in which the muse steamrolls his own mun

[rockstark]

No. You know what? You're gonna sit there and listen, and I'm gonna talk. Do I look like I care about the fact that you're never gonna play me anywhere? Clearly that's not true. Here I am. I've heard the excuse for over a year now, okay? That old saw about having to drop everyone else to be able to do me justice and let me talk to every single person ever like you think I would.

Okay so maybe I would. Maybe. Not every single person ev-- do you really think I talk that much? I mean -- what? Non stop? I stopped for a second there, didn't I? And besides, mostly when I do talk, I'm talking to Jarvis, or Dummy, or Pep or Rhodey - you know. Either people I know have my back, or machines that I - hey, how about that - specifically programmed to. So stop thinking I'm gonna get right out there and start social butterflying. I'd find myself a nice cadre and just stick with that for the most part until I needed to start worrying about whatever idiot was getting in the way of the peace. Right? Right.

And don't even start with that "there are gonna be fifty billion of me around this place" thing. I know there's shiny new canon coming out. I'm excited too. I love seeing my face ten, twenty feet tall on a giant screen, it's great. Not gonna lie about that. But if I'm not going anywhere, what do you even care if I get a journal or not? Clearly you do. We went through what, five, ten usernames in the five-mile drive from work to here?

I'm gonna tell you the same thing I tell everyone, kid: stop lying to yourself. You may not think you need me, but you totally love me. You love writing me, you love picking me apart, you love the rush, and I don't care if you think you can keep it up or not, I'm not letting you sit on something that makes you feel good. Something feels good, you do it. If it bites you in the butt, you get up and you go "Okay, noted for next time". Doesn't mean you stop doing it. You just plan for the fallout next time. Believe me. I know. So I'm just gonna chill out here for a while, do my thing, help you with your massive to-do list, and be a damn rockstar. Even if you don't actually take me anywhere, I'll help you out. You need to have a little more confidence in what you do, beyond just saying you have it. Talk it 'til you walk it. I'll give you the words, you just get some killer shoes and we'll be good to go. You'll get what you want eventually, as long as you keep telling someone out there that "no" isn't in your vocabulary.

Thank you for putting the moonroof down and cranking the music, by the way. That was good. More of that and we'll go places.

Comments

[merchantofdeath]

I don't see how anyone could think you talk too much at all.

[wasp_stings]

No one thinks you talk a lot at all, Tony.

[And yeah Jan can't keep a straight face for that lie. So don't mind her giggling.]

[bloodedsakura]

You know maybe if you add in more words there people might be able to translate you Mr. Stark.

[Don't mind the girl fiddling with some mechanical part of her bike only half listening.]

STAARRRKS I am not sorry

[notalady]

You do talk a lot.

[hulk]

...Yeah, that's. Right there, proving you don't talk nonstop. Way to go.

[has_an_army]

How is it the more you talk, the more I feel a distinct urge to end your very existence?

[rockstark]

You're either a very considerate kinda guy, or you need a grant. C'mon, level with me.

[rockstark]

You know my name. Okay, cool. Just ... out of curiosity. How drunk was I the last time I saw you?

[rockstark]

I dunno, but I'll give you one for one. How is it that I don't even know who you are, and yet somehow I already feel this inexplicably strong urge to punch you in the mouth?

[merchantofdeath]

I'm a lobbyist.

I talk for a living.

[rockstark]

See that? I'm totally good at proving a point. ... I feel like I know you from somewhere. Or heard of you or something. Gimme a minute. It'll come to me.

[rockstark]

[all these pretty girls who know his name. yeah, see, mun? this was THE BEST IDEA.]

Translate me? Oh, come on. I can translate for them. I know French. A little Chinese. En plupart, le Francais. But really, nobody told me at the door I'd need an interpreter. You really think that's gonna be an issue?

BRING ON THE WINTER

[rockstark]

But I always have something to say. That's the important part. You ever hear people who just talk forever and never actually say anything? Yeah. No. That's not me. Never gonna be me.

[hulk]

[ doh darn it stark ] Sa-- That's sarcasm, actually. Since you obviously didn't catch it at first.

Me? I'm nobody. Don't strain yourself or anything, it's-- Doesn't matter.

[wasp_stings]

Of course I do. Where I'm from, we're teammates and you don't drink when were being superheroes.

[kingdom_of_song]

[claps]

That was worth the price of admission, that was. Makes a tear come to my eye, worthy of my own dear old dad, gone these last forty years.

[bloodedsakura]

[Well Duh, you'd have to have been hiding under a rock of born pre-20th century to know who Tony is.] Oh and can't forget you speak tech, which is a little closer to my language.

Pretty sure those who aren't hard wired into google translate will probably be there soon. Interpreters, well at least the ones I tend to get are flakes with most languages anyway.

[rockstark]

Oh, a lobbyist, that's nice. Must be working out pretty well for you if you've got time to come around and chat with me. Hey, how's it feel to know that most of what America needs gets shoved on the backburner because guys like you are pushing paychecks to slimeball senators who aren't doing the jobs they were elected to do, anyway? I always wondered about that.

[rockstark]

Wow. Uh, hey, whenever you end up going back there, can you say hi to Alice and the Cheshire Cat for me?

[rockstark]

Wait, so you're telling me English isn't your first language? You're speaking it pretty well from where I'm sitting. Where you from?

[merchantofdeath]

[See Nick Naylor, spokesperson for Big Tobacco, completely nonplussed by it all.]

Actually, I currently lobby against a good deal of senators. I'm a spokesperson for Big Tobacco, from cigarette companies right on down to your tobacco farmer.

Nick Naylor.

[Oh yes, he just extended his hand. Merchants of Death, meeting at last!]

[rockstark]

No, see, I got that. I got that, caught it, and then I threw it back at you facetiously. See what I did there? I catch it, you keep up, everybody goes home happy.

Culver. That's it. You're from Culver.

[wasp_stings]

Tony don't make me punch you.

[rockstark]

Oh, wow, hey. Applause. That wasn't even one for the investors, but I'll take it. Thank you. I'm here all night, or at least as long as she'll let me be before she cuts me off. Tip your waitresses.

Speaking of waitresses. Can I get you a drink? You know, since you've got such great taste and all.

[bloodedsakura]

Grew up in refugee camps in South America, parents were American, I just didn't speak it until I got back to the States. Oh and about a thousand years in your future.

Stuck in your time line though, which kinda sucks, the energy source I use isn't even on the planet yet. But thanks, I tend to pick up languages as easy as hand to hand combat.