homeless but maaaaybe entranceway maaaaaaybe

[speaksforthetrees]

I gotta say, cutie, I don't much get the point of this place. Not to mention, isn't this contraption you're tappin' away at kinda the sorta thing that gets trees cut down? Y'see where I'm goin' here?

Not to mention that livin' in a mansion ain't my style, really. If I even get a say in that.

...What do you mean the forest "kinda eats people"? You sure it ain't what's livin' in it? Cutie, you gotta think this through a little bit more. I can't speak for trees that wanna turn me into lunch, after all! Or, well, I s'pose I could but...

No, no, this ain't gonna work, you go on and play with some of your other dolls and leave me alone, you hear me?

Comments

[whichwayyoulean]

[There are a thousand things he could say or do right now. Some of them might even involve shouting or quiet but very, very sincere apologies. He'd thought about it over and over, what he'd say to the Lorax if he ever saw the forest spirit again. What ultimately comes out isn't what he was planning at all]

Someone might mistake you for a rare poodle.

Or a talking, furry footstool.

[speaksforthetrees]

[The Lorax just kind of. Tilts his head.]

They could, but I wouldn't let 'em stick to that assessment for very long. Why, was that what you thought? Is the mustache not bushy enough or somethin'?

[thneedifestdestiny]

Okay, first of all - it's just a computer thingy-ma-bob. It doesn't cut down trees or anything, and you'd get stuck with one too if you came to Wonderland. This place isn't going to let you get away with using smoke signals or whatever to send messages to people.

But more importantly, no. No way. You are not showing up in Wonderland the second I open up for business! I've got a whole new crowd of Thneed customers here, and you're just going to come in and wreck everything.

[squeak_squeaker]

Ohh... I kinda want to pet you! ['Kinda' was Kronk for 'I really, REALLY have to pet this thing!']

C'mere, little buddy!

[speaksforthetrees]

But don't it come out of one of your humongoid factories? Gotta make room for it somehow, don't you? Not to mention all the muck and yuck it spews out into the rivers and the sky...

And what are you usin' to make those thneeds, huh? I thought only truffula trees would do!

[whichwayyoulean]

If it got any bushier it'd need planning permission.

[He lapses into silence again] So. You're back.

Didn't think you would be, really.

[speaksforthetrees]

[The Lorax leans away.]

Uh. I'm gonna have to say "no" to that one, buddy.

[speaksforthetrees]

Depends on your definition of "back", I suppose. Why, you miss me?

[squeak_squeaker]

You don't want some petting? Huh.

[Kronk was just... stealthily poking the mustache, now. Discreet.] What kind of little fuzzy baby animal are you?

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, well. Those factories aren't here. Besides, the Wonderland ones are probably just magically made. A lot of things here are.

[He looks kind of sheepish about that last question.]

Well, of course only Truffula trees will do! But, since there aren't any here, I struck a deal with...someone [or something.] And now I have some Truffula tufts to work with, at least for now! And I didn't have to lay even one little finger on my ax.

[speaksforthetrees]

[The Lorax hesitates, then shakes his head.]

No, no, no. That sounds fishy. Either you're coverin' somethin' up or you're not gettin' the whole story from them.

[speaksforthetrees]

[The Lorax swats his hand away.]

I'm no baby, Muscles. Not by a long shot. And the animal thing is kinda an even harder question to answer.

I'm The Lorax, though. I can give you that.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Why does it have to be either of those things? Why can't it just be that I got a really great deal that's best for everyone? Hmm?

[whichwayyoulean]

[Horribly]

I've had fewer migraines from your constant rants. [Not that you have anything to rant ABOUT any more, but that's besides the point]

[squeak_squeaker]

I'm The Kronk! Uhhh. I'm a Kronk. [Scratching his large chin, thoughtfully.] I bet there's other Kronks out there.

...you probably shouldn't go into a forest if it eats people, The Lorax.

[speaksforthetrees]

I wouldn't call them constant. Perhaps "moving" or "thought-provoking".

[speaksforthetrees]

Because magic and nature don't work that way, Beanpole. You can't make somethin' out of nothin'.

[speaksforthetrees]

That's what I'm tryin' to tell Cutie over here. She ain't exactly listenin', though.

[squeak_squeaker]

HEY CUTIE. [...weird name.]

If...uh. If you send that little guy over to that... forest place... you won't get any Kronk hugs. Ever. [Nervously fidgetting with his shirt. Kronk wasn't used to talking back to important people!]

[thneedifestdestiny]

Weeeeeell, I'm pretty sure that's what happened here, unless you earned a PhD in Wonderlandian logic while I was gone.

Besides, it's not like I got it from nothing. I paid for it fair and square, and capitalism works exactly that way!

[gentleman_thief]

If it makes you fell any better, the machine that your mundane is using actually made it so less trees are cut down.

[speaksforthetrees]

I still call fishy. Straight up humming fishy.

[whichwayyoulean]

...Nope. Pretty much constant. Like the background noise of a washing machine.

[speaksforthetrees]

[Oh goodness. The Lorax just snorts.]

I appreciate the effort. But if she ain't listenin' to me, so why would she listen t'you?

omg i need to play those games so bad sob

[speaksforthetrees]

You sure about that, Mr. Private Eye?