on awaiting icons, anons, mun, and cyrus the virus

[jerkfuck]

I can't believe you can't find pictures of me doing everything possible. I'm the fucking Weather Man, I had a burrito thrown at me on live TV.

I don't like these anonymous people. They keep putting ideas in your head. And I'm pretty sure you can't "app" me anywhere and just fill out everything with "Nic Cage" unless you want to be laughed out of this whole role-playing shit or what-the-fuck-ever it is.

My daughter wasn't born on July 14th, and there will be nothing between me and this Cameron Poe. I don't want his Goddamn bunny.

Stop being such a dildo.


[ooc. canon: the weather man. please don't ask for a tag, you'll encourage more nic cage]

Comments

[eyeofthetigress]

What the fuck are you smoking?

[She may actually want some of that, whatever it is.]

Sorry I only have one icon rn :(

[jerkfuck]

The dildo says "rpanons."

Me? Nothing. I don't smoke. Not good for PR.

[eyeofthetigress]

People actually give a shit about PR?

[jerkfuck]

If I'm going to work with Bryant Gumbel, I have to have good PR. You wouldn't want to be told the weather from just anybody, would you?

[eyeofthetigress]

All I care about is if I can get a clear shot.

[jerkfuck]

I only know about clear shots when it comes to archery. Can't help you with anything else, sorry about that.

[Not really. He has nothing to be sorry for besides being such a jerk off asshole, and having such a shitty speech for his dad's living funeral.]

[eyeofthetigress]

I like archery. Especially when I can put an arrow threw someone's vital organs.

[jerkfuck]

[...Jesus.]

Yeah, uh, I don't do bow-hunting. That's nice for you, though.

[eyeofthetigress]

[Artemis is a third generation villain and a terrible person. She really enjoys killing things.]

It's easy money. And it's fun.

[jerkfuck]

[Is she a celibate, too?]

I pull enough of an income as it is, no need to...go shooting people for pay.

[This is one bizarre-ass conversation. No one eases a Nic Cage character into the world of RP, after all. That's too boring.]

[eyeofthetigress]

[At least she isn't that. She's married to a super villain and has a kid. That kid probably has no chance, oops.]

Shooting people, stealing things, it's all relative. Enjoying it is important too, though.

[jerkfuck]

[Maybe a rugged smoker anti-hero will call child services one day. Maybe the kid will have a chance. If only a hero will answer the call to save an innocent.]

...I don't steal, I earn a living. I'm a weather man in Chicago. Dave Spritz.

[eyeofthetigress]

[And child services will be frozen into blocks of ice. Don't fuck with super villains. They fuck you right back.]

You must live such an exciting life.

[jerkfuck]

[Stop fucking over innocent children! Terrible, absolutely terrible!]

It's what I'm good at, and what I am. I'm content.

[queen_father]

A burrito. [chuckles] Literal or metaphorical?

[jerkfuck]

[A wild Agent Elrond appears!]

I don't know how to make a metaphorical burrito. It was a literal burrito.

Usually MacDonald's stuff, hot apple pies or a box of McNuggets. Got a felafel once. You know, fast food, shit people would rather throw out than finish.

[queen_father]

[in drag, no less!]

Ugh, tell me about it. I get hit with empties more times a month than I should prob'ly count. Sheeah numbahs would just make me break down an' cry.

[jerkfuck]

[The best of them all.]

...empties? You mean like pops and milkshakes?

[He's never met anyone with the same problem. And while he/she (which pronoun to use?) shares it, the idea of breaking down and crying about it makes him frown.]

I've never cried about it. I guess it just happens in my line of work...do you work in TV or something?

[queen_father]

No, I mean beers. [also, she wouldn't break down and cry for real. she's a drag queen. melodrama, always. also - add the s when the wig is on, take it off when it ain't. that's how we roll in Mitzi Del Bra