dear_mun | Canon is Man's Best Friend

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Canon is Man's Best Friend

[Max would probably be more excited his mun remembered him, if she had plans for him. But being able to stretch his legs and shake off the dust is fine too...and that's just what he's doing, stretching with a wide yawn before shaking a ton of dust from his thick coat.

His good eye looks around curiously, the other white and unseeing in the nasty burn on that side of his face. Now what, Mundane?]

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Oh my various gods. You're so huge! Want some of my sandwich?

[Sandwich? Max tilts his head, studying her quietly and sitting.]

[She digs out one of the Subway sandwiches she just used her powers to lift: meatball.]

Actually you're so big you should have the whole thing. [She unwraps it, making kissy noises.]

[People and their cute noises to pets...though if the sandwich is good he'll gladly overlook it and pretend he's mostly nervous. The meatballs do smell very good.

Moving closer, but not too close yet, he sniffs curiously. Understandable caution, considering the nasty burn over his face and open eye...besides, the last people food he was offered was poisoned.]

[She sees the burn and her eyes widen.] Oh man. Someone hurt you, didn't they? [She can't heal the burn or his eye but she knows someone who can...someone very partial to animals.]

Here, it's good, see? [She takes a small bite out of one end and chews it. Then she sets the paper on the ground like a plate and lays the sandwich on top of it.]

[She's used to hanging around a talking cat, so she yaks away as if talking to animals is a normal thing.] Can't say I blame you for being cautious.

[That particular injury was actually the result of a cruel person...who was no longer living. The poisoning thing...that was his fault.

After she's taken a bite of the sandwich and set it down, his tail starts to slowly wag. That's good enough for him and he moves in to devour the sandwich...more or less whole and in a way more suited to a reptile than a dog.

He is listening to her talk though.]

[She's looking him over in a somewhat mother-hennish way now, because he totally glomphed that sandwich and along with the burn she's thinking abuse. Neglect. But she doesn't get too near.]

Whoever did this shit to you, I'm totally tempted to take the burn off your face and give it to them. Big guy like you should be Captain America's dog or something. Or the most kickass familiar ever.

[He pants softly, looking at her a moment, then he slowly lays down and rolls onto his back. At least he's not underfed at all.

There's no need to worry about the junkyard guy. Max made sure his death was quick and agonizing.]

Gods, now you're rivaling Vin Diesel in being intimidating and adorable at the same time. [She pulls out her cell phone, which looks a bit battered, and speed-dials someone.] Aaagatha? Look, I need one of your extra strength burn poultices. Huh? No, I'm fine. But there's this awesome huge dog here and he looks like someone put a torch out on his face.

...yeah, ok, of course I'll be careful. Yeah, I get it, if he's been through that he's got every reason not to trust us bipeds. I know your magic can do this. He doesn't have to be the Nick Fury of the canid world.

[Phone. He knows what that is and is completely quiet while she talks...watching her upside down the whole time.

Amazing how close she is to what happened too. But she's getting something for his injury? Maybe she's a trustworthy person then.]

[When she's done she crouches down near him and spreads her hands.]

There's only one way I can talk you into this, big guy. You could kick my ass but good. But if you get what's going on...well, maybe I can help you without getting my hands shredded.

[Her fingers twist in a strange gesture and start to sparkle blue. It's a temporary version of the enchantment Agatha Harkness used on Grimalkin.]

Anyway, I always wondered...what a dog would say...if he could speak English for a while.

[If possible, he goes even more still, watching her hands warily. Not sure of what she's doing. Rolling back over, he sits up again.]

Okay. Now, if I did this right, what I'm saying should be perfectly understandable to you now. And what you say should be perfectly understandable to me.

I'm Wanda, Wanda Maximoff, a witch and a mutant. I want to heal your face.

...so you understand me now?

[He tilts his head, clearly trying to figure out if she really can.]

It worked! Yes, I can. This is awesome. Hi there. What should I call you? [She bounces a little, excitedly.]

[His head follows the bouncing, but his answer is automatic and without thought.]

Max.

Hey Max. You catch on quick. Usually it takes four-legged folk a few minutes at least to sort out talking.

I've cast a spell on you. It will let you speak until the next dawn if you want to talk to any of us primates.

What happened? It's OK if you don't want to talk about it, but...that wound bugs me.

I was made to be different from other dogs. I'm smarter for my purpose.

[Laying down again, he exhales.] You mean my eye?

Made...? Oh...wow. You're a neogen? Wow, I was closer than I thought with that Captain America crack.

Yeah. I really hope you bit the living crap out of whoever did that.

Neogen? What's that?

I killed him.

Neogens are intelligent beings who have been altered genetically. Most have a human base, like Captain America or Spider Man, but not you.

Sorry I made kissyface at you. [Blushing now] Charming four-legged beings make me a little stupid.

[She blinks, and looks shocked for a moment, but then her eyes harden and she nods.] Good. You have the right to defend yourself.

I guess so then. I'm designed to be a guard unit that works without constant human supervision.

[He shrugs off the apology to all appearances.] Part of it was defence. Most of it was me being angry.

I...

I can't really stand in judgment of you. You see, I used to knock whole buildings down on top of people when I was angry. If someone burned out my eye I'd probably lose it now.

[A small jar appears suddenly on the ground next to Wanda, in a sparkle of light.]

Oh hey, she figured out the cream version.

It's probably a good thing I can't do that.

[When the jar appears, he turns his head to study it, nose twitching.] Is that what you asked your friend for?

[She thinks about it.]

You were a test subject. Captive. They gave you intelligence, but neither a voice nor opposable thumbs. Without knowing any specifics, even the implications of that would piss me right the hell off.

I was a captive for most of my life too. The first few years I got out, all I had was anger. Anger and revenge. I got lucky; friends taught me there's more to life. But sometimes, when I'm pushed, I still feel like destroying things. Or maybe people.

[She picks up the jar and unscrews it. It smells of jojoba and chamomile but sparkles as actively as Wanda's hands.]

This is from the woman I am apprenticed to, Agatha Harkness. She's a very powerful witch, and when someone gets hurt she makes things like this for them. Feel free to examine it before I try it out.

They wanted a breed of guard dog that was manageable but doesn't need constant human supervision. And thumbs are a little overrated.

Lori was my...friend when I left. She gave me a home and a promise to protect me. People like that are good to stay close to and protect...but why were you being held?

[Rather than investigate further, he has a sits patiently and quietly so she can work.]

I'm glad you found a good one. Good people have helped change my view of humanity some.

[She takes up the jar and dips her fingers into it, then goes to kneel next to him.] My father had me imprisoned when I was small. He thought I was too dangerous to be out in the world.

[She starts smoothing it on. It does not hurt, but tingles sharply as it starts to work.]

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Canon is Man's Best Friend

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Sorry, needed new icons.

it's ok!

=)

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