dear_mun | (no subject)

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Look -- ma'am -- I don't know what's going on here, if this is some kind of weird hallucination from being knocked out cold or some weirdo reaction to drugs at the er or whatever - but I don't have the time to hang around here. No offence but if this is actually the inside of your head, you should get help. And I have a promise to keep.

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Yeah - I know.

[And even if he's imagining him, it's creepy to see an older guy talking about his Mary like that.]

[Not creepy man, it's love.]

And make sure she gets a real wedding, too. Not some courthouse thing wherever you land this time. She deserves better than that.

[Creepier and creepier.]

This time? The hell are you talking about?

Well, I don't know if you can do it different than I did the first time around, but you could try.

[It's surprisingly fun to creep yourself out.]

Wha -- [but he takes in the eyes, the nose, the shape of his face, the hair...it's not bad but seriously subconscious. Couldn't you make him look a little more impressive? Or is this part of the bring yourself down bullshit. Boy, he really is messed up isn't he.]

Very funny.

[Look into this face and despair, Johnny, because you don't age gracefully.]

Yeah, I know it's hard to swallow. Shit got bad after a while.

[Now he's completely convinced he's hallucinating this.]

Yeah? What happened, enlisted again?

[He snorts.]

I wish. But you and I both know the war was already over when you left.

[But it really didn't matter then, did it? He wanted to go, so fuck everything else.]

They're always starting somewhere. [But for him to wish for that again...what the hell did his mind invent for him?]

What then?

The only one really worth shipping off to after that was in '91.

[He was too old and on wanted lists by then, anyway]

You don't want or need to know. Only that, if you get back, treat Mary like a goddamn queen. Love your kids.

You tryin' to tell me you didn't?

[Because he is not above punching an old man.]

[And he's not above punching a kid.

Well, himself really. But he'd rather not dwell on that particular psychological field day.]

Not enough. You get too comfortable, start going out for drinks with your buddies instead of staying home.

And then it'll rear up and bite you square in the ass.

Not me. You.

[But his faith is shaken now, even though he won't admit it. That terrible fear that somehow this is real and this guy is warning him that he's going to lose the only thing that really matters to him in life.]

Did she divorce you?

She died.

[You wanted the bomb, young and naive John? You can have it.]

[Well that shuts him up. Only for a second though, and then he moves to pin older him against the wall if he can, while demanding answers.]

How? When? What happened?

[He lets his younger self push him against the wall. He understands what he must be feeling. After all, they are the same man.]

A demon. Nasty SOB with yellow eyes.

Cut the bull, there's no such thing.

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