Recapturing his voice

[mycroft_holmes]

[Looks around.]

Well, this is nice.  Isn't this nice?  Here in this little head of yours?  And I do mean little.  And a bit cramped.  Why, I don't think there's quite enough room up since my brother's massive ego is taking up most of the space.

Still that's fine.  I can let him do all the ... [There's a look of disgust.] legwork. As for me, I have governments to run.  Not that you would understand - you have as much interest in politics as Sherlock and yet, you have the gall to attempt to take on my voice.

Well, go on... impress me...

Comments

[mycroft_holmes]

Are you assuming that because you are "The plaything inside the mind of a 23 year old human" that I am the same?

[Mycroft considers the question.]

I occupy a minor position in the British government. Not quite the same as parliament.

[mycroft_holmes]

Sherlock?

[Mycroft is going to play innocent.]

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft grins.]

Oh does it now? I think your logic circuit must be malfunctioning.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft is bored now.]

Actually, it doesn't tell you that much. Boolean Algebra has existed since 1854, and is the basis for all logic circuits. [Pause.] I expected better from a so-called computer...

[In that, he expected a computer to know and understand it's own history.]

[mycroft_holmes]

How... tremendously ambitious of you...

[Especially considering this computer doesn't seem to know it's own history.]

[not_a_hero]

Is it my ego that's taking up all the space or the results of yet another failed diet?

[mycroft_holmes]

Even if my diet had failed, there's nothing that compares to the size of your ego, dear brother.

[not_a_hero]

I believe in a conscious assertion of one's best attributes. The only problem would be in an inflated sense of importance but I think we can agree I am just as good as I think I am. Humility is hardly the virtue you seem to think it is. A minor position in the British Government? Really.

[mycroft_holmes]

That is called the truth, Sherlock.

[At least according to the paystub.]

As far as your talents... You work far too hard to be as good as you think you are.

[After all, it should be effortless.]

[not_a_hero]

Legwork isn't a sign of a mental deficit. Sometimes it's more fun getting one's hands dirty. Not that you'd know. The last time I saw your hands dirty you were licking chocolate off them.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft just rolls his eyes.]

What are you doing here? Nothing productive it would seem.

[not_a_hero]

Do I need an excuse to speak to my dear, older brother?




I'm bored.

[mycroft_holmes]

Yes. I know.

[After all the only time Sherlock contacts Mycroft is when he's bored or needs something.]

[not_a_hero]

Did you know that in many of these games, the dead don't stay dead? It's positively hateful. Plenty of death and not a drop of mystery with victims popping right back to life within days. It's predictable and orderly. If I didn't know better I'd think you were behind it.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Okay, that makes Mycroft light up.]

Is that why you're staying dead for so long?

[not_a_hero]

Necessity only. I miss work. Didn't care much for the fame but wouldn't mind having the lines of clients back.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft sighs.]

You do realize that not including me in your plan and whining now is a less than effective way to garner my sympathies.

[not_a_hero]

I don't want your sympathies any more than I expect your apologies. Just talking, brother. I hear people do that.

[mycroft_holmes]

Yes, they do. But we don't.

[And he's just going to ignore the 'apology' remark - even if he sought forgiveness, he doesn't deserve it.]

[not_a_hero]

We also don't make a habit of having nice chats with criminal masterminds but we've both made exceptions.

[mycroft_holmes]

None of my chats with any criminal masterminds has ever been 'nice'.

[In other words, Mycroft might.... regret... yes, that's better than feel 'sorry'... regret the information he gave to Moriarty.]

[not_a_hero]

I suppose that makes me the better host. Mummy would be so surprised.

[Totally not trolling for guilts. Nope.]

[mycroft_holmes]

[Well, good, because guilt trips don't work on Mycroft. He's too practiced at obtaining them from others.]

Oh yes, because that's what she wanted for her 'baby boy': to be able to host a criminal mastermind with more respect than your own brother.

[Or flatmate... or landlady. Mycroft wisely keeps those to himself.]

