Endings, beginnings and test drives Oh my

[x_filed]

Alright, I'll agree that it was a little... anti climactic. But when has my life ever followed any predictable pattern? I had no idea the direction my path would take when I joined the FBI. I've learned so much and seen so much that how can anything be out of the realms of possibility now?

So, come to terms with things beyond your control when you have to; there will be a lot of them. There are more immediate things to concern yourself with.

Yes, I noticed you're putting me out there. It feels a little random to me, like your just looking to see where I'll fit. The irony is that I've never really fit in anywhere, never quite done exactly what I was supposed to.

So don't be too surprised if the outcome of all this as as sudden and mystifying as what you just watched.

Comments

[the_i_in_fbi]

Your mun and mine seem to be in the same wave length.

[OHAI SCULLY]

[x_filed]

Must be, they have you and she has me. Are you being out into any of these games or tests?

[ohaithar Mulder]

[the_i_in_fbi]

Not as of yet. The writer keeps thinking about it but not doing anything. You?

[x_filed]

She's looking for places, found two that she's amused with because they put me on space ships with beings from multiple universes.

[The amusement was clearly one sided.]

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Mulder isn't impressed by Scully's mun]

I think you've spent enough time on space ships or similar crafts over the years.

[x_filed]

Thank you, I agree. I would appreciate any other suggestions that would keep my feet more on solid ground.

[She knew you'd have her back, Mulder.]

[the_i_in_fbi]

Sounds like you've resigned yourself to going to one these 'games'. [sigh] I suppose if ya gotta go somewhere at least maybe it can be on good ol' terra firma.

[He'll always have your back, Scully.]

[x_filed]

No, I'd much rather go back to work. But that doesn't seem to be an option for me here. There was some place filled with monsters she had looked at. I don't think it was metaphoric language for genetic aberrations and anomalies, it has real monsters. I vetoed that as quickly as I could.

[What would she ever do in one of those crazy places with you, Mulder? It just wouldn't be right. Monsters are your bread and butter.]

[the_i_in_fbi]

Com'on, Scully. They're always real monsters.

[Okay, he tries not to sound too gleeful at the idea of a game filled with monsters. Tries.]

So you prefer space over monsters? And here I thought I was the one who wanted to be the astronaut.

[OOC: Thinking about his whole astronaut thing makes me wanna go back and re-watch seasons four and five. Don't ask me why - maybe the Apollo coin he gives Scully.]

[x_filed]

Mulder real monsters are usually people who inflict violence and pain on other people. This place is boasting werewolves, demons, vampires, gargoyles, sirens...if it has killed someone in a cheap scifi film, it is probably there.

Given that, some of these space places don't sound so bad. At least the aliens there are not involved in experimentation.

[OOC: I've been marathoning the show the past few weeks, there are so may great moments and yes, that is one of those rare moments where Mulder shows his childhood ambitions. It's great.]

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Cue Mulder's face lighting up like a child's on Christmas morning.]

Now I definitely can't understand why you turned that game down outright.

[He pauses at her comments on the aliens and seems to consider something before speaking again.]

What kinds of aliens are we talking about here, Scully?

[x_filed]

[Calm down Mulder, she shook her head.]

You also become a monster there over time. I don't want to turn into anything except an older version of myself over time.

[Of course, that's the Mulder she's come to know and love. Well.. it's complicated anyway.]

Well one place has talking ponies, people who fly, people with super powers and other strange things. Another place has the typical lizard people, humanoid type aliens, apparently self titled gods, not to mention both have people who use actual magic.

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Okay, so Mulder isn't a fan of becoming a monster himself. He frowns at that comment - he almost looks disappointed.]

Gotcha. Well, that place is out then.

[There will always be an enduring childlike quality to Mulder - not yet jaded by the years. Perhaps it is that quality which makes him both endearing and infuriating at times. Either way without Scully to keep him in check Mulder is lost. Oddly enough he has come to rely on Scully's company. The man who once needed no one and trusted no one now cannot imagine being alone again. Of course, he isn't about to say any of that. No - that would be giving away too much about himself - too hard to admit or put into words and it would be revealing an all too real weakness.]

