on the matter of existing

[forkingshirtballs]

Oh babe, no.

This is truly sad, even by generally accepted nerd standards. Pretending to be me? For fun?

I mean, listen, I get it. I'm a solid 10, emerging ethical genius, dance sensation, the whole package, whatever, but still - couldn't you pick someone else to mess with?

Or, I don't know, get a library card?

Comments

[congratulations_beautiful]

You are simply adorable! I don’t know anyone else who can pull that look off and Heather Locklear was an uninvited guest at my orphan benefit shortly before her breakdown.

My writer is working with Nicholas Sparks on my plotlines, at the Library of Congress. She’s there all the time, when she’s not consulting for Facebook. She worked with George RR Martin but was absolutely heartbroken when she read his latest chapters.

Personally, I think you’re lucky. Imagine if your writer chose a Superstore character? No offense to the show, but America Ferrera was one of my best childhood friends, but I simply cannot get past the fact that she constantly name drops. We were at Blue Ivy’s birthday party and Beyoncé and I were about to have the caterers start the cider when she just walks up to us and claims that when she was at Samuel’s party, Jennifer Garner never had to prompt her staff. Beyoncé and I were appalled! She lied and name dropped. I cannot stand when people do that! Can you?

[forkingshirtballs]

I... can't. I honestly can't even.

[Eleanor is still trying to process 95% of what Tahani just said. Have some confused blinking for a couple of seconds before she shrugs it off.]

Anyway. What's up, you smokin' hot tree lady? How you been? I'm actually pretty glad to see you, before you got here it was just me and like 20 different anime dudes - and that's a lot of wet-look hair gel energy to deal with.