dear_mun | (no subject)

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canon: el shaddai

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Now, let us stop putting ourselves down, shall we? You know as well as I do that it will not get you anywhere.

[You say that like it's easy.]

Perhaps it is not, but you will have your answer soon and should relax until then. Such worrying does not befit you and you would rather not end up with permanent wrinkles or having your face stuck that way, no?

[Shut it.]

Even that attitude is ever so endearing, you realize. Either way, be patient and try not to be too concerned about things that are not in your power to control.

[Creep.]

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Every mundane frets while they wait for applications to be judged. I've been applied to two games so far, and my mundane has never failed to worry.

*Right, uh. Taking the "pretend nothing is wrong" route just to test the waters. His mundane's throwing him at every canonmate she sees, apparently. ~~Now let's just hope Belial never shows up.~~*

I am coming to understand that.

[Luckily Sariel is in a decent mood today and also somewhat placated by their last conversation. Thus he's willing to keep things at the very least civil, though his front is still somewhat icy.]

Hardly necessary though.

Perhaps it's a learned confidence.

That is a possibility, though from what I understand she has always been like this. [Mundanes are strange creatures.]

It could be merely in their nature to fret about it, I suppose.

Not all mundanes, I believe. Ar-... *A painful pause.* Armaros's mundane never lacked confidence in his application. Or for any of those...after him.

An exception or two to the rule isn't quite so difficult to believe in. [Now if he could only get his mundane to believe things are going to be fine.]

It would seem speaking of Armaros pains you. [Just a small observation of course. His tone suggests that he's not going to push the issue.]

True...there are always exceptions.

*He averts his eyes.* You could say we rekindled our friendship. But he didn't come with me to the game I'm in when ours closed.

*Which is good because it's a horror game but he has no idea where Armaros is, if he's suffering too somewhere. If he's somehow wound up back in The Darkness. He looks back up at Sariel, knowing how hypocritical he must sound. He won't pretend the situation is something it's not, though it may not be what it sounds either.*

[He could have many comments on that, had he been in the mood to give them. But as their communications so far has been without argument, he's open to keeping it that way for now.] ... I see.

[...] And not having him there is what pains you?

[He... Doesn't really get it. Personally he got angry whenever his lovers or children were endangered or injured or taken from him, but... To feel this way over being separated from someone who's a friend he can't truly understand.] Well, it is perhaps a bit unorthodox, according to my mundane as well, but the Armaros over in this 'headspace' seems to desire to console you.

[At least he thinks that's what he wants. He's not too good at reading the other's moods to be honest.]

I could relay that much of a message at least.

Tell him thank you. *He pauses, weighing his words. He needs some time if he plans on speaking like this, used to only a few sentences at a time, at most.*

It isn't the separation so much as the not knowing he's safe. I'm not certain I'd want him to join me, but the 'canon point' where he was taken from...he was trapped in The Darkness. I'd rather be certain he hadn't returned there than to have him with me, if they could be separate ideas. The game I've found myself in now is...it's horror-themed.

*Enoch is glad he doesn't seem to be violent. This isn't an emotional state he wants to be fighting in.*

I have been told 'canon point' is relative, though I suppose even if you know that here, it doesn't help you much in the game you're stuck in. [Is he really going to do this?

Speak to Enoch of all people on a friendlier term? He supposes so. He's not feeling particularly angry or upset or anything, so why not.] ... You should know that Armaros is more than capable of looking after himself.

[Fallen Angel out of his element? +1 indeed.] How does it go again...? Where there is a will, there is a way?

[Let's go with that.]

No, I...I knew where he was because he told me in our old game. And the game I'm in allows for transplants...

*He shakes his head. The words come out quickly now - he was raised as a priest, and even though his childhood and adolescence were centuries past, it was part of who he was.* You've never been near vileness, have you, Sariel? Vileness tears open all the doubts in the heart - I find it difficult enough to move when only near it. But Armaros...he was submerged in it. For years...

*He averts his eyes.* That is why I must know he hasn't returned there.

[He did make a point of avoiding it, but he thinks that's sort of besides the point here. So instead he lets Enoch speak his mind, listening to what he has to say instead and coming out...

Not really getting it still.

Shouldn't be too surprising, considering how empathy was never one of his strong points.] I shall hope then, that he has not.

[There isn't much else he can do, though that much is genuine. Armaros is still, if nothing else, an ally.] And that there will be something that allows you.... Peace of mind.

[Niceties. He's picked up on some of them. He is doing his best to at least sound sincere though, even if he can't quite put the emotions that are supposed to go with those words behind them. He tried at least.]

*Enoch hears it, that not-quite-sincerity, and appreciates the attempt. He knows from traveling for so long with Lucifel and the others that angels weren't the best acquainted with empathy. But that Sariel is even trying...he thinks surely it can't be any mistake that he still holds some sense of loyalty to God, from what he said when they first met in the Tower.

Unlike Sariel, empathy is one of Enoch's strongest traits. And through it, he...thinks he understands Sariel's intent. Or perhaps its very strength has only skewed the way he hears Sariel.*

Thank you. *Pause. What are the words...* It must seem wrong of me, to talk like this.

[He tilts his head at that.

Wrong? Was it truly wrong? No, he doesn't think so. Maybe from a certain perspective, but it's not like it's horribly unknown to him or unfamiliar..] No... It's very...

[What's the word he's looking for?] Human.

[Sentimentality. Sadness. A desire to know that your loved ones are safe. Very human indeed and he's not surprised. Not being able to truly relate, and not being able to recognize things for what they are are two very different things after all.]

*Enoch is silent for a moment, before he nods. Sariel may not have the favor of the Freemen the way Armaros does, but he cannot be called the same as the likes of Azazel.

So there's a bit of a smile there, wan and uncertain.* It is...but it could also be hurtful, and for that, I'm sorry.

[The smile is responded to, though Sariel's is tight-lipped, and partially forced.

Ah yes. There is the issue of his lovers, which this conversation definitely has reminded him of a few times, though he's been kind of trying to go around that issue and not get into it for fear of losing his cool.] It's quite alright.

[... It's better to just leave it at that.]

*He knows. He knows full well that it could have been avoided, if not for the guilt that gnaws at him.

Knowing not to press it further, he nods in response.*

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As I eternally sit here and wonder if I'm doing okay ;A;

I think worrying comes with the hobby, to be honest. He looks fine to me!

Seems like it... And thanks!

I've been playing Enoch here since about a week after the game's release and I still worry!