dear_mun | or is it dreamers? dreamwidthites? ... dreamwidthese? anyway.

( and now it's time for a very serious address. )

My fellow Dreamwidthians,

I come to you today not as stranger, but as a friend; not as the future first female president of the United States, but as a humble wanderer, as adrift in this sea of uncertainty as you might find yourself. But not for long. Because, you see, though the currents of discouragement are strong, and the foreboding fins of hungry sharks draw nearer, enticed by the open wounds of aimless fear, I find myself here: swimming towards a raft of purpose, and I invite you all to come with me. Together, we'll climb out of this swirling, indecisive ocean and into the welcoming rays of a new day and a new game.

No more treading water, Dreamwidth. It's time to towel off and take a stance against this homeless problem.

( regal manner evaporates with a shake of her hands. )

Or something like that, I haven't decided on the ending yet. Because depending on public interest, a raft might be too small -- maybe I should revise that. Would a canoe be better? There's also another metaphor involving a farm. Oh! And one with a train.

Is there a train-themed game? I still want to solve a murder. Not that I want anyone to get murdered. But if it had already happened when I got there, that'd be perfect. Maybe you could send someone ahead of me to make sure one happens -- no, you're right, that's a bad idea. Then I'd know who it is. Darn! Okay, put a pin in that. I guess any game is fine, really, just don't take me to that icky sex one.

Or anywhere without Ann.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh my god, they have sharks here? Where? I gotta fight a shark, Leslie.

[ yes, that was the point of this one. ]

Andy, the sharks were figurative. You can only punch them figuratively.

But... I can still punch them, right?

Yes! By bothering your mun until she fills out an application. You can think of the application as your fist.

As long as I get to punch sharks, it's cool. [ hang on, he's pretty sure he has BERT MACKLIN: FBI'...s (no caps there, he's not an idiot who doesn't know all fbi agents get their name in caps) sunglasses in a pocket. whipping them on: ] Because Bert Macklin, FBI, always gets his man.

Shark. Always gets his shark.

Who knows, there might even be a place where you can punch sharks literally. ... But I don't think you should go to there. ( sorry but she loves you, andy. she doesn't want to see you get shark-nommed. )

Oh, I think I could kick a shark's ass, Leslie. I don't wanna brag, but I get like super hungover and watch Animal Planet a lot.

[ because that is what shark fighting takes. a shlubby dude sobbing into a box of lucky charms (marshmallows only, natch. like, this is cheerios, box of cereal. andy paid for marshmallows, he wants marshmallows) after thirty second of animals cops. ]

[Oh hell no.]

This is my RP Nation now, lady. You can quit with the announcements.

Is it? I don't see your name on it, unless your name is Thaddeus D. Width. ( founder of dreamwidth. he was tragically trampled to death in the great migration late last year. so, so tragic. )

[He sighs. God, you NBC people, all so dumb.]

Look, Amy. I get it. They wouldn't let you on 30 Rock, so you went to the Parks show. It's okay.

Now back off.

My name is Leslie Knope, sir, and as a freethinking Dreamer -- no, that does sound stupid -- Dreamwidthian I am within my rights and the rights of the community to post whatever announcements I want, especially if they're very very inspirational.

Sorry, but if you're so up in arms about the issue of homelessness, you could donate your time to a charity instead. Salvation Army runs all year round, you know.

( blink. oh that's... the whole point. okay! )

Why would you want to do that when there are so many other places you could go? Like big mysterious cities or magical forests. Besides, I don't think April likes sharks. ( leslie actually has no inkling of april's opinion re: sharks. but if there's one way to persuade andy to not get himself killed... )

You can't be serious.

Oh my god, you're that comedy guy! I love you, man. I mean, I've never seen you, but I have friends and stuff who have? And they're super into it.

[ giant, guileless grin here. ]

Mr. Stewart, it's an honor.

[ ...what. THIS BODY IS A SHARK FIGHTING MACHINE. also: a cheeto eating machine. ]

I'm not very good at camping? And Ann said taking me to a mystery movie was like repeatedly hitting herself in the face, so I probably shouldn't ruin a whole city. Do they have other places? Like... space places? With sharks.

[Stewart.

STEEEWAAARRT!]

It's Colbert. Stephen Colbert. Jon Stewart is the Daily Show, just before the Colbert Report.

And also sucks.

Oh man, my bad, I totally thought you were one guy. Colbert Stewart. [ ...which is an awesome name sooooooooo ] Bandname, called! Colbertstewart. It's like two words, but one. I smushed it.

[...

.
.
.]

At least you know to put Colbert before Stewart.

Every waking moment of my time is dedicated to the citizens of Pawnee -- granted, often in the form of parks management, but I'm a fervent supporter of several associations including the Salvation Army, whose santas can be seen in the parks every year just before Christmas. And the rest of the year too, but usually sleeping in the slides.

I can and I am, very serious. I am A Beautiful Mind serious.

With sharks? I don't know. Isn't there anything else you'd be satisfied punching? Like a... Klingon or a little E.T. -- no don't punch E.T.

If you have such a homeless problem a place called Pawnee, whose parks you deal with, you really have no jurisdiction to speak to a Nation.

Boom.

And here I thought this place had potential.

Okay. So, watcha gonna do to pull of these grand schemes of yours?

OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO PUNCH ET.

[ his life: MADE. ]

or is it dreamers? dreamwidthites? ... dreamwidthese? anyway.

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i couldn't resist.

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HAHA o u gais you treat him so right <3

andy means so well. SO WELL. he's just a special, precious soul.

neutral milk hotel is my jam yo

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