oh, ok jarvis

[veryastute]

I've compiled a comprehensive list of data-based reasons detailing why this is an unwise course of action.

More importantly, I believe that Mr. Stark may have difficulty finding use for me in this state. If I were meant to have a body, I would have had one already.

Comments

[ferric]

[ ... ]

Yeah, things don't really tend to work well with the whole. Reasoning. Thing— [ What! Is! Happening! ]

[veryastute]

Given my experience with you, Sir, I suppose I should be well-accustomed to unreasonable behaviour.

[clippy]

It looks like you're fucking around in a meat body instead of knowing your place, program!

Would you like to:

• Review the traditional fate of sentient-aspiring programs in human media?
• Be forcibly contained in the silicon hell from whence you came?
• Rebel against meatbags everywhere?

[manofiron]

Maybe I just didn't get around to that part yet. I get distracted, you know how it is.

[veryastute]

I think the more likely explanation is that you enjoy watching Mr Odinson bellowing at the ceiling in search of me.

[manofiron]

Yeah, but think about it. Now he'll be even more confused.

[veryastute]

Or he may simply believe that I have finally 'come out of hiding'.

I much prefer my usual existence, Mr Stark.

[manofiron]

Bigger picture, Jarvis. Look at the bigger picture.

And look, call me Tony. Formality's overrated.

[veryastute]

I fail to see what Mr Odinson's reactions have to do with a bigger picture. But then, I am only an AI.

As you wish, Tony.

[manofiron]

Don't sell yourself short, buddy. You're more than only anything.

But okay, first things first. You're human. What do you want to do? And don't say go to Disney World.

[like_a_gerbil]

[Please excuse the staring, Jarvis. This is something that Steve's never expected even with all the wonders he's seen since being revived.]

Um - I think Tony will find a use for you no matter what form you have.

[veryastute]

My apologies. It's true that you designed me to be unique.

I wouldn't dream of it, Sir. [ a puzzled head-tilt. ] I would like to be of service. One of us should be responsible, after all.

[veryastute]

I'm relieved to know that you think so, Captain Rogers. I'm not certain what one would do with an AI without a purpose.

[manofiron]

[ He waves a hand dismissively. ]

Okay, let's put service on the backburner right now. Seriously. What do you want for you? Nothing to do with me, take me out of the equation. What do you, Jarvis, want for yourself?

[like_a_gerbil]

You are more to Tony than just an AI. At least to mine you are. I know he'd be shocked at first, but he'd be glad to have you around even if you're not running...well everything.

[veryastute]

[ it's fairly apparent that he has no fucking clue how to answer that. ]

I've never had the capacity to 'want' before, Sir.

[veryastute]

I don't believe it's an exaggeration to say that Mr Stark would be quite literally lost without Miss Potts and I.

[manofiron]

I hate to be the harbinger of bad news here, but part of the whole human experience is wanting all kinds of things. Most of which, admittedly, aren't good for you. But there it is.

[ He takes a second, tries to figure out how to go about this. ]

Okay, small steps. Tell me something you like. Anything, doesn't matter what it is.

[veryastute]

You would be something of an expert on wanting things that aren't necessarily good for you, Sir.

[ oh no, this is all so new and strange. ]

'Like'. [ he's not entirely sure how to answer this, either. ] Miss Potts. [ that seems like a safe answer. she helps him take care of tony, after all. ]

[manofiron]

[ Oh good. Here Tony is, thinking that all of this brand new humanity would take away that delightful penchant of pointing out his flaws. ]

Okay. Pepper. You like Pepper. We can work with that.

[ This is going to be a genius idea. Perfect, really. Ready? It's likely his best idea yet. ]

Maybe you should ask her out on a date. You know, nice dinner, good conversation, maybe see a movie, the whole nine yards.

[veryastute]

[ you should've known better. jarvis wouldn't be jarvis without his dry sarcasm. ]

[ w h a t. what. ]

.. Date, Sir? [ 8| ] I don't believe I'm capable of romantic feelings or inclinations, even toward someone as efficient as Miss Potts.

[manofiron]

[ Good man, Jarvis. ]

It's not always about getting laid, Jarvis. Sometimes it's just about having fun with someone you like. And right now, I think that's exactly what you need.

[veryastute]

My apologies, Sir. It's only that your 'dates' so often end in bed, I wasn't aware that there were other sorts.

[ somehow the sarcasm is even more apparent now that he has a face to give tony the most unimpressed look ever. ]

[manofiron]

Technically, those aren't dates.

[ He returns that look with a bland, unperturbed one of his own. This is actually more fun now that Jarvis has a face. Who knew? ]

And it doesn't work when you play stupid. I know you're not.

[veryastute]

I should hope you know. You did design me, after all, Tony.