dear_mun | On the subject of a canonmate

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On the subject of a canonmate

You know, it's bad enough that you've dragged me into this game of yours but now you're enabling another like you to toss James in as well? Bravo. Really. I'm sure James will truly appreciate you interfering with his life. Yes, I'm going to make a point of telling him it's YOUR fault - why wouldn't I?

And, NO, I do not need Laura being brought along as well so stop fishing around for her. She doesn't deserve this sort of treatment ~~even though it would be nice to see her~~.

You have another application to work on. Stop meddling about in my life and the lives of those I consider friends.

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This maybe a shot in the dark but you sound rather stressed, sir.

When you have a typist like mine it's enough to drive a person to distraction.

I find it's easier to pretend they're not there, it somewhat returns the illusion of power. You should try it sometime.

I've tried it. She just dumps me into some other unpleasant experience or virus and watches the results.

Really? ... Well, I don't think I'm overly looking forward to what might happen next then. Any chance you know how to opt out of this at all, sir?

None. Although, to be fair, the game I'm in now is not nearly as bad as some of the others she has seen fit to dump me in.

Well, there's that I suppose. Still, it's not ideal, is it?

Not by a long shot, James. The community has a nasty habit of showing up at the worst possible moments and doing something that compromises your privacy.

Ah, wonderful, just what I was looking for, a place where privacy is shattered, can't wait.

I must admit, I'm not looking forward to this at all.

I knew you would be thrilled.

You're quite lucky I'm not pinning the blame for all of this on you.

You shouldn't be pinning ANY of the blame on me for this.

You wanted my company, which is flattering sir, personally I thought you'd opt for Laura.

Oi! Let's get one thing straight - my typist wanted you, I didn't!

[....]

Okay, so maybe I won't mind the company but it wasn't my idea.

[.....................]

What makes you say that?

[Oblivious Lewis is oblivious - even to his own desires]

Edited 2012-07-02 22:25 (UTC)

[He smirking cause he totally called this. He called it the first time all three of them were in the same room. So obvious.]

Of course, it was completely out of the blue for me to assume such a thing. It's not like there's anything there, is it?

[There is. It's so glaringly obvious that he can't believe you're still dancing around one another.]

I suppose it's best we don't drag her into this mess, don't you agree? I'm sure you'll suffer through with just my company.

[They're still dancing around it because Lewis is dense when it comes to relationships and he's still hung up on being a widower. Poor Laura is probably going to have to jump him before he really comes to terms with his feelings.]

Now, I don't think that's really any of your business, Sergeant .

[Grumpy, oh, so grumpy. Of course, he learned from the best how to be grumpy - Morse.]

Hey, I never said I was going to suffer! I was concerned about the rest of you. Do what you like - makes no difference to me.

[Such a liar and a poor one at that. Also, he might be trying to avoid looking James in the eye at the mention of dragging Laura in.]

Of course, sir.

[He really doesn't even need to comment on it, all he has to do is give that smug knowing look. Silently judging your inability to act on Laura... yet you have no problem chasing women who never ever good for you. Funny that.]

[GLARE

And he does not "chase" women. He just seems to attract all the crazies or women whose children he has to harass into telling the truth or women who end up being murder suspects or women who end up being murderers... OKAY, SO HE HAS CRAP LUCK WITH WOMEN.]

What's got you looking so smug, eh?

[He gets the feeling that somewhere Morse is laughing.]

[Your luck is worse than his and his is not any better. Really, the scoreboard for the both of them is rather desperately lacking. Perhaps they shouldn't risk dating at all? IT ALWAYS ENDS IN NEAR MURDER!]

I'm not looking smug, it's just my face.

[He tries to appear neutral the best he can now, it's hard, it really is. Especially when Lewis just set himself up for these sort of things.]

[Dead bodies. Everywhere. This is why neither of them date - Oxford already has enough dead bodies as it is. This logic is unquestionable.]

I'm sure that's all it is.

[This look? The look currently on his face? That's the look of a man who knows he is being conned.

He really does set himself up for all of James's teasing. His logic works as follows -

-Dead bodies? Whatever.
-Suicides? Next.
-Bondage and kinky sex? Yawn.
-Discussions involving Laura Hobson? FLAIL.]

[It's honestly remarkable how easy it is to bait Lewis over the simple matter of Laura Hobson, he keeps it tucked away until special occasions. Bit like a secret weapon. Set him up and watch him flail!]

So this place we're going, how many women have you ... spoken with?

[He's just checking what work he has cut out for him. You know, jealous women, angry women, women who are secretly plotting his doom. Seriously, someone has to keep an eye out or they might both end up in the shit thanks to him. Wouldn't be the first time.]

Just curious, sir.

Edited 2012-07-02 23:41 (UTC)

Um...

[head-scratch]

I don't know. A few? Why?

[A genius of a detective but a complete dolt when it comes to the fairer sex.]

