dear_mun | voice-test. she came out of nowhere.

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voice-test. she came out of nowhere.

I don't suppose you're actually looking for a place right now, are you? When's the last time you actually took me anywhere outside of Kirkwall? And no, that trip to Chateau Haine doesn't count. If I'd wanted that much fresh air, I could have taken myself up to Sundermount. There would have been less jail cells involved....and no worried loved ones, for that matter.

[sigh+headshake. She can handle herself, but...]

What? No. No, I won't go to a place that doesn't let me keep my blades, thank you very much. I'm not exactly well versed in fisticuffs, so I need them. Although, if I can't have my blades...can I least have my bow and a few arrows? No? Well alright then. You know my terms, so the rest is up to you, if you do decide to go through with this. Though perhaps you should have Varric retell my story first. Just to be sure you have all the details straight.

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I'm afraid to say talking to a Mun can be talking to Meredith. She'll appear to take in what you have to say, at least on some level, then lie about it and then go back to being an absolute crazy-woman.

[Hawke grins.]

Other than that? It's a great time. I'm in a place where Fenris thought I was a rogue, Anders doesn't remember me and I get to be best buddies with Zevran.

Somehow I think I'd have an easier time talking to Meredith. I can at least best her in a fight. These people, on the other hand...

[Marian shakes her head again. that should be all the answer this...other Hawke needs. Maker, he looks so much like Father it almost hurts.]

Well, that's better news that I could have hoped for, but I'm not sure how you see Anders forgetting you to be a great time. Though I suppose it's better than him hating you.

It's actually the worst part. Considering I was in a devoted to him in a relationship since about a year after we met.

[That fact still pained him, but he didn't let it show, or he tried not to let it show.]

But I'll get used to it. Plenty of wine and learning to brood with Fenris and having my ego stroked by Zevran's advances will get me through it. If the Anders's mun plan goes through I'll have to give up all hope of Anders ever coming back to me.

[Can you hide something from someone who's basically yourself? Who knows. Marian's just putting that mess into her own life and ow. If Fenris forgot her like that...after all this time...]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry. Is there nothing anyone else could do? Some sort of magic or poultice that might help on this side of things?

It's okay. Like I said, fine wine and ego soothing with a healthy dose of brooding. But you know us, nothing keeps us down for long.

[He grins at her.]

So I take it you're of the rogue brand eh?

There is truth to that, thank the Maker. Fenris does enough brooding for the whole of Kirkwall without either of us adding to it.

[and he gets a grin right back. Time for some fun.]

Well, I'm no warrior, that's for sure. I can't swing a broadsword to save my life; they're much too slow. Daggers are just the better end of the lot, really.

If you prefer to be that close into striking distance of course. I much prefer to swing my weight around and keep enemies somewhat at bay.

[He teased drawing his sword and surveying it.]

It also helps if you've been endowed with the strength of a Reaver. It makes swinging it about much much easier.

And I suppose you're as good at dodging as Carver used to be? I lost count of the number of times Bethany had to fix him up before we left Ferelden.

[still she knows a fine blade when she sees one, and will nod appreciatively.]

Yes, that would help. I've trained for speed, however: get in, kill things, and get back out before they even notice. Not that it's helped with avoiding bear traps, I'm afraid.

It's never the bear traps that get me. It's always the ones that spout fire or have spears in them. But oh well. The closer I am to dying the stronger I am, and Anders usually caches me with a heal in time.

[He laughs, shaking his head.]

Often enough anyway!

More often than Varric spotting the bear traps in the first place, I'd hope! You'd think being closer to the ground would help him see them faster, but...

[she just chuckles, tapping one booted foot against the ground. Scars to prove it and all that.]

Nothing wrong with a little pain. It builds character. Isn't that what Mother always said?

Yes, usually right before we did something stupid, like the time Carver and I frightened Bethany and she nearly set the Barn on fire.

[He chuckles.]

