the brotherhood doesn't have dental.

[exterrorist]

It's not the stupidest thing you've ever done, sure. Just kind of, I don't know, really fucking awkward. Like if I did go back and I did remember people, what, am I gonna just stroll up like HEY YOU KNEW ME WHEN I WAS 18 AND DUMB AND NOW I'M 32 AND DUMB. AWESOME!!!!!! And then something explodes, I guess. Because it's me.

I'd have even less connection to any of them than I did when I was young. I might actually feel like it'd be... kinder? To avoid them. Because it's weird. It just is.

Growing up is appreciated, though. Even the shitty parts.

Comments

[rhinemaid]

You were the one who had to pee terribly.

[exterrorist]

Yeah, see, this is like the least awkward memory anyone has of me.

[rhinemaid]

It sounds like you're living a series of terrible anecdotes.

[exterrorist]

That's actually the selling point of my memoir. Well, most memoirs, probably.

[rhinemaid]

What's the title going to be?

[cerebral]

I'm not the sort of person to be avoided easily. Even though we never technically had a connection beyond one anti-terrorist meeting, where you kept looking at me awkwardly.

[exterrorist]

"Ffffffffffffffffuck," by John Allerdyce.

[rhinemaid]

I think I'd buy that. For the title alone.

[exterrorist]

You have to admit I'm right, though. And with what you must know about him now, I promise, you wouldn't like what you'd find about him from me now, even if he's not the same, even if he never becomes that man.

[exterrorist]

It's funny how my publisher won't accept that argument, no matter how many people tell me that. Doesn't she want to sell books? God.

[rhinemaid]

It would be fantastic, though. With that label font, in lowercase, quite large. Plain black cover with your name discreetly at the bottom. Very arresting.

[cerebral]

You are. And I might not like it, but I'll still look if I can, for my own reasons.

[exterrorist]

You don't have to. The situation is so different in Baedal. You could just let it lie, for fucking once.

[exterrorist]

God that sounds so good. Stop it.

[rhinemaid]

I think it's called Impact Label.

[cerebral]

'For once' implies something I wouldn't do normally, so there's no point in starting now.

I don't expect people to understand.

[norea]

One is better equipped to handle certain kinds of awkwardness as an adult, at least. [ Hasi remembers her non-conversations with you before, John. ]

[exterrorist]

And that's led you to so many good places, right? And nothing bad could happen if you know all these things, you'll see him the same no matter what, you'll have faith, is that it?

[exterrorist]

Haha. [THE BLEAKEST NON-LAUGH. But no, she is correct at least in this case, since he can now make eye contact and doesn't seem so uncomfortable.]

[exterrorist]

It'll never happen. But now at least I can make mock ups and cover all her books with them.

[rhinemaid]

Arial Narrow in bold face, for your name. [ SHE'S HELPING ]

[exterrorist]

I do need to retain some hipster street cred.

No, that's probably the most ridiculous lie I've told in at least three days.

[rhinemaid]

That's got to be some kind of oxymoron.

[exterrorist]

I'd make some kind of hipster joke but honestly I'm tapped out in that area, I think we've had enough of that, just, you know, as a society. Then again maybe I'm wrong and that just shows how out of touch I am with our needs.

[rhinemaid]

Societal karma.

[ ilde your unshakable faith in the goodness of people. ]