voicetesting | canon is the west wing

[magniloquence]

So, right off the bat I want to make it clear I'm not even contemplating this as a real option. It's not on the table-- it's not even in the same room as the table, in fact. This is a non-starter.

But all right, let's run the scenario so I can bring you around to my (and by my, I mean 'the right') conclusions.

So, you send me to space. All right, I'm space's first non-practicing Connecticut Jew. Bully for me. It's exciting for a few days, other than the sheer terror, but then... what?

Nothing, is what. I'm a beltway kind of guy, and the last time I checked your tin can on the edge of the universe wasn't holding free elections. They don't even have a governing body, and you have to understand how that hurts me. The death of democracy, laid in shards at our feet like so much broken glassware.

...No, glassware doesn't scan. Way too dramatic, this isn't Days of Our Lives. Anyway, my brief descent into Faulknerisms isn't the point. The point is that Star Trek fan or no, this isn't the place for me. Think about it-- they're not holding their breath waiting for a guy to come in and wheel and deal for the president they don't have.

Do us both a favor, just drop it. Or hey, send Donna. Always a viable option, making Donna do the things I don't want to.

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

A quick amendment, for the sake of the accuracy of your prior statement: it is not holding free elections yet.

[magniloquence]

I hate to be the voice of skepticism, but saying you're going to churn out a Ferrari when you haven't even built the wheel yet, politically speaking, is a little like trying to get the Joint Chiefs to issue a statement solely in Hendrix lyrics.

[jurisimpudent]

Why do you assume that we don't even have the most basic framework? I presume that was what your excessively metaphorical patter was about.

[magniloquence]

Just one reason? Okay, one: you have kings. Plural, as in more than one. Now, generally speaking, the monarchy tend to object to voting for people who aren't themselves. It's a common side effect of hereditary rule.

For fun, I'll even give you two. Two: you have no effective, generally proved to be fair and impartial lawkeeping body to enforce any elections that did end up being seen through the the end and held. I can elect myself King of the Situation Room, it doesn't mean I can waltz in there and start making calls on the big red phone. Without an adequate, above reproach peace keeping-- and in this case, order enforcing-- arm of your governmental body, elections may as well be jokes.

[jurisimpudent]

And those kings are far from in the majority. They can abstain from voting, or they can vote for themselves; that's no issue. The majority will rule.

As for your second objection...Might I have your name?

[magniloquence]

And to play the devil's advocate, Madison himself argued government in part exists to protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority. Brushing off any potential constituent from moment one is shoddy election strategy-- and really, it just seems like common sense in this case, when that section of the constituency habitually carries giant swords.

Josh Lyman. And yourself?

[jurisimpudent]

Miles Edgeworth. And what do you do for a living?

YES THIS

[coolerwithamerman]

...Oh dear fucking god.

[magniloquence]

I could be an orange seller and I'd still be right.

SCREAM YES.

[magniloquence]

Okay, now this is-- this is unsettling.

[jurisimpudent]

I'm not asking in an attempt to invalidate your assertions. I'm asking in order to understand precisely where you're coming from.

DID WE JUST BREAK THE INTERNET.

[coolerwithamerman]

[Yeah no. Hadley's older, hair a little grayer-a little heavier maybe but all the same.]

...Image changing sprite demon?

[magniloquence]

Fair enough. The full title is actually Josh Lyman, the president's Deputy Chief of Staff.

MAYBE WE DID.

[magniloquence]

[ p e e r i n g. ]

Oh, sure. I ran across one of those just yesterday, he told me he'd be by to give me an existential crisis about grey hair.

I was thinking psychotic break brought on by lack of sleep.

[symptomatic]

Isn't that what democracy is all about? Cheering for the little guy— or spaceship, or whatever?

[jurisimpudent]

...Sorry. President of...what?

[magniloquence]

The United States?

[jurisimpudent]

...Er. You're...

Well, that's...

[He clears his throat.]

I, um. I...see. That's...a position of some...prestige.

THIS IS SUCH WIN.

[coolerwithamerman]

[Hadley just-stares at him and laughs. It's a slightly manic laugh.]

