voicetesting a very annoyed and wordy muse

[humped]

Yeah, see, this? This is not cool. You have no intention on playing me. Like, literally none. Not second to none, not even a slight chance in robo-hell kind of none. This is just, completely, totally, no intention at freaking all to play me in any serious way what-so-ever. This is one of those sucky sort of situations, see? Like, you want to have fun and torture me, and I really, really do not want this at all. I literally cannot begin to tell you just how badly I do not want to- okay, no, you know-

Hey, listen, I mean, if you want to actually do something with me? Awesome. Cool. All for it. Just don't send me to some sort of freaking zombiepocalypse or desolate wasteland or multidimensional space-ship because I am practically getting hemorrhoids just thinking about it. My hemorrhoids are having hemorrhoids that's how bad this entire situation is. My dog could be getting hemorrhoids and it is completely all your fault. You are now the person who gave a dog hemorrhoids, so I hope you have fun with that. You... you dog torturer.

Yeah, huh, you like that? You are a bona fide animal cruelty supporter. Just by doing this. Me. Doing this to me, not-

[U G H] So that awesome thing in that screwed up head of yours? That super sweet sort of thing that you can do for me that won't label you as some sort of chihuahua punter? That'd be giving me my car and my girl and letting me go away into the back of your head where it's a little less crazy insane and torture filled.

You need help. Serious, honest to god, psychological help.