On returning to Little Hades (and seeking castmates/friends/enemies)

[hellboundheart]

I still think Sherlock shoved Lucifer's piano over that trapdoor. Two months in Hell's version of House of Leaves that is my basement for that twat. Gabriel is taking that damn piano out, isn't he? I could use the floor space for anything other than that thing playing 'Strangers in the Night' when I walk past.

At least I got to miss Brimstone's Initiation Day. Heard they let out all the criminals the angels over at the Little Hades Police Department managed to lock up and then burnt the place down. What did angels think was going to happen in Hell? And Gabriel saved all of Greg Lestrade's paperwork. Not at all suspicious that. I'm sure the trickster just had to run in when he saw the place on fire. The LHPD will probably be on a hiring drive again with all the angels flooding in with Little Eden being poisoned. Can't just be in Hell, huh, Constantine? Oh no, let's have harp strummers all over the place too.

Speaking of which, there will be no angels in Hellblazer. Bad enough The Powers That Be named my place -that- and the floorboards scream once in awhile with random wall bleeding, but there will be no feathery arses parked anywhere in there. Lucifer came and went as it pleased him when he was down here, and I'm not having his siblings or ilk thinking my shop is the local flophouse now that he's gone.

With Oliver Queen possibly arriving, I wonder if all those lovely girls he worked with will be coming. For them I might make an exception. Least Zatanna, Chas and Zed aren't here to say 'I told you so, John' or that smoking would be the death of me. An old lady hit me with her car. The fact that I had been getting some Silk Cut was purely coincidental.

Comments

[dadstrade]

It doesn't take the likes of Sherlock to know exactly how Gabriel ended up conveniently rescuing all of my paperwork. Fortunately for him, he wasn't the first or the last, and I had other things to worry about.

[ailes_dor]

If you miss the piano that much, you can have it back. Or come visit it, I don't know. Whatever floats your boat.

[hellboundheart]

That will happen when you deal with angels.

[hellboundheart]

You're not listening to me, Gabriel. Get your brother's bloody music box out of my shop. That's all I want. If your Lucifer comes back, he can get it back from you. Less reason for him to come bother me.

[dadstrade]

I'm pretty sure that this is a uniquely Gabriel sort of problem. The other angels I know aren't much into pranks or dares.

[hellboundheart]

You have a point there. Most that I've met have no sense of humour or understanding of 'funny' other than getting their way no matter who dies, suffers or gets manipulated. Never trust them.

That Gabriel? Might be something wrong with him.

[dadstrade]

The ones I associate with aren't like that.

Gabriel is different.

[hellboundheart]

Angels from my world are, and Gabriel's Lucifer seemed to run on that bend until he ended up have a jealous fit over stories of my Lucifer.

Is he? Never seen Gabriel do something that makes him laugh even if someone else gets hurt? Show a lack of giving a shit over the innocent versus what he wants? Don't get me wrong, Lestrade. I hope for your sake that I'm wrong in his case. I just can't believe like you can.

[dadstrade]

I meant different to every other angel I've ever met, regardless of where they came from. He's not a paragon of virtue, obviously, but who around here is? Look, I know his past is... checkered, at best, and I know he's still capable of doing horrible things, many of which he was created to do. He might have a human vessel, but he's not human. He's never been human.

All of that said, yeah, I have faith in him. In what he can be. Call me crazy if you like, it's nothing I haven't heard before.

[logicals]

Hmm. I plead the fifth.

[hellboundheart]

You're an arrogant twat, Sherlock. Still running DearStalker or whatever it was you were spying on people with?

[hellboundheart]

Different as in dropped on his head.

Angels aren't about virtue. The Gabriel from my world got his heart ripped out doing the dirty with a succubus. Might have helped that along, but he was a wanker.

I'm glad you see that then. People say 'angel' and end up blinded by that false brilliance. They're arseholes on the whole. Just feathery white ones.

I've heard crazier.

[dadstrade]

[ Thanks for that mental image, John. He could have gone without it, but he'll just put that one next to the ones he has of Gabriel eating a raw, bloody heart and have nightmares about them later. It's fine. ]

It helps to understand that 'angel,' as far as we're concerned at this point, is a very vague term. They're calling me an angel, after all. 'Dead human' just doesn't have the same ring to it, I guess.

