dear_mun | muse is newly homeless

I can't tell if you're actually happy or not. You say good riddance, but your face says otherwise; is it just your mun is that bad?

My face always looks like this.

But yeah, she's that bad. I should probably consider myself lucky looking at some of the shit she's put other people through in these games, but I'm not exactly one to count my lucky stars.

[Laughs a bit]

Well, muns are like that. I suppose the only suggestion I can give you is to enjoy the break.

Eh, I'll try. Pretty hard to enjoy anything with the cloud of doom that is my mun hovering over my head.

[he lights a cigarette]

How exactly are you so happy-go-lucky in a place like this?

If you don't you'll get an ulcer. [Then another laugh] Something like this is nothing to the life I've been given.

I actually already have an ulcer.

[He takes a long drag of his cigarette and regards him curiously for a moment.]

Yeah? Well, if you can survive something worse than this without going batshit insane, then you're a stronger man than I.

[Part of him wants to ask about it, but he hates when people pry more than anything, and the last thing he wants to be is a hypocrite.]

I'm sorry to hear that. Stressing won't help it any then.

[chaos seems to realize what Yuki is thinking, and smiles]

I come from a world where millions can die in just a moment. Become monsters and lose what very little humanity they still held. Among other things.

[That earns a moment of stunned silence and he just regards Chaos with a kind of silent alarm until he can properly function enough to respond.]

That sounds a lot like where I'm from, but I'm guessing in your case it's more literal than figurative.

So I'm guessing your primary concerns revolve more around not turning into a monster than booze, then?

I probably I come off like an overprivileged brat, considering what you're used to.

Oh, I can't turn into one! [Way too chipper considering the discussion at hand] Aa for complaining about booze, or being overprivileged. not really. Just human. Even the captain on my ship likes to drink.

Either way, I was just saying why it is this place doesn't bother me. What the mun can come up with is fairly tame usually. And she rarely can place me in a game so I don't have issues there.

[Way too chipper. Eiri isn't too put off, though. The air of pleasant calm reminds him somewhat of his brother-in-law and there's something soothing about it.]

Probably lifts a lot of stress then, huh?

[He takes a few more deep drags while he stares off into space for a moment, gaining his bearings.]

All things considered, I probably am an overprivileged brat. But I don't really care if I am, to be honest. I guess maybe I should just do the unthinkable and be grateful I don't have to deal with quite the level of shit you do.

[A bitter half-laugh.]

Yes. I didn't like the last time I was in a game.

[He then laughs softly at Eiri's remark]

Mmm... It's alright sometimes to be a brat I think. It's when you become such a brat you turn others away that you have to worry.

What did you have to do? These games all seem pretty sick, if you ask me.

[And then a beat, and Yuki stares hard at him. Because that remark hits pretty close to home, though he doesn't want to show it. Because "becoming such a brat that you turn others away" sounds like Eiri to a tee. There's a moment when he has to make a conscious effort not to lash out at him because he said something that he could relate to.]

Yeah? And how can you tell when you've gotten to that point?

[He tries to keep his tone casual, like he's just interested.]

Oh, nothing much. It was a town game. But... It made me have to think of things I didn't like.

[And that reaction is good. It may keep chaos from having to explain other things. Plus, he can answer this.]

If no one comes near you, except because they need something then you've reached that point. I think you're fine though. I know there are people near to you.

Yeah? You can elaborate if you want, but I'm not gonna be pushy about it.

[But he really, really is curious. It's hard to turn off. Maybe, if he's crafty, he can figure out some way to casually bring it up later.]

Oh yeah?

[He bristles a little, his eyes narrowing, and when he speaks again his tone is just a shade unpleasant because there it is, that ultimate evil; someone knowing something about him. He can't explain why it makes his skin crawl to talk about himself, but it does.]

And how exactly do you know that?

[He isn't going to elaborate, not with that look on the writer's face. But he is smiling, as if it doesn't bother him; and it probably doesn't if his relaxed posture means anything.]

