dear_mun | making googly eyes at towerofanimus (spoilers in the comments!)

... You have got to be kidding me..!

[/STABS THE EVERLOVING POO POO OUT OF YOU]

[Her expression doesn't falter much (a slight widening of those blue eyes, a thinning of her lips) but her voice does noticeably drop about ten degrees.]

Unfortunately, they seem serious.

You should be happy you get to go anywhere at all, shouldn't you?

Of course they do, they always do..! [ he's this close to just generally flipping off the handle, really - the last person he wanted to see, especially in that place.. ]

It's because they're fucking sadists, that's why! I can't believe this shit!

M-maizono-san?

[On one hand he is glad that she's alright. But on the other hand he's more concerned that she's going to be there in the tower with the others and suffering from whatever the admins have in store.]

You sure you want to do that? Don't know if it's better or worse than that fucking school.

[He's not so worried about the attempted murder thing (obviously......) but, well, for one it's dangerous for her, and two, Leon will flip the gently caress out and he'll probably have to deal with the bitching :I]

Mai-Maizono-san!

[A hard little truth makes itself very, very clear to Sayaka very, very quickly: something nasty will happen if Leon loses his temper. Doesn't she know that better than anyone? She has to be the calm one here, just like always - regardless of how it makes her so sick just to look at him, to hear his voice, after everything that happened. Because of him, she died; because of him, her plans were ruined. Even so, the seething resentment she feels for Leon just barely manages to draw level with her own self-loathing, and the result is an odd sort of equalizing effect. It's strangely easy to keep her composure from unraveling, even as those negative emotions swell up inside her head like an awful gray balloon.]

The application isn't in yet, so....he might change his mind. He's done it before.

[A lie fabricated merely to thwart Leon's temper, but a skillful one all the same.]

Should I?

[It's asked quietly, the edges rough with a faint tiredness. Maizono doesn't want to go anywhere unless it was home, back to the idol business and the family she had painstakingly carved out of it. And if that was beyond her reach despite all her struggles and selfish behavior, well....better to go nowhere than have to face the aftermath of what she did. Leon was there, after all - and so was Naegi.]

I'd trade places with you if I could. Is that what you want?

[ffffffuuuuuuuuu]

Naegi-kun? I-

[She should apologize, but the words don't want to come out. Not yet, anyway. And saying "I'm glad to see you again", while true - it'd just sound so shameless, almost like an insult. So after a moment, Sayaka just offers a weak smile.]

...yeah, it's me.

It's not like I really have any choice, though, do I? Believe me, I'd rather not go. [...] Even if it is better than Hope's Peak, I doubt it's by much.

[a) leon sucks and b) deal with it!!!]

Fujisaki-san...? Ah- [too moe, can't handle] -hello.

[wow that was lame, stop being lame maizono!!

and do excuse her for not being around for LE REVEAL, she was busy being dead]

Edited 2012-06-11 19:45 (UTC)

[ Unfortunately it's difficult for Leon to suddenly go back to a more calmer state once he's worked up - but at least it serves a little to keep it from getting worse. A little though, since just being faced with her is enough to stir feelings in him he doesn't particularly want to think about. It's just easier to give in to just the rage, the strongest and most instinctive one. ]

Like hell he'll change his mind! I know the way these muns work, it's practically for sure now..! How am I supposed to deal with this?! [ of course it's 'I', he's normally already egocentrical and taking her feelings into account in this case would be even more difficult and a minefield he doesn't want to approach. ]

Nah, they suck pretty equal either way. You should probably keep away if you can, but those bastards always make you do it anyway, huh? Just don't let Kuwata see you.

Maybe it is.

[Celes pauses, fiddles with her hair. Honestly, she'd rather go home than anywhere else too - she has a dream to chase, after all.

But if she has to stay here, if she can't go home just yet - then why waste her time idling when she could be doing something else? It's only fun to laze about if someone is waiting on her, and in her current situation, there's no one like that around. Not even someone like Yamada, who she can bully and punish to relieve her boredom.]

...After all, I don't have anything to be afraid of.

[That's right.

Someone like Celestia Ludenberg...can't be afraid of anything.]

[Chihiro would be so flustered if he found out Maizono finds him moe...

And he's completely fine with her not knowing.]

Your mun is really going to be putting you... there? It's a very dangerous place...

[Not to mention your issues with Kuwata-kun.]

[it's okay chihiro she'll just stab leon again...wait that's not the answer]

Mm, I guess so. It's not very nice of him, but... [She shrugs a little, smiles calmly. It's fine - she's fine - everything's fine, or so Sayaka needs to pretend.] I'll just have to do my best, no matter what happens.

[She flinches just a little, and thinks about glancing away. Or would that make him angrier? Not that she can really bring herself to care about his feelings, but if doing that would make him explode...]

I'm not going to go looking for you, if that's what you're worried about.

[twitch.]

I'm not going to hide from him, Oowada-kun. If he wants revenge, well....that's up to him.

[There's a moment as Sayaka considers that, turns the words over in her mind. Then she regards Celes again, smiles at her, and for once the expression is allowed to be something other than gentle, patient or calm: it's deeply, intensely bitter.]