NASA?

...You talk like the guys I used to work with.

[magniloquence]

That's the stump speech version. In the bullpen, politics is about picking the least horrible option out of a lot of godawful choices, to ensure the least amount of anger across the board when, inevitably, nobody's happy without the pony they asked for. It's also more about back room deals and favors owed.

It's only the really good days when the little guy even gets invited to the party, let alone is allowed on the dance floor.

JOSH IS JUST LIKE ...

[magniloquence]

Yeah, I never went to space camp.

...Did you used to work in politics? Is this a ghost of Christmas future thing, and I'm messing with myself?

[magniloquence]

I put my pants on one leg at a time, the same as everyone else who works for the most powerful man in the world and helps keep the country running.

[ josh. ]

[jurisimpudent]

[Hmph.]

There was no risk of me thinking otherwise, and I would advise you to check your ego, Mr. Lyman.

HADLEY DOES NOT BUY YOU ARE NOT SOME KIND OF GHOST.

[coolerwithamerman]

...The Ghost of Christmas future is an asshole who likes to suck out souls pal. It's not-yeah no.

[Did he just go there? Yes.]

[magniloquence]

I live and work in DC, arrogance is actually part of the job.

this is cr i never knew i desperately needed BUT I DO

[magniloquence]

Yeah, either we're talking about two different things or Dickens has gotten a lot more succubus-related since I last read any.

[jurisimpudent]

Is there truly any chance of you coming on-board the ship?

I am feeling same D:

[coolerwithamerman]

...I'm talking about the literal ghost. [he holds up a quick hand] and before you say "Literal ghost" and look at me like I'm a complete moron-remember you're talking to a guy who looks just like you.

[symptomatic]

And let me guess. Your hesitance is that there's no stage-floor on a giant sci-fi leviathan where nobody ever gets a pony?

[magniloquence]

Not if I get to put my foot down.

[magniloquence]

No government at all was my first objection, but a lack of scope for my skills is on that list as well.

[jurisimpudent]

Quite. We could use people with political experience.

bradley whitford YO FACE SIR WHY

[magniloquence]

Can I look at you like you're half a moron?

[magniloquence]

So you know-- if you're looking for leadership, I'm more a behind the scenes man. Find me a candidate or a senator to harass and I'm golden.

[jurisimpudent]

There is, in point of fact, a senator on board. Or a man who claims to be one, in any case.

omfg a Josh I could kiss you.

[percentaged]

[ The remark about Donna makes Pepper half-laugh; the joys of being a personal assistant. ]

You'll find that those in charge of us here rarely care about democracy, Mr Lyman. If they did we'd all be in tropical paradises or at least, not in tin can scenarios.

[magniloquence]

Does this mystery possibly-senator have a name?

SO MANY NERVES how do you even try and emulate sorkin. and sob apologies for any new muse fail

[magniloquence]

That's where I keep getting hung up. Not to beat the same old drum, but this is-- it's my life work, and ninety four percent of the things I talk and/or think about. Take that away, and I'm the bored guy in a corner who just wants to go home, and nobody wants to be that guy, because nobody likes that guy.

...Scale of one to ten, how pathetic was that? Because I was shooting for about a six or seven. I'm hoping if I bug her enough, she'll go away. Solid fourth grade tactics.

I'm trying to picture what Josh would do if he found out just what his other self does..

[coolerwithamerman]

Only if you accept that you're looking at you. Or someone who looks remarkably like you.

which would make you, an idiot by default.

sorkin is unequalable, no lie. but you're having a damn fine go at it!

[percentaged]

[ Oh percentages, the bane of her life. Except not. ]

If 10 is ultimately pathetic, I'd say you came in at a solid 5. Maybe 5.5 at the outside. Sometimes it's less about the details of the job and more about knowing that you're the only one who can do it.

[symptomatic]

I'm sure whoever's running the place could use some good PR. Or you could, I don't know, carve out a niche for yourself by electing a government. It seems like people would be really happy to see you around. [ A beat. ] Though I think that makes them masochists.