dear_mun | [Voice Testing] [Trying to find a place for bookverse Mockingjay.]

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[Voice Testing] [Trying to find a place for bookverse Mockingjay.]

[There is about five minutes of hard, cold staring. The young woman is leaning forward, hands on knees, scars old and new stretching over her face, her neck and her hands. Hands that look like they had bad burns, that skin was grafted back on. Yet that face still has a frigid beauty to it - like the woods in winter, or a bare mountain top crusted with snow.]

[Finally, she speaks.]

I'm Katniss Everdeen. I'm eighteen years old. I lived in District 12 until the war. I have no idea why I'm here, but if this is the revenge of District 13 or the Capital for what I've done, then you tell them ... you tell them ...

[Something burns in her eyes, something bright and hard and painful.]

They can't hurt me anymore. They've taken everything. Everything. [Her eyes waver, and go to her hands.] I don't care where they send me. It can't be any worse than where I've been.

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If you say things like that, someone is going to come along with the sole intent of proving you wrong.

[Puck, meet the cool assessing gaze.]

It won't be the first time.

[ Like water off a duck, bb. ]

Nor, if you keep inviting such idiocy, will e'er it be the last.

[She's slightly unsettled by how he doesn't seem fazed, but it's only in the pressing together of her lips.]

I don't care.

[Mullish? Always.]

There's nothing left in here - [ and she taps her chest] that really cares about anything out here. [And she gestured one hand around the area.] I'm already dead - body hasn't caught up. Yet.

You're trying to get her to send you somewhere horrible, aren't you?

[Peeta looks like hell, but the burn scars aren't on his face yet. His hands are raw from the shackles that were just taken off, but his eyes are that same clear blue they were before the venom took over him.]

You're still alive, though. They can still take that.

[The stance changes - startled, at first, that only comes across in her eyes and then her body straightens like a branch being released. Snap, spine rigid, her jaw tightening.]

[Then she looks abruptly away.] ... Go away, Peeta. You're not real. Not like that. Not anymore. [Oh god that hurts to say. Like a burn that never, ever will heal.]

[That smile Artemis sees? It's almost sad.]

No they can't. Not if I've already given it away.

What does that even mean? And trust me, someone out there can figure out a way.

[He knows how to handle this, even if he's going to get punched for it. He reaches over and puts his hand on her shoulder.]

Katniss, I'm real.

[It feels real, that hand. So real. She closes her eyes and she can feel that hand through her clothes, almost see the golden touch of his eyelashes and eyebrows, and those blue eyes that never lie. Never hurt. Not until they took that Peeta away.]

[But that Peeta was gone, along with the Gale that would never hurt innocents and little Prim, scared Prim, growing Prim, Prim the Ducktail.]

[So she shifted back and swung, even if she believed she was swinging at empty air, her words gritted together.] I said. Go. AWAY.

[Her eyes have a strange, fierce glint - fierce and proud.]

I put an arrow in her. Right through her head -- and he laughed ... he laughed as blood spurted out of his mouth. One, two shots, and I fired both. I killed them both and now they're going to kill me.

[She closed her eyes, teeth gritting in hard.] It was worth it. Giving it away after I lost them all. It was worth it - all of it.

[He does his best to avoid the punch, but he's not trying too hard. Just trying not to get his teeth knocked out. The fist connects directly with his jaw and he twists to soften the blow. He turns back around rubbing his jaw.]

Convinced?

[Her fist connected with bone and skin and blood and her eyes open wide as she took back her hand, and stepped back. She cradled her hand because Peeta's face was as hard as granite, even those his eyes were as soft as flowers.]

[She stared for a moment in silence, before she croaked hoarsely.] It's never real. How are you real? How do you not hate me?

I've never hated you. Not deep down and not really, I don't think.

[He's been trying to figure it out since he went off on his own.]

[ Puck just smiles at her... kind of creepily. ]

Of course you don't. Everything you've said thus far has been about you. Why should your death be any different?

No, it wasn't real. They put the hate in your head.

[Her voice is quiet, almost a whisper. She keeps her distance, because it's habit now, and it didn't used to be. She used to want his touches more than anything, but she can still feel his hands closing around her throat.]

I miss this you. [Sadness, in her voice and in her face.]

[She looks away, because the old guilt is rising like water from a spring. She hates him for that, even if she can't deny it.]

I'm the only one left. I can make it about me, for once. For this. I've already given my life for all of them. [Peeta. Haymitch. The Districts. Father. Mother. Gale. Rue. Prim ...]

I think you short circuited something when you kissed me. I'm not better, but I'm working on it.

... I miss you.

[She swallows hard at that, pushing hair out of her face.]

...You short-circuited me to begin with. So fair's fair, baker boy.

[He can't help the soft and small smile that crosses his face.]

I only ever meant to keep you safe.

[He supposes that he failed at that. The thought turns his smile into a frown.]

I'm sorry.

[She folded her arms over her chest so tight that she could feel the squeeze.]

I know. I tried to do the same - just - with everyone outside, and just you ... you on the inside.

[She pulled one arm away, reaching for a moment, before jerking away again.]

You have nothing to be sorry about.

I'm, I'm glad I was there though. You might have died in the bombing otherwise.

[He reaches out to her, his hand brushing away stray strands of hair from her face.]

[She looked at him, her gaze resting on his finger tips. She can feel his calluses draw across her skin, and she can smell the sugar and flour across her skin.]

We're stuck in a circle, you and I. [Her gaze softens, and her heart slows. This is Peeta - and if he snapped her neck now it would be worth it because he had that look in his eyes again.] Always risking each other's lives to save the other one.

[Then she frowned... ] The bombing? How did you know -- ?

You said something like that before.

[In the back of his mind he wants to kiss her. There's another part that screams that she's his enemy, that he should kill her. He's getting so much better at pushing it back now though.]

People talk. They talk when they think you're not listening.

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[Voice Testing] [Trying to find a place for bookverse Mockingjay.]

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Not THE Puck?!

the one and only~

I'm almost feeling Shakespearean...

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HI YOU!

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HI YOU BACK!

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there are worse things!

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Re: there are worse things!

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