O brother, where art thou?

[getsthelastword]

Cute. Real cute.

I hate cute.

And think about all of the opportunities you passed up in your haste to go fishing for a Stefan before reserves open. The possibilities are endless:

"Desperately seeking Stefan"

"Single, Italian vampire seeks dumbass little brother"

"Looking for Stefan in all the wrong places"

And let's not forget all the possible jokes about other characters in game looking for their brothers, whether it's a crazy Trojan or a Winchester or a Norse god.

But I digress.

Let's keep this simple, okay?

No.

Comments

[somanyadjectives]

That hurts a little, brother.

[getsthelastword]

Really? I was going for sweet.

[somanyadjectives]

I think you missed the mark a little.

[getsthelastword]

Did I? Where did I go wrong?

It was "dumbass," wasn't it?

[somanyadjectives]

That. And the whole thing just feels very negative. I don't feel wanted at all.

[getsthelastword]

Believe me when I say we'll all be a lot better off if you're not in the city that drives people to their darker urges. We already had one over-moussed vampire on a killing spree. I think two is pushing it. And I'm pretty sure honeyboy isn't going to let me pretend to kill him again.

[somanyadjectives]

Oh, so you found a replacement for Alaric, then.

[getsthelastword]

Well, you know how hunters are. They're completely interchangeable. Sometimes more literally than you would think.

[somanyadjectives]

Ric would probably be very hurt to hear that. I think he was under the impression you two were close.

[getsthelastword]

People make a lot of assumptions about me. Like that I'm a nice guy. It's beginning to irk me.

[somanyadjectives]

Sounds like you've been letting your humanity show, Damon.

[getsthelastword]

You have no idea how deeply stupid some of the people here.

I'm the head of the day shift at the Bete Noire Police Department. See if you can figure that one out without your brain splattering all over the wall.

[somanyadjectives]

... That doesn't sound right.

[getsthelastword]

Preaching to the choir, baby bro.

[somanyadjectives]

So why is your writer interested in me exactly? To come and burst everyone's bubble?

[getsthelastword]

Checks and balances. You're the yin to my very out of control yang. As they say in pop culture, "You complete me."

Or she just wants a few good laughs out of the whole Mystic Falls slash Fell's Church confusion.

[somanyadjectives]

You do have a pretty interesting mesh of people there. Though I'm sure Elena could do with ... your version of me, as oppose to the actual me.

[getsthelastword]

What makes you say that?

[somanyadjectives]

I've been a bit of a disaster as of late. She could probably use a little more distance.

[getsthelastword]

Yeah, I hear you're a peach.

My Stefan isn't exactly a saint, though.

So...Elena's pretty much just screwed?

[somanyadjectives]

That sounds about right. Unless she moves on to someone else.

[getsthelastword]

You make that sound so easy. You're a very cute boy, Stef.

[somanyadjectives]

A very cute boy who eats people in his spare time.

She's better than me.

[getsthelastword]

Well, yes.

That Elena of yours she's...well...she's something.

[somanyadjectives]

A good something or a bad something?