You know, I envy you. It sounds so nice, having absolutely nothing to fear.

[There's no self-pity in her voice though, no plea to be comforted. Sayaka has placed herself beyond such things, and maybe part of her thinks that Celes might understand. Not care, no, but understand, for haven't they both trampled others for their own sakes? Their fates are of their own making; there's no point in crying about it.]

That's-- [ .. well, it's part of it, part of him is still frightened over the whole encounter, but it's not like it's all of it. Having to face what he did and having to deal with Maizono being around, especially now he's trying to put it behind him somehow - he can't let another chance at life be wasted, after all - feels like something downright impossible. ]

.. retarded.. Just retarded, that's what this is! It's not like we can even avoid each other all the time, right?! And the thought of us two being in the same place is already fucking too much! [ by now he's only getting more and more agitated, it's inevitable. ] I don't give a shit about what our muns think, I'm not going to put up with this!

We talked about that. He's not into it. Just fucking scared.

[Even if Maizono had given Celes her most pitiful look and begged to be thought of kindly, would it have moved her at all? Would her constantly condescending gaze have flickered for an instant?

Of course not.

Because Celes does understand. Her whole life was ~~unlimited trampling works~~ built by making bridges out of others' backs. It just happened that one bridge didn't hold out. It wasn't anything to be upset about.]

It really is nice. Not being afraid of anything means I have no limitations, except the ones I build myself.

[She built her downfall herself, too. She pounded every single nail into her coffin. She didn't have a reason to suspect it was hers. After all, she'd just finished two beautiful coffins minutes before beginning work on the third. And so, she built another wonderful coffin, only realizing the truth when she began to fall into it, just a moment too late to regain her balance.]

...That sounds like I need to be afraid of myself, doesn't it? But that's silly too. I'm the last person who would do anything to hurt me.

[She says this knowing fully well that she sabotaged herself, however unintentionally - that she really did wind up hurting herself, and gives Maizono a reticent smile.

The idol may have removed her mask, but the gambler cannot wear anything but her poker face.]

[No! No more stabbing allowed...]

I-I will help you, Maizono-san! If you need any help there just tell me.

Edited 2012-06-16 18:48 (UTC)

And...what does that mean?

[Her voice is calm, but decidedly cool. It lacks even a hollow cheer, even the thinnest pretense of warmth. It strikes her just how much of a child he's being - not that she can blame him, or really begrudge him for it, because she's just as bad - but that impotent fury is beginning to grind away at her patience. Doesn't he realize that there's nothing either of them can do? At least he has the self-centered freedom of being able to scream into the void and so release his frustrations that way.]

What does it mean, that you aren't going to put up with it? What are you going to do? What can you do, other than get angry? I'm not happy about this either, but - it's pointless, Kuwata-kun, to act like we have any choice in the matter.

Of course there's something I can do! I'm just going to sit around and let them do this, no way! I can-- .. I-..

[ He ends up choking on his words, because in the end even Leon has to realise there really is nothing he can do or even she can do, as frustrating as that thought is. Not that it serves to cool his anger in the slightest. ]

There's got to be something..!

There's nothing.

[Her lips press into a thin, hard line. Maizono hates that word: nothing. It is emptiness, it is loss, it is inevitability. It is everything she despises and fears all wrapped up in a single string of letters.]

So just accept it already, Kuwata-kun. [She tilts her head a little and looks at him like he's some tiny, insignificant bug writhing and twisting under a microscope.] Or keep yelling and being angry, I don't care. It'll all end the same either way.

[ That look of hers only seems to make something about him twitch, to strike some part of him, a weak spot that only annoys him more. He really is nothing to her, is he? She called him out specifically to kill him, to her he's (in his mind) nothing, nothing at all-- ]

So I'm supposed to act more like you about it?! Am I supposed to supposed to not give any shits when I do, just because-- .. for what sake, even?! There's no use to that either!

You'll look less undignified. I'd say that counts as a use.

[An indifferent shrug. She turns away from Leon - although never lowering her guard, not for an instant - as if he's no longer worth her attention.]

I guess we're at an impasse, not that it was ever in our hands to begin with.

making googly eyes at towerofanimus (spoilers in the comments!)

spoilers what spoilers!!!

one day I'll stop joke-tagging you (but that day is not today)

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probably spoilers i don't even know

i like how you just left that joke tag there, cool, cool, imaginary stabs

mO_Om this is a placeholder though...!

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for all to see and admire!!

when everything is a spoiler, nothing will be

it's cool, it's cool

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can't even spell my own character's name, I quit rp

stabbed through the heart and you're to blame!!!

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it's a spoiler 20% of the time, maybe 30%

that's what the editing button is for

NOPE GOODBYE /jumps out the window

I give rayboo a baaaad name

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[spoilers]

have a half incoherent tired tag before i go to bed...

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[spoilers]

No!!!!!

mmm the rage of a ginger

god all of these threads are such moodswings?! i hate this!!!

you rayboo it

t-.. tsun...

giving me a tsunburn