(no subject)

[glitterjesus]

Look, I'm not one for bursting that fourth-wall bubble too often: I like it where I am, and I'm sure you do too, we're copacetic, I can deal. More than deal, usually.

But there's a point when your indecisiveness...well. Don't you have things you should be doing? Let's not get confused: I'm invested in the outcome as much as you are, even if "work" isn't exactly my forte. But when I'm telling you you're slacking off?

Any time you want to get to that so I can stop sounding like the overbearing adult here would be fantastic. Honestly, I'll have nightmares for weeks, it'll drive me to drink.

...More. It'll drive me to drink more.

Comments

[musagetes]

You can't be driven to drink more. You'll drown.

keywords B)

[glitterjesus]

So says you. Which, by the way, is wrong. I have never drowned in my life, not ever, I don't plan on starting now.

But now I have to do it. Just to show you. Because you are so wrong that I can't even find a word or hand gesture for how wrong you are.

pfft

[musagetes]

Then stay sober long enough to learn a few.

<3

[glitterjesus]

Nope, sorry, too busy proving you wrong.

[musagetes]

You can't if you're head first in a ditch somewhere, wasted.

[colubri]

Why, I've never known any of you old Greeks to be a figure of responsibility.

It's almost precious.

[glitterjesus]

Polly, there's this thing, called swimming? Maybe you've heard of it?

[musagetes]

It's Apollo, Dionysus. And of course I have. I don't see what that has to do with anything. You can't swim in a ditch.

[glitterjesus]

Look, it's not like I want to be! The whole disparaging parent-voice thing is not my style. So, hopefully, something happens, so I can stop.

...Any time now.

[glitterjesus]

Says who? Have you ever tried it? Because sometimes, Polly, I think you really just need to get out more.

[musagetes]

You can't swim if there's no water!

[glitterjesus]

Then how am I supposed to drown if there's no water? YOU MAKE NO SENSE.

[musagetes]

You can drink too much and die, brother.

[glitterjesus]

Cannot. I'm 99.9997% sure that's blasphemy.

[musagetes]

Idiot, how can a god blaspheme? Anyway, tell that to the mortals who have died from it.

[glitterjesus]

Do I look mortal to you?

[Dionysus, do you really want an answer to that?]

[musagetes]

Half-mortal, yes.

[glitterjesus]

[THAT IS NOT THE ANSWER HE WANTED, APOLLO.]

YEAH, WELL...UH...

I still can't drown drunk, that's stupid. So...there.

[musagetes]

Do you want the statistics? I'm sure Athena would be happy to provide them for you.

[glitterjesus]

Only if that means I can take a nap.

[musagetes]

Do you want to nap during one of Athena's...moments?

[glitterjesus]

Why not? She still gets to talk forever, and I don't have to listen to it. Happy endings were had by everybody!

[colubri]

Unlikely. It's been my experience that these mundane types are rather set in their ways.

Unless they're thinking up terrible things to put us through our paces, of course.

[musagetes]

Until she realizes you're snoring and she starts yelling.

[glitterjesus]

But see, the terrible parts are my favorite. She doesn't do them enough. I enable, and enable, and enable, because it's what I do, and it used to work so well! I don't know what went wrong!

[glitterjesus]

But I'll still be sleeping, that's the beauty of it, Polly.

[musagetes]

It's Apollo, brother.

[colubri]

Ah, so your skills of seduction have gotten rusty? Or perhaps she's gotten wise to your game. A pity, either way.

Either way, you really ought to leave the temptation game to my sort. No one does it better than us, after all.

[glitterjesus]

That's what I said.

[glitterjesus]

Woah. I'm still super seducey...seductive. Whatever. This is all on her.

What would you do?

[colubri]

I'd use some sweeter words, for starters. Not many people are fond of the parent voice.

[musagetes]

Why are you so aggravating?