on RP partners, voices, and comfort zones

[lehnsherrs]

This is getting tiresome.

You were able to control your environment for so long, but now that you've been left behind, you need to shed your insecurity and join a larger world. If torturing me and others is so much "fun" at Bakerstreet, you could stand to find people that are more interested in assuaging your sense of self worth in a game. Confidence? I can't give you that. You're content to ignore or qualify every scrap of praise you've ever received, so between waiting for your courage or clinging to your crutch of a group, I doubt you'll stop burdening me with your neuroticism. Get on with it.

On a brief final note, stop waffling about staking your own claim on me if your colleague has all but abandoned me. Either commit or go crawling back to Charles, as children like you are wont to do.

Comments

[lehnsherrs]

[ A defensive bent enters his tone. ]

There is such thing as too much, that's what I'm getting at. Perhaps she's learned all there is to be learned from it, and if she hasn't, there are better and more qualified people to listen to her drivel.

[pietas]

And you are hardly qualified to listen, is that it? Perhaps that speaks to your insecurities, Erik, as opposed to hers.

[lehnsherrs]

Then I don't know what she wants me for except that she evidently wants to be more independent. I can't be expected to suddenly know the expert points of navigating emotional minefields, that's your area of expertise.

[pietas]

[eyebrow raise.]

The only reason why you say you defer to me regarding 'emotional minefields' is because you choose not to deal with it. And that neither solves your problems, nor hers, for that matter.

You are most certainly capable of kindness, Erik, I've seen it in you before.

[denial really isn't going to work against a telepath, erik.]

[lehnsherrs]

[ /deniiiiieeeeessssss. ]

I don't know how you can't see by now that it's safer that I elect not to. One pinprick does not make a guiding light, not even a modicum of the kindness that you think I'm capable of. She needs to solve her own problems and be stronger for it, Charles.

[pietas]

[rather patiently, because charles knows a storm when he hears it,]

You are putting defenses for what are, ultimately, automatic functions your body has been born with in order to help it survive, and are therefore unnecessary. Emotions are not useless appendages you can discard with as you please. Stop being a child about this, Erik.

And I insist on that modicum of kindness you deny, because not granting it exists in you means that friendship between the two of us isn't possible either. Do you deny that? If you can help Sean, you can most certainly help others as well.

[lehnsherrs]

I'm being a child about having to help someone who's invited herself into my head? I understand that you're accustomed to others pressing themselves on your mind, but that hardly means I don't have a right to my own thoughts and feelings. Or lack thereof.

[ Huff. Our friendship is different and you know it. ] I'm not a simpleton, of course I know they're there. And while you are condemning me for my methods and praising me for helping Sean in the same breath, you can answer whether I'm being childish or I simply know my own feelings well enough to be sure I can't be what she needs me to be.

[pietas]

No, Erik, I'm trying to tell you that you are being a child for not attempting to reach out to them and compromise.

[he's not going to dignify that jab with a comment, erik, because that is petty as hale. what he is going to reply to is:]

There's a difference between being a teacher and an educator, Erik. I can rightfully condemn you for your methods of teaching, because you every bit as inspirational to the children just by being your taciturn self. There is no need for actions that may or may not cause bodily harm onto the students themselves. What good will that do to them?

[lehnsherrs]

And I believe that's my prerogative, regardless of whether or not you approve.

[ Not the wisest decision he's ever made to rile Erik up, really, but for the sake of their friendship he keeps a lid on it. For now. ]

Neither of which I've ever claimed myself to be. You still seem to be under the illusion that I'm here for anything but killing Shaw, but if they wish to learn anything from me I'd rather them know that none of Shaw's men are going to politely stand there for Sean to scream apart. Learning to take bodily harm can save their lives.

[ It certainly saved his. ]

[pietas]

Is it your prerogative too, whether or not the two of us remains friends?

[yes he will continue to bring that up. as for shaw and you, well. he purses his lips at that, and then replies,]

They are not soldiers, Erik. Neither killing nor waging war will help them.

[lehnsherrs]

[ Blankface. That's cold of Charles, for someone that tried so very hard to broaden Erik's horizons. ]

As I'm constantly reminded, friendship is a two way street. If I thought you capable of letting it go over something so trivial, I'd not have bothered in the first place.

[ Somewhat softer. ]

Whatever you wish to call them, they're being used in a battle that may take their lives, Charles. Don't be so foolish as to think our enemies will see them as anything but trees to fell.