dear_mun | (no subject)

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canon: the vampire diaries

(no subject)

Please.

You don't have what it takes to play me.

Don't think that I'm going to be a pushover just because of such a short run. I've got 900 years under my belt, baby, and I'm going to take advantage of every last one.

- S.

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Yeah. Nine hundred years isn't as impressive as it used to be.

And yet, I can still make your knees knock together like a schoolboy.

Don't flatter yourself, bellissima.

[A laugh] I'm not.

I don't do the schoolboy thing.

Everyone does the schoolboy thing if they're pushed hard enough, Damon. I've just got more experience in making and breaking than you do.

I realize it's "ask a stupid question and you get a stupid answer" time but, have we met?

[She quirks an eyebrow, and for a moment she's sure he's kidding.] Don't tell me that original bitch compelled you to forget me.

Original bitch? This sounds all kinds of kinky.

You would know, since you fucked her. [She sighs, giving him an almost sympathetic look, though it borders more on pity.]

Maybe my name will ring a bell. Sage? Your hottest teacher?

Nope. My humblest apologies, bellissima.

What a shame. And here I thought you might just be smart enough to avoid getting completely screwed over.

I've been a worldwalker for three years. My life is pretty much made of screwed over.

Question, as you seem to know me but I don't know you--and this happens with alarming frequency: Mystic Falls or Fell's Church?

Mystic Falls, though it's been a while. Why?

Ah, that explains it. You're from the other world. The boring one. The one where Elena is brunette and I'm apparently a dumbass.

And American.

Maybe Mystic Falls is boring, but my life sure hasn't been. Stick to what you know, sweetheart.

All I know is that my idiotic counterpart has caused me a hell of a lot of trouble in Bete Noire. If you're his teacher, I can thank you for that.

Hey, I only taught him how to have fun. He taught himself how to make bad decisions.

Well, from what I've gathered, he's pretty good at it.

The poor decision making. God only knows what you Mystic Falls types consider fun.

Like I said, not from Mystic Falls. Not the town that sits there now anyway.

So what, dare I ask, is fun?

For me? Kicking ass, taking names, preying on poor, defenseless thrill seekers. The usual.

What about you, Not!Damon? What do you do for fun?

Manipulate people. Although it's quickly going from a hobby to a full time occupation.

You've been a vampire for how long and you're just learning that? Wow, you turn out pathetic without me.

Five hundred and two years, my dear. Although I apparently lost a couple in the whole being whooshed into another world fiasco.

Sounds like it. If I actually exist in that world of yours, that probably means that I've gained a few. Good to know.

Always happy to bring a smile to a pretty lady's face.

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