Your attitude. A man who has no one has a different attitude and a different way of holding himself.

What if I told you I did have no one?

[This is a lie, obviously, but he's not going to let this guy win. His voice is cold enough to freeze a bottle of Everclear]

Don't pretend you know everything about me because we've had one conversation. If you really knew me, you'd run screaming.

[There it is again, that inability to keep his cool. He doesn't know why he lashes out, but he does, and he can't seem to stop it or even control himself.]

((ooc; I am so sorry about him he is the biggest jerk in the universe))

I wouldn't believe it. As I said, you don't hold yourself as a man who has nothing. Your words also don't imply it. Neither does that anger.

And I've seen worse men than you.

[He just smiles still, seemingly un-phased, but his eyes don't hide that he seems to feel for Yuki.]

((Ooc: No worries, I'm well aware. I've cosplayed Shuuichi lol. Also chaos can hold his own so don't worry about if Yuki wants to get physical.))

What the hell do you know?

[His eyes narrow further, and now he's pacing, fingers squeezing his cigarette a little too tight. Keep it together, he reminds himself, but it doesn't work so well. He's trembling a little now because he's so inexplicably angry that he can barely see straight.]

Go to hell. You don't know me. What are you, some kind of goddamn profiler? Don't think for one second that because you can read body language or whatever the hell it is that you're doing right now that you know the first thing about me. Like hell you've seen worse men than me. You don't have any idea.

[And now he's glaring straight into his eyes, his own pale ones filled with more malice than is probably healthy]

Stop acting like you know what you're talking about.

((ooc; oh thank goodness XD I've had issues with people thinking that I was OOCly angry with them when Yuki gets pissed with their character so I always feel the need to clarify when he starts acting up. And that is super awesome, omg <3 my best friends and I have a Gravitation cosplay group together, I know the ridiculous insane fun that is cosplaying from that series. And lol I think I might take you up on that, I've actually never gotten to have him hit anyone before!))

Edited (OOCly, not ICly, oops) 2015-09-15 01:13 (UTC)

I'm a watcher of men. Their actions, their words, everything about them. And no, perhaps I don't know everything, but I know quite some little bit.

[He meets that look, still not at all bothered.]

((Ooc: haha no, I'm aware of his temper. I even dragged a Tohma out of my closet and talked about playing in traffic as him. And I have the same issues with chaos... He doesn't have enough emotion, this should scare him, he shouldn't know this much, etc. But hell guy can read minds if he desires and is like 6000+ years old))

[All of this calm pleasantness is really starting to piss him off. Perhaps because he's like a small child in the regard that when he can't intimidate someone, he just becomes more upset. It's definitely happening right now, and the fact that he's getting upset just makes him angrier.

Against his better judgment, he shoves Chaos against the nearby wall, keeping his back flat against it with one palm hard against his chest.]

Shut up.

[It's probably not the most eloquent or intelligent thing to say, but nothing else is coming to him. Everything is just a blur, and as with most things he does, Eiri will most likely regret this later but for now all he can do is react with simple and blind rage because he's so afraid of the alternative, whatever it may be.]

Shut your goddamn mouth. I don't know what kind of game you're playing here, but I've had enough. I don't care what you call yourself, stop fucking with me.

((ooc; That makes me unbelievably happy, Tohma is one of my favorites <3 he's such a complicated douche. And I know what you mean, Chaos seems like he'd be a really difficult character to play for that reason. It's like people expect you to not do certain things with characters, even if those things are perfectly within reason for the character and so it makes it difficult. I just feel like people are too uptight about rp XD but whatever the case I'm having a great time playing off of Chaos. I'm intrigued to check out his canon, for sure.))

[chaos makes no movement to stop the taller man from pressing him against a wall, yet he also shows no fear. Perhaps even the faintest tinge of amusement shows in his eyes. The laugh he gives, amused and almost sad underneath, shows further his lack of fear]

I'm not playing a game. If it bothers you so much, I'll stop talking. Yet I'll still know.

