dear_mun | After a meme left her scrambling to hide her feelings

Thanks for helping him, Natasha.

*small and still-tired smile* Thanks.

Like I said, it was the right thing to do. Never let a potential resource go to waste.

[She's in efficient, clever and complete denial]

No problem.

You look like you're doing ok.

Right...but that doesn't make me any less grateful to you.

[Which means, he'll do her the kindness of not calling her on that denial either.]

Save it. [Ever the agent.]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, some of it is still here, but I can usually catch it before I even form a full thought with it. ...not that I really know the words that describe it rightly.

Anyway. I, uh. *rubs his neck* Am also sorry if... for... ... for taking a specific route of pushing you. Back then.

You'll want to get that checked out, I can keep an eye on you. In case something happens; you relapse or something, I know how to deal with it.

Forget about it, it showed me you weren't yourself.

... there are people who can check out and fix the effects of... that? *brb, he'll be over here, bogglig over that*

Oh. *beat. Annd then one of his eyebrows climbs up* I see.

SHIELD, it can do that and more.

You would never have hit on me like that, it was tactless.

And you trust them to do something like that?

Oh. Yeah, no, I figure you're bone tired of just... being hit on.

I do. They have secret, but don't we all? Fury's a good man, he would help.

I don't even notice it anymore; I've had to use attraction to get close to a subject before. But it's not what, [Crap, what is she supposed to say now?] it's not what I've come to expect from you.

I'll... think about it. *no, he doesn't trust anyone to poke around his mind right now*

Ah. *small smile, even smaller than the thank you* It's not that I'm not attracted, dollface. Just so you know.

Your call; but if I see you acting strangely I won't hesitate to put you down, for everyone's best interests.

You are? [Why had she even asked?] Better you than whoever else was in your head.

And thanks again. *he means it, too. He'd rather... not be what he had been there, however briefly*

Ye-- *wait, waaaait* --ah. *details sifting in. Penny near.*

But I also figure, it's better to have somebody you can rely on. It's always difficult to find. Although it practically worked the other way around, didn't it?

*she kissed him back.

Penny drops.

... stop talking, Barnes.*

Like I said, forget about it, I would have done it for anyone. [Oh that's a total lie, she wouldn't have risked it for most of the people she's ever known.] You would have done the same, or tried to.

Relying on people is just setting them up to let you down. I knew you wouldn't kill me, and you were in there.

[She knew because she'd seen him, seen those eyes. Warm, comforting easy, eyes to fall into and be lost. And lips, soft and drawing entirely too much of her attention at the moment. Time to look somewhere else.]

Yes, ma'am. *totally serious* That I would have done the same, that is. *not the forgetting.

... and another moment of ~~staring~~ blinking at her in incredulity. Because the connection between not relying on anyone and the fact that she'd trusted him not to kill her... Right. Attempt for humor is a go.*

Next time, I'll leave a note if I'm out. As in, not in here.

[She knew what he meant, no need to break it down for her. But he tried anyway and she half smiled]

I knew it wasn't you before, I'd know again. [How she knew, that was the question. It assumed a lot more of her notice of him than she had let on up till now, and perhaps some degree of feeling.]

*that smile. Just a little hint of a smile, really. It's involuntary and very much her and... what were they talking about again?*

Yes. I think you would. *he could pursue that. He could press her on that, and he knows he can and he knows she may even yield. And he also knows that would be a mistake. Not with most women, no. But with her*

... you pack a mean sting. *change of topic for now?*

[What was that look? She felt a moment of self-consciousness and rubbed at the back of her neck. It passed, or rather she pushed it away quickly.]

I needed to subdue you without lasting damage. I knew you could take it. [A side look to him.] I'm glad it worked.

*no, he didn't miss that. The slight moment of... something makes him tingle faintly in anticipation of ... well, of what he hasn't allowed himself to consider, and still isn't. The thing she said she didn't do. Emotion. It hasn't burned out of her, she does have it under control, but it's not gone. Then... maybe it is the right way he was going, after all. If he keeps not hurting the part of her she's protecting so fiercely.*

So am I. *quietly. And then his eyes crinkle a bit* It's too much to hope you've never gotten a dose of that, isn't it.

Even if it wasn't the best way to know how it would affect someone, I've been hit with pretty much everything out there. The suit protects me from most of it, speaking of that...

[She fished out a small bronze smooshed bit of metal. and held it out to him.]

Souvenir, it never broke the skin.

*blinks at the little item in the middle of his palm. Then up at her.*

How...?

The suit. [She held out her arm and patted it. Though it was a close fit, a very close fit, it had a little bulk to it.

A bit after your time but it's a combination of kevlar and other materials. Mostly bullet proof up to armor piercing rounds, deflects blades and absorbs impacts.

Not all of us could be super soldiers.

... that is impressive. *Beat. And because that's how his mind works.* What's the downside?

[Donwside? To exceptional body armor?]

I guess that it keeps people like me around to be pains in the ass for people like you.

[And he's gonna laugh now, Nat. Don't try to hide it. You're a good person deep down inside.]

Alright, you win.

[...no...no she's really not. Honestly.]

It's not about winning. You would have done the same.

[Better than she gives herself credit for.]

You're right I would have. It is the right thing to do, but he's also my friend. So I had a personal stake in it. [Though of course, he would have done the same for you too, Nat. Because that's just how he rolls.]

Huh. *Other than the bruises?* There must be something else, or people'd have given up focusing on guns as they still seem to.

*liptwitch* Because that's far from a downside. You're not a pain in the ass. *innocently* More like an ongoing concern...

Well obviously it won't stop a head shot. Most people don't have this, it's something specialized for me. I don't tend to keep my distance, being in close in a fight you need something better than a uniform.

[An ongoing concern? Who gave him the right to care? Anger flared irrationally through her and she squelched it down fast.] You'd be better off being concerned over someone less qualified to take care of themselves.

So, cost is a downside. *slight smirk.* I think you've got what you need to close in for a fight, too. From what I've seen this far.

*Well, the fact that she takes care of him does nothing to discourage him.* Nevertheless. Besides, if it's a finite resource, I've still not reached its limit.

Expense isn't something that really bothered me. I'm good at what I do and I used to be paid very well to do it. Either by programs or private investors. So I balance the cost of the tools on the worth of my life. My life is priceless, so it's worth everything to me.

This isn't what soldiers are issued, but I'm not a soldier, not anymore.

[Now he was looking at her again, like he cared and she shifted and looked away. It was getting harder and harder to just brush off his reactions, worse yet was this nagging suspicion that she didn't want to brush them off. But that just couldn't be now could it?]>small>

Yeah, well, some of us spent our childhood only a step away from begging on the streets. *he shrugged* Old habits die hard. And, mm. *eyes narrow.* I would guess not only are you that good at your job, your jobs usually put you in more danger than many soldiers actually see. Specific work, specific equipment.

*after a moment, he nodded approvingly.* Thank you. For explaining. *beat, and, softer* I'm glad I didn't do as much damage as I could've.

*he did care, dammit. At this point, he was well aware she was way out of his league, but that didn't mean a guy couldn't dream, and it certainly didn't mean he couldn't care. And try to help*

After a meme left her scrambling to hide her feelings

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