[logicals]

Bit harsh. Not untrue, mind.

Of course. It's quite successful; I was thinking of offering you a free premium account in exchange for information, but I fear it's a wasted venture.

_{[ oh no, so sad. :( ]}

[hellboundheart]

[Probably a good thing then that Lestrade doesn't know about what happened to Gabriel after that, how he died or John's role in it.]

True enough. Much like 'demon' or 'devil'. You were alive once, Greg. You understand compassion, innocence, empathy and all that rot. He doesn't and may never. Not my concern in the end. You're decent enough, and if it works for you two...

[hellboundheart]

Don't have need of one. I was thinking more offering people protection from it. Not everyone likes you nosing around after them. Don't think anyone does, really.

[dadstrade]

[ Yes, thank you, John, he doesn't need any more of that. ]

He does, he just doesn't see it the same way a human would.

[ Ahem. Anyway, yes, it's not really John's concern, and it is working. ]

For the record, the Little Hades Police Department exists because of the Reform Branch. It's all run by demons. They just happen to be demons that are happy to take on angels that are willing to help their cause.

[hellboundheart]

[John shuts up about it at this point because he doesn't know. He knows what utter shits the angels in his world could be, but Lestrade seems safe enough with Gabriel. Unless the chocolate supply runs short.]

Greg. It's Hell. Bureaucracy. It gives mid-level demons something to do and feel powerful so they order around mid-lower-level demons who get to boss around low-level demons. Besides, maybe you should know more about their 'cause'. They're demons for a reason.

[He doesn't trust his fellow damned anymore than he could punt them.]

[dadstrade]

[ It wouldn't be quite so bad if sugar wasn't technically contraband. ]

My point was that angels have very little to do with these things, actually, at least as it stands right now. Most of the demons we've got locked up were put there by other demons. And yes, they're demons for various reasons, and I know for a fact that they're typically only fond of angels as far as they're useful.

[ It's best to assume that the entire system is corrupt, probably. Unfortunately Lestrade is starting to think that it really is, top to bottom. Not just with Hell. ]

[ailes_dor]

That's cute. I heard exactly what you said and what you didn't say. You know that's what us feathery bastards do.

The other one is yours, isn't he? He's pretty good on the ivories. And cuter than mine. Who can I put in a complaint to?

[hellboundheart]

I never said 'bastards'. That requires you to have had parents instead of just Daddums. Get Luci's piano out before I find a way to destroy it. He probably would have liked you to have it.

Other one what?

[Noooo. Not that.]

[hellboundheart]

[Constantine would love to see someone deny Gabriel his sugar fix. He would pay top dracos to sit front row for it.]

You are in Hell technically, Greg, even if it isn't any Hell I recognise. Demons do that. Angels too. They're users.

[Corrupt would be an understatement in John's experience.]

[ailes_dor]

Stop being so picky. Honestly, you and Sherlock are as bad as each other, you know that? Well, okay that's an exaggeration. Sherlock's not quite as bad as you are.

The other Lucifer. The one in the snappy black suit. With the hips. You've seen him right?

[hellboundheart]

Sherlock hasn't had the experience with angels and demons that I have. Give him a month or four, and he'll be worse. He'll try to use logic on a situation that has no logic to it. Celestial powers don't believe in something human like that.

Haven't met him yet and won't know until I do. Could be one like mine. If he used to run a nightclub called 'Lux' with a demon named 'Mazikeen', chances are he's mine. Your Lucifer was jealous of him. Seemed he got a raw deal compared to mine.

[ailes_dor]

I'm not talking about that stuff. I mean all the nit-picky semantics stuff. He's worse than you. You're worse on the keeping-bits-of-angels-in-jars scale.

Huh. I don't remember him mentioning either of those things. He plays piano and he's lived in LA. Apparently LA is more fun than Hell, which makes me worry about his management style. And yeah, I can see why Luci would be jealous. Hells, I'm a little jealous and I'm much cuter than he is.

But I don't think that's what you mean, is it? We're talking about Daddy fucking his boys over.