Bethany. I hope she benefits from the mayhem I caused supporting the mages.

[blink. blink blink. ...By all that is holy, she should have realized--]

Frankly, I think she'd benefit just by being alive to see that mayhem in the first place! If she's still among the living, the Kirkwall you come from is a much better place than mine.

... I... didn't take her on the expedition. She was left behind and taken to the circle. She enjoyed it there. She got to teach the little ones. I got letters every week.

[Though that struck a nerve with him. Bethany was his little baby sister.]

Bethany is dead? What did you do?!

[Bethany was her sister, too. To know that leaving her behind could have ended with her in the Circle instead of dead...Andraste, but for another chance...]

What else was I supposed to do? Leave her in Kirkwall with the Templars breathing down our necks? I thought she'd be safer in the Deep Roads. [frown.] None of us expected the corruption to get her. I'd have had Merrill take her to Sundermount if I'd known that would happen.

[That... That made him angry. But he was going to let it know. Punching himself would not be a good solution in this situation.]

Well, Mother begged. And The Expedition was dangerous. For what you've told me, I'm glad I left her behind. Better her alive in the circle than dying of the taint.

[Like poor Wesley. There needs to be a hasty change of subject. Quick!]

But Isabela still barely contains her breasts and makes passes until men give in right? I'm not sure I could handle that much change.

[He has more subtle control of his emotions than she does, at least. Marian rakes a hand through her hair and sighs heavily, shoving the thoughts of a world where her beloved sister survived into daydream territory. Not now, Hawke. Later.]

Both men and women. She doesn't seem to care what gender her target is; if they take her, she'll have them. [shrug] And what about your world? Does Fenris still brood and throw bottles of expensive wine at the walls? Does Varric still spin tall tales while Aveline tries her hardest to not get drunk so she can clean up the inevitable mess?

Aveline is fond of her Spirits, Varric spins tales to Anders and asks him questions, and Fenris will happily smash a bottle of wine across the room yes.

[He chuckles.]

I'm glad they're at least that similar.

[She smiles softly now, a fond look in her eyes. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Huh.]

Likewise. [pause. There's no easy way to ask this, but...] And what of Anders himself? Did he go through with his plans in the end? Or were you able to talk him down?

He... well he exploded the chantry. I can't say I condoned it... but [He shook his head this was difficult.] I know it was wrong. But sometimes good things can come from disasters. I just hope it was worth it.

[Hawke sighed and put a hand to his forehead.]

And the heart wants what it wants. I was... angry. Livid and I sent him away-- But... I couldn't stay angry.

Maker--that blighted fool. [She turns away, one hand covering her face to keep her muttering about the things she'd do to that mage quiet. She can understand this Hawke's reasoning, of course, but...well, best to not say aloud what will happen between Anders and her favored dagger.]

That makes you a much kinder soul that I, Messere. I can't say he'll survive the next time I see him, here or in our world. [sigh.] I just wish he'd talked before doing something so stupid. We could have figured something out. Something that didn't involve so much death.

If you raise your blade to him, know that I will be there to strike you down. For all his misgivings he is still my lover. I will find away for him to atone if it is possible, Maker willing I find some way. But lest you forget, we ourselves have had dealings that have lead to a lot of death.

[He still felt partly guilty over the Arishok incident. A lot of people died when they didn't have to, and though saving them made him a hero, it did not absolve him of his part in it.]

His methods were wrong, but his message is right. Mages should not be treated the way they were in Kirkwall.

Your Anders is your lover, and I swear to you that I won't touch him, but mine? If he isn't halfway to the Anderfels by now, I won't need to be the one to strike him down. I'd just be the quickest and least painful option.

[she lifts one dagger from the sheathes on her back, toying an edge against the pad of her thumb. Both to prove that it would be a clean and quick kill, along with needing to have a defense ready if anything else she says sets him off. A Reaver is a hard target to take down alone.]