Talking... ponies? Huh. I guess that could be every little girl's dream come true.

[He listens about the other place.]

Magic? As in Abracadabra?

[x_filed]

[Look there, Mulder can learn! Not just running blindly into a mystery for his answers is a big step forward.]

Exactly how I felt.

[And as stubborn as he was, she was open. She'd know she had feelings for him from not long after they'd become partners. Those feelings of mutual respect and admiration for his obvious intelligence and drive, for his dogged determination and his own unshakable loyalty to her and to his cause. She was, if anything, surprised nothing had come of it sooner, but they were more than casual, and because the feelings had grown in first everything else had to be broached carefully.]

I had a chemistry kit, thank you very much.

[She grinned that little dangerous grin of hers.]

Like wizards with wands, and some without, defying every law of physics and conservation of matter and energy.

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Mulder's seen a little too much of himself becoming a monster in the past - while the mun would be amused and delighted by the prospect he is not.]

I think my mun would love seeing that happen but I... Humans have lots of inner monsters. I would rather not see them manifest in the outward sense.

[Her next comment causes him to outright laugh as he imagines a pint-sized Scully hovering over test tubes and beakers.]

How did I know you had one of those as a kid?

[He catches that grin and returns it with one of his own - a dorky, boyish grin that few people aside from Scully ever got to see.]

Excuse me, what?

[Okay, so hearing about these things was surprising on its own but hearing Scully refer to the happenings and people in such a manner - not sounding her normal skeptical self was cause for damn near a heart attack.]

[x_filed]

So you know how I feel then, she think's it would be fun for her but it would be horrible for me.

[...you laugh at science? That's just awful Mulder.]

Because you have out way more thought into it than you probably should have, or you've seen the photo albums.

[there it was, the grin that melted years off him, made him shed the weight of the world. She loved that smile it reminded her of the early days before things became so dark and convoluted. The days before they knew just how much truth was out there.]

You heard me. Real magic. Now this is what I've been told, I'm still not sure it's anything more than sleight of hand or illusion, but she seems willing to accept it.

[the_i_in_fbi]

Maybe a little of both? I have met your mother after all.

[He winces a little - he isn't sure how much this Scully knows of the most recent canon. The world has become such a horrible, ugly place. While this Mulder is pulled from earlier in their canon he knows what happens in later years thanks to his mun's knowledge.]

Real magic? I never thought I would ever live to hear you utter words even approaching that let alone the sentence itself.

[He eyes Scully and then looks to his own mun.]

And you trust this writer of yours?

[Yeaaaaah, he may not trust his own writer any further than he could throw her.]

[x_filed]

And she would be the one to show anything she thinks is an image of me when I was cute and our family wasn't completely in upheaval.

[Fortunately for Scully though the Mun is aware the news that has filtered down to the muse has been limited. More or less hovering around season 8 knowledge for her.]

I trust no one Mulder, you taught me that.

[Well, no one but him. And him she'd learned to trust almost blindly unless she knew something was wrong with him. She'd learned him so well she could recognize him being off in a delusion of her own mind, and a giant fungus.]

But in this? I think it might be worth investigating at least.

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Funny you should mention fungus, Scully...]

Can you blame her? I think most parents long for simpler times. Times when the worst things they had to deal with was a broken bone or a nasty cut.

[Mulder pauses at her statement. A terrible truth. He wishes he hadn't been the one to teach her that.]

Helluva thing to be known for teaching.

[There had been times in the beginning when he felt it was his job to awaken Scully from her naivety - to show her the dark side to her mundane little world. It had been like a brass ring to him. It was a conquest - a game.

Now, though? He wonders why it was so important to him that he drag her down with him. She would have been better off remaining blissfully unaware. She would not have suffered as much as she had. She wouldn't have suffered because of him.

He pulls himself out of his thoughts when she makes her next comment]

You know what they said about curiosity and the cat?

[He smirks. Despite his moments of introspection Mulder is always up for an adventure and he can always count on Scully to be right there with him.]

[x_filed]

[it's only good on pizza and Italian food.]

And mom has seen so much of everything, dad, Melissa, the falling out with Charlie. I wish things could be easier for her.

[Mulder, she wouldn't change it for the world, and she hopes he knows that. He changed her life, in some radical ways but for the better. And yes he shed the harsh light of reality into the comfortable darkened corners of her acceptance, but she would rather know and face it with him than not know and be alone.

For as much as he might want to think she would be better off without him and his chaotic sidetracking of her life, she needs him. And she needs to be needed by him. Together they make sense of a mad world, science and faith in infinite combination between them.]

I heard it killed the cat.


But I seem to recall something about satisfaction brought it back.

[She's all in partner, and she will always have his back.]

[the_i_in_fbi]

[You keep telling yourself that, Scully. Mulder knows who he won't show his line dancing to.]

So do I. And for you.

[And he hopes she knows she has done the same for him. Mulder had had a pretty pathetic and lonely existence prior to Scully and her skeptical looks came knocking on his door. A reclusive, basement-dwelling nerd with a taste for chasing UFOs, investigating monsters, dreaming up conspiracies, porn, and sunflower seeds was not someone a person took to parties as a date. Hell, Mulder had never been a fan of people hanging around because they expected too much from him.

But, despite his own personality faults and his best efforts, Scully had seen him at both his best and his worst and she was still there. Always beside him. Now he couldn't imagine his life without her. She really had made him a whole person.]

Ahh, yes. And cats do have nine lives.

[And that is why she is always number one to him.]

[x_filed]

[She is pretty glad to have missed that.]

I know Mulder, and I honestly can say the same for you.

[She meant it, it wouldn't be a stretch to say she loved him, though saying it out loud might be awkward. She knew Fox...god that felt odd to even think of him by his given name, Mulder wasn't the type to talk openly about his feelings. They hadn't discussed so much in their time together as partners about what was happening between them, it was just always assumed.

And incidentally she would always take him as a date to parties, especially after the birthday party she'd attended early on in their partnership, her dating life hasn't been exactly what anyone would call successful.]

They do, but I wouldn't want to risk them all in one place.

[The feeling is more than mutual.]

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Try having to explain to people - over and over - that, yes, that is your real name. Mulder settled on the thought long ago that his parents wanted him to live the most awkward life ever.

He nodded at her compassionate words.]

Thanks.

[The reply sounded so pitiful but he honestly couldn't think of a better way to express what he was feeling without things getting awkward. Mulder had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with Scully but saying such a thing aloud - no. Saying that would ruin everything. He wasn't the type to settle down and want a normal life. Sure, he might be able to play the part for awhile but eventually he knew what would happen - he would get obsessed with some new case and then that would be all that would occupy his mind. How did he know? Because that was how it had always been in the past - whether his quarry be an alien conspiracy or a serial killer.]

Very true and we can't have you doing that. Who would I spend my sunny afternoons in a basement with if you used them all up?

[x_filed]

[Mulder suited him better anyway. She found it difficult to use anything but that when addressing him and had a difficult time recalling when anyone else had ever done so in her presence.

Compassion in this case walked hand in hand with truth.]


You'd be bored, or you'd be free. I think there were days you couldn't wait to be rid of me.

[Again, early on in their time assigned together he thought she was exactly what she'd been sent to do. She was there to debunk te X-Files and Mulder himself. He'd made few friends with his outlandish claims and hos own unfettered belief had left him little to prove anything with. But she hadn't turned on him, instead she'd become his ally, the scientific balance to his speculation. She brought logic with her and more often than not between them they resolved the cases they were assigned. They made a good team and to some that had made them dangerous. ]

[the_i_in_fbi]

[Green eyes that occasionally revealed more than the man wanted them to briefly found Scully's gaze.]

I'd be miserable.

[Sure, he had wanted her out of his hair almost as soon as she had arrived but that hadn't lasted long. She was exactly who he needed most - not just a partner or a friend but something more. She had kept him from coming completely off the rails and saved his ass more times than he cared to admit. And in return he had traveled to the ends of the Earth - literally - to save her from whatever fresh Hell he brought upon the two of them.]

I mean, who would water me and turn me toward the Sun on a regular basis?