Never mind, just wondering.

[Quick subject change before he catches on? Good idea!]

Any detective work? I'd be nice to have a bit of a break, I imagine.

[Cue extremely puzzled look - he knows he's been had but he can't figure out how.]

I've been talking to different people - trying to figure out why this network thing picks people the way it does. I thought it was a virus on my computer at first but it's too weird even for that.

It's a frustrating place sometimes and not for the privacy invasion it poses. I mean, you see things on the network sometimes that you want to intervene in but you can't because what you're seeing is happening in a different world. You have to have a 'worldhop' to get there and those are hard to come by.

[And now Lewis sounds completely barking.]

[James is only slightly sort of staring at you like you completely must of lost it at some point. What? It wasn't what he was expecting to hear. He'd has his fair share of odd today as it was.]

I'm sorry, worldhop?

[Oh, Lord...]

A worldhop is pretty much what it sounds like - you 'hop' into a world other than your own. The... network thing connects different times, places, realities - that sort of thing - and if you want to visit one of these other places you have to find someone who has the ability to travel through time, space, and dimensions.

[God, this is not helping to make him appear mentally sound.]

It's like one of those online communities - a community posting board of sorts. You don't have a choice when you post, though, most of the time. The community turns on at will and shows everything to anyone who might be watching the network right then. And the community picks who it connects to and who has the ability to move from world to world. I sat and had a conversation with a green or blue platypus wearing a fedora during my first days on the network. And, yes, it was as weird as it sounds because he just stared at me.

[He's staring at you. He can't help it, he's not sure what's more worrying here, the dimensional hoping or the idea of Lewis being on what sort of sounded like a giant online forum. He wasn't aware the man could probably work his laptop without his daughters prompting.]

A green or blue platypus in-- right. Sure.

[He's ... he's freaked out a bit. Cause the sense is not being made.]

Are you sure it just wasn't someones online avatar? Sometimes people post with pictures that aren't themselves.

[Hey! He knows where the 'on' button is... and how to play 'Solitaire' on it.]

What the hell is an 'avatar'? And this wasn't a picture - it was real! There's video and audio and text! This was a video. That thing was STARING at me.

[Pauses]

Okay, maybe it wasn't the platypus but I have seen one around on the network!

[OOC: And oh God I just realized it was NOT the platypus he was talking to - it was Ferb. D'OH! - http://dramadramaduck.dreamwidth.org/5734434.html?thread=461562914#cmt461562914]

Edited 2012-07-03 00:45 (UTC)

[That is not the same as being able to work a laptop, solitaire is always on the start menu!]

It's like an icon? Like a picture someone pics to represent themselves.

[So he was video calling with a man who looked like a platypus and this platypus man was staring at him... oh yes, this was entirely plausible from an outside point of view.]

... I wouldn't advise you spread this around. Even if it was a real video chat.

No, it wasn't anything like that.

[Oh, the frustration!]

I wasn't planning on putting on the agenda for the next division meeting.

Good, good, just making sure.

[He trusts Lewis not to make a total arse of himself. Not all the time. He only seemed useless when it came to dating and the use of modern technology.]

I trust you, sir.

((ooc: the idea of Lewis meeting Ferb makes me very amused. I just finished skimming the thread, so awesome!))

I do realize I'm a bit of a plodder, James, but I'm not that much of a plodder.

[OOC: It was a moment of awesomeness. Robbie was just so frustrated because this green-haired kid wouldn't talk. LOL!!!]

[Staaaaaaaaare.]

Right, yes, of course.

[Your slang takes some deciphering, he's still not entirely sure he's following here.]

((ooc: Bwaaaah! So much cool. Poor Robbie!))

Edited 2012-07-03 13:03 (UTC)

Slow. Dense. Obtuse.

Quite.

[He grins, he can't help it, he doesn't really think you're any of those things but if he didn't have you to mock, he's be rather bored.]

Well I'm not entirely sure what I'm getting into but my typist seems more than amused.

[James's life would be oh so dull indeed.]

When they are amused you should be worried.

Really? I'd of thought it'd be a good thing.... wonderful.

[Why must you keep unsettling James so? Is this revenge for calling him out on his inability to ever understand those who are not male? If so... touché.]

Not generally. I'm sure there's one oddball out there who actually means you well but I haven't run across one yet.

[Oh, perhaps... perhaps. It helps that it's true.]

My typist is slowly but surely handling the application so it looks like I need to just hope mine is that oddball? Wish me luck, sir.

Good luck, James. I hope you'll be luckier than I.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

On the subject of a canonmate

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This is beautiful

It is glorious

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DYING OVER HERE - I swear, Hathaway, Lewis hasn't lost it

Lewis is discussing MODERN TECHNOLOGY D: something is wrong here.

And after I take a moment to finish my laughing...

So much win

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OMG YAY