[not_a_hero]

Well, when earned...

You were right, though. Does that please you?

[mycroft_holmes]

Depends on what you are referring to.

[Though, from Sherlock, he'll take it anyway he can get it.]

[not_a_hero]

Caring was most certainly more a disadvantage than otherwise. Surprising insight from a man with nothing and no one.

[mycroft_holmes]

John... Mrs. Hudson... Anyone else?

[How much damage control does Mycroft have to do?]

[not_a_hero]

Your loyal dog and my humble handler.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft rolls his eyes again.]

The Detective Inspector is his own man, Sherlock. [Brief pause.] How long will you intend to be away?

[He pulls out his black book to make some notations.]

[not_a_hero]

Depends. A few years perhaps. Long enough to let everything blow over and see to things.

[mycroft_holmes]

Everyone will be vying for his place, you know. [He means: "Don't get killed for real, Sherlock, once is enough." He clears his throat.] Do you need anything?

[not_a_hero]

So kind of you to ask. Yes: an identity, a passport, and a few thousand pounds.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft opens his briefcase and hands a pack over to Sherlock.]

Next time you try to fake your death, it would be better to involve me from the outset.

[He had nearly fooled Mycroft.]

And if you were wondering... I confirmed his death myself.

[not_a_hero]

I was there when he did it. If it was faked, I'd be interested in knowing how. I do prefer to know I was the only one so prepared, though.

[He takes the items, looking them over.]

[mycroft_holmes]

He was prepared. The gun was supposed to be loaded with blanks. [Dramatic pause.] Well, even Moriarty could be so mad as to be careless.

[Mycroft starts rambling a bit. Mostly so that Sherlock will have all the information he needs, before undertaking his mission.]

I assume he told you there was no code. There was. As far as we can tell, he was the only one who knew it. Next time you visit my office, there's an ornamental jar on one of my bookshelves. Take a look at it.

[It contains the cerebral cortex and spinal nerves of one James Moriarty. Looks more like a modern art piece, though.]

[not_a_hero]

Collecting trophies now? I had no idea his crimes against you were so grievous. I'll be sure to familiarize myself with your office when the opportunity takes me.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft goes for the aloof reply. To cover how much it really did hurt him.]

Well, at the time I thought he had bested you. Thought he deserved some place of... honor.

[not_a_hero]

Well, I can feel just as accomplished now having forfeited him that honor as well.

I may need you from time to time. Circumstances being what they are. I'll try not to make it a 'thing' for us, though.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft grins.]

Good to know you haven't let being dead completely go to your head. I'll reserve the jar in it's place. More for amusement now...

[He pauses at the last comment.]

Circumstances being what they are, best that it not become a 'thing.'

[He reaches into his pocket and hands Sherlock a mobile.]

It's off grid, untraceable and unlimited access.

[Well, when Mycroft says 'off grid.' This is a way he can keep an eye on his brother.]

[not_a_hero]

[He inspects it. Well, surely there will be an upgrade plan involved.]

Good. I'm certain it will come in handy. You'll make sure my affairs are handled in the meantime I take it? It was a flat share after all. I am financially obligated.

[mycroft_holmes]

Dr. Watson and Mrs. Hudson will be looked after - I took them under protection after your death.

[As if Mycroft doesn't take care of Sherlock or those Sherlock cares for.]

[not_a_hero]

Good. Well, then. I suppose that's everything.

[mycroft_holmes]

Promise me you'll be cautious...

[The please is implied as is the honest concern.]

[not_a_hero]

All the trouble I went through not to die, you think I'm going to throw it all away so easily?

[Coke and cigarettes exempted.]

I'll be fine. Better than, with any luck.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft nods.]

With any luck, indeed. Do call if you require... assistance.

[not_a_hero]

[He waves the phone. Yes, he knows.]

Goodbye, Mycroft.

[mycroft_holmes]

[Mycroft nods. And turns to walk away as if the conversation never happened.]