I'm not going to lie and say we didn't cause more death than that one explosion over our years in Kirkwall. But you know just as well as I do that it didn't have to come to what it did. There were other ways, ways that Anders refused to see because he was blinded by "justice". The Grand Cleric's death set off a Rite of Anullment because there was no one left to stop it; if she'd survived, Meredith never would have been able to go ahead with it.

Meredith's mind was addled by the idol. She would have gone through with it no matter what stood in her way, Grand Cleric or not.

[He said angrily, oh how he did not like this version of himself.]

Did you not hear her ramblings? She was insane. Even less incapable of rational thought than ever. If the mother denied her the Rite of Anullment she would have simply turned the remaining mages Tranquil.

[He looked at her darkly.]

And that is worse than death.

Insane, but not strong enough to go through the entire Templar Order and my merry band of rogues. [She gives him a look, not at all phased by how angry he's sounding. The feeling of dislike is turning mutual over here.]

The only one who needed to die that day was Meredith herself, I will admit to that. She'd have snapped eventually and it would have been better to have it done with sooner rather than later. What you seem to be forgetting in all this is that because of what Anders did, we had a larger problem to deal with than one insane Templar. No matter which side that you or I would have chosen, innocents would have died that day. Far too many, at that rate.

If he hadn't done what he did? We could have done something else. Saved more innocent lives, Mage and Templar alike. Not lost the Grand Cleric, who was practically the only person keeping Kirkwall from turning into an even bigger shithole. None of us are above blame, but even you have to realize that his actions were the catalyst. Do you know we don't even have a death toll for the Chantry building itself yet? It's been over a year since then and we still don't know how many died in there.

Meredith saw shadows in places where there were candles. She saw everything as threat, it spilled from mages to those who sympathised and even into her own order. Anders actions were wrong, to attack the Chantry was not the right thing to do. But Meredith's crushing boot was pushing more and more mages to Blood Magic.--

[Hawke looked at the other version of himself.]

Why are we even arguing? It's not like it'll change anything. Especially as we're from different worlds. And mine is clearly the better one.

[He shook himself off. He'd still kill her if she tried to kill Anders, but eh. He'd kill anyone that tried to kill Anders.]

I say we shake hands, shake out a little bit, and go and drown ourselves in a gallon of Ale each, assuming that you have my taste for beers.

[There is still so much she wants to say on the topic, still nowhere near done exhausting it, but she instead shuts her jaw so quickly that her teeth click. He's right, of course; she saw all the signs and knew what was going to happen, to some degree, but if Anders had only talked to her--it doesn't matter. Her psuedo-brother is gone, hopefully long across the Anderfels to deal with his demons, and she won't follow. She doesn't want to follow.

So she instead squares her shoulders, imagining Bethany and Mother giving her unimpressed looks for this near-explosive argument, and she sheathes her blade while extending her right hand. Maker, don't let her regret this.]

That depends. Does your Varric call them rat-water or rag-water? I can't say I'm overly fond of rat-tonic.

It depends how much he's had to drink.

[Oh there is so much he wishes to say to this... misguided woman. At how the plight of the mages is so much more pressing when Bethany is subjected to it, When your lover is so determined to make a difference.

But... there's no point in fighting. And the conversation gave him some perspective on how Anders may have felt his reaction could have been like. He smiled and took her hand. And shook it.]

I'd kiss it but I'm not sure how I feel about kissing the alternate version of myself's hand. It feels incestuous.

Rag-water it is, then. I just hope you're better at holding your drink than a dwarf who lives in a bloody tavern is.

[Well, no blade in the gut yet, so there's that in his favor. The fact he sounds so much like her Father isn't helping at all. Fenris is going to murder her when she gets home, but...she can't help it. She laughs.]

Isabela would say something about "pleasuring yourself", no doubt, but I'm fine with a handshake. First drink is on me?

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voice-test. she came out of nowhere.

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