you prefer the company of old men, then?

[ See that twinkle in her eyes~? ]

Are you going to revive him too? XD

[fifth_kazekage]

[Gaara quirks a brow at the unknown woman. If he was a Konoha citizen, he might know who this is, but oh well. They don’t exactly drill another village’s history in his own.]

To be used as tools of revival? I don’t place higher value on my life over theirs.

[Teasing just sails right over his head. Oops.]

WELP. Old man Hashirama can revive him if he wanted ;D

[madame_tranquility]

[ No? Not even Hashirama's wife, Mito Uzumaki, the first jinchuuriki? Oh boy. Kurama is snuggling inside her belly as she speaks <3 ]

And if they do it willingly? Will you not honor their wishes?

[ There is a little pause where she glances at her hands, smiling, as if she knew a secret of sorts~ ]

Would you have minded less if they were younger ladies?

What is it with old people reviving Gaara? =\ Hashi would hit him with a huge stick.

[fifth_kazekage]

[He probably knows her name, but her face? Doubtful. She’s so old, they only had stone tablets to write on back then. :D]

I will regard them with respect. [Like Elder Chiyo.

Slow blink. Why does he get the feeling there is more to her words than what they seem? The way she talks reminds him of his siblings at times.]

No. I don’t have any prejudice against the elderly.

[He’s no fun. XD Hard to tease a wet blanket, isn’t it?]

pshhhh Hashi is non-violent /yeah right XD He'd slap him with a root I guess

[madame_tranquility]

[ Oh stfu >[ She would only be a little older than Kakuzu or something ;;

And oh dear, Mito realizes she can't really tease him with him not knowing what she was teasing him about. But she smiles softly anyway; she thinks he's rather cute, being rather naive and innocent in this particular aspect. ]

Prejudice is a failing indeed. I am glad you aren't. But I can see why a comrade would sacrifice themselves for your well-being.

You are very young. [ Pause ] Kazekage...? [ A slight lilt to her tone to suggest a question, not entirely sure, but because there is something about him, she does have a very strong suspicion that he most probably is the leader of the Sand. ]

Ouch. Bitchslapped by a root. Take away his manliness, why don’t you? >:

[fifth_kazekage]

[Stone. Tablets. :D Did they have indoor plumbing back then?

He knows how to tease a little bit? He’s just not very good at it. But this lady is patient with him, which is surprising.

Well, she’s also confusing him.] For what reason? [He’s never really seen much value in his life, given his background…] You must have loyal comrades, to harbor that belief.

[A slightly wry smile here.] Age has little relevance to our profession. [He nods in response to her question.] I am the Fifth Kazekage of Suna. [He looks at her curiously.] Who are you?

Hashi just wants you to get up and BE A MAN, Gaara >[ /SLAP

[madame_tranquility]

[ Aren't you glad your ancestors invented indoor plumbing so you kids wouldn't bitch and whine in the future~? >.> ]

We do. [ Have loyal comrades, that is. ] Mostly. [ Except Madara. ]

Mm, perhaps it does not have much relevance. However, you are not only the leader of your village, but also its future. [ A genuine smile. At least in Konoha, they treasured their future and sacrificed all they had for the betterment of that very future. ]

The Fifth... [ Wow. She feels so damned old right now |: ] Already....

[ Ah, but he's asking her about herself and-- ] Uzumaki Mito. Wife of Senju Hashirama.

Be a man! We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon!

[fifth_kazekage]

[Psssh. We’ll just invent better ways of getting rid of waste. Like, invisible bathrooms or something.]

Of course. Not everyone can be trusted. [LOOKIN’ AT YOU, SASO.]

It is our duty, our purpose in serving the citizens of the village.

[Ooooooooooooold lady. :D]

The lifespan of a Kage isn’t… expected to last very long.

[Oh-well, he’s never been very polite to the other Kage, has he? But he will incline his head in a slight bow to her.] You are related to Naruto.

[bloodcurdling_cheesecake]

Mun says it's like being a Mama's Boy, but even more so. Also something about seeing a father as a rival for a mother's affection.

*staaaaaaares* o_o

[fifth_kazekage]

A "Mama's Boy"? [Nope, he doesn't get that either. Have a deadpan stare.] Of course I am my mother's son.

[He frowns slightly.] I never had the opportunity to meet my mother. I don't doubt that she loved my... father. My siblings as well.

*staaaares back?*O_O?

[bloodcurdling_cheesecake]

Yeah, but, this is like an unhealthy fixation, or something. Well, most of the time. Like, being in love with your Ma.

I ain't sayin' you are. Just that's what it means.

Looking kinda girly there, Kanji. XD

[fifth_kazekage]

…I see. [He frowns a little.] Romantic love, correct? I don’t harbor that emotion toward my mother. [Kinda hard to love someone that he never met or knew.]

Apparently, my mun is accusing you of being a “Mama’s boy.” Are you in love with your mother? [He’s asking this completely calmly, as though it’s a perfectly reasonable question.]

There is a genderflip of every character, no exceptions!

[bloodcurdling_cheesecake]

I look up to Ma, but she's been gone a while now. [She tilts her head, frowning deeply.] A-and I'm just takin' care of dad! He' not gettin' any younger.

[That and she thinks she can stop him, from dying just by her own sheer force of will.]

He's still awesome, even as a girl. :3

[fifth_kazekage]

Your mother is also dead, and yet, you still admire her? Love her?

Hmm. [A slight curl of his lips in amusement.] Death is the eventuality that all humans share.

lmao tbh that was... his opening post at Asgard XD

[madame_tranquility]

[ Invisible bathrooms. Really? SO EVERYONE ELSE CAN WATCH YOU CRAP? No thank you, she likes her covered bathrooms very much |: ]

I am not denying that. [ She knows. She's married to the first Kage ever, and sometimes, she has to drag him away for personal ti-- oops. TMI. ]

The lifespan of a Kage is generally not taken into consideration during the voting process. [ She reminds him gently. ] Neither is the lifespan of a shinobi. We all get into it knowing we will sacrifice our lives for our village, for the people we love.

[ And ah-- She does not know who Naruto is. ] ...Naruto? [ Wait, hold on. She met him around here once upon a time. ] Naruto... A boy your age? Orange? [ lol orange |8 ]

…whut.

[fifth_kazekage]

[No, like in Family Guy. It’s hard to explain. Something you gotta watch.

Not taken into consideration… He smirks a little, but it’s out of bemusement.] It depends on the candidate. [He feels fairly certain that his council was hoping for his swift death during his election. They got their wish.]

I was killed once before. I will die again, if necessary. That seems to be the source of my mun’s distress.

Yes. That is, he wears orange and black clothing. [IT’S AN ORANGE BOY.]

[unluckyslugqueen]

[Ha?! Elderly?! Huff.]

Do you really want an answer to that question or was that hypothetical.

[fifth_kazekage]

[His mun's words, not his. :3 Old lady~

Gaara greets her calmly.] Hokage.

[He shakes his head.] It wasn't a rhetorical question. But I am not in love with either you or Elder Chiyo.

[unluckyslugqueen]

[Pfft. This old lady can still keep it together, okay Gaara-mun? bad joke is bad

Her response is equally calm, now slightly amused.] Kazekage.

[Eyebrow raise, and a slight twitch at the corner of her lips, repressing a smirk.] I'm glad to hear it. I think it's good to rely on your allies once in a while. It couldn't hurt in our case.

[She's just a bit "split" on the topic at hand here.]

[fifth_kazekage]

[Uh huh. We'll just sew you right back together. Make sure you pick up all those stray organs!]

This fight... it exemplified our need for more shinobi with knowledge of medical techniques. Even with all of our offensive and defensive capabilities, we were still unable to defeat Madara.

[While Tsunade was healing, Gaara was probably the meat shield. That's no fun.]

[unluckyslugqueen]

[That's the spirit!! She could probably regrow her organs with her usual advanced healing if she wasn't dying of blood loss... oh the strange drawbacks in situations like this...]

That it did. Though I doubt any one would have lived long enough to heal the others with him present. It's why medics would be the first to die in a fight. Kill the medic and the rest of the party suffers that much easier. That's something I stressed back before platoons had medics in the field.

[Poor kid. They all look like hell warmed over right about now...]

[dance_mypuppets]

I dunno, I think it's a pretty good time to be pissed right the hell off.

Doesn't help my mun's all "Hey Kan if Gaara dies do you get to be Rokudaime?" She's on her way to a nasty case of food poisoning if she doesn't shut it.

…Dela, the muse is just going to :| at you now.

[fifth_kazekage]

[omg it’s a puppet bro]

At my mun, or Madara?

[Icon keywords.]

She seems to want it badly, for you to succeed me.

[fifth_kazekage]

[If not, can’t we just give her prosthetic limbs? u.u]

He targeted you first for more than just that reason. Because of your bloodline, correct? As though you should be held responsible for your grandfather’s encounter with him.

You are still needed by your village, Tsunade. Don’t be so eager to discard your life.

Yeah, Kankuro's been doing that since I read the chapter

[dance_mypuppets]

At Madara. And at my bitch of a mun.

And nope. She just likes seeing me be upset and depressed.

She's been playing out how it would have gone if we were still in Facility, basically.