((ooc: Exactly! He's interesting to play, and hard. I have to think what he'd know without his powers coming into play. Glad you're enjoying it though. And btw, chaos is only like 5'4" or 5'6" so... Sorry Eiri, shorties bug you))

[The way Chaos just stands there when Eiri pushes him, the way he just lets him...all of a sudden he feels guilty, and he drops his hand and turns away, somewhat shaken, though he's determined not to show it. All at once he feels exhausted and he can feel a headache coming on. A hand pressed to his forehead, he leans up against the wall with one arm and stares at the floor.

"I'll still know."

It's the single most damning thing he's ever heard, somehow. It makes him wonder if he could possibly know everything.

That's ridiculous. Of course not. There's no way he knows about Kitazawa. About. No. A quick glance up at him through the gaps between his fingers, and Eiri hates him and resents him and at the same him he also baffles him and he doesn't know what to do about it.]

Be honest with me. What exactly do you know?

[The idea of not understanding what he could possibly know about him is horrifying, and Eiri feels almost delirious. He's desperate, which is evident in his next word:]

Please.

((ooc; I feel like it's always hard to play a character who knows things/can do things you don't/can't, because then you always have to stop and think before they do something and it gets confusing. And aha Eiri is probably just so irritated with everyone being short at this point that he'll hold it against him just because he's a giant manchild.))

[chaos didn't know everything. He could, but he was behaving for now. So he merely smiles, moving after Eiri does so that he can fold his arms gently across his chest. And although his smile remains, it doesn't reach his eyes; they are instead judging, searching.]

I don't know anything about your past, if that's what concerns you so much. But I know that even though you proclaim to be relieved, you're not. How can you be, when you are suddenly pulled from somewhere somewhat stable to being unsure?

I also know you're telling me you have no one, but that is the greatest of lies. Want to know what I meant by holding yourself and your words? The darkness and venom in the words, the fact your body still moves from your own accord, the fact you become angry and toss someone to the wall...

If you had no one, nothing, why would it matter? You'd be a shell. Shells move as if they are programmed. They take no offense, because they feel nothing for anyone anymore.

[He pauses a moment, shifting a hand to look at it]

When one has lost all, it is only of them they worry. They desire no company, no bother, and avoid any and every confrontation because it may open them to attack. They have no goal, no reason... Does that help?

(Ooc: Exactly. If you ever need another blond asshole I have one lol. Also a manchild)

[When he tells Eiri he doesn't know anything about his past, instinctively his shoulders relax somewhat, and as he listens to those words, he starts to feel very stupid very quickly. Of course he doesn't know the things he tries to keep safely hidden. Of course he doesn't. This is just basic common sense, the art of reading people. He knows plenty of people who can read people...they just can't usually read him.]

Okay. So many I don't like being unsure. But it doesn't matter. Now I can at least go home and see--I can at least go home.

[He swallows, sighs, and looks off into the distance, still leaning heavily against the wall for a moment before he turns around and leans his back up against it. This is taking a lot out of him. It's been quite a while since he's felt this drained.]

Fine. So I admit, I lied. I have plenty. Does that make you happy? Knowing I'm a liar on top of everything else?

[This time, his tone is bitter rather than full of rage, and he turns his head to face Chaos, watching him with what's the epitome of bratty expressions as he brings his slightly bent cigarette to his lips and takes a much-needed puff.]

((ooc; I always need more blonde asshole manchildren XD I'd love to do something with them sometime))

[chaos tilts his head, the movement almost childish to be honest, at Eiri asking if he's happy. And though he knows the smile he always shows is probably not the best of assurances, it remains, though some might be able to tell it's merely painted on at the moment.]

No. It doesn't make me happy. In fact, it's very sad to hide so much.

(Ooc: Anytime. My blond is Rufus Shinra. Just look for afterlaborday for him)

muse is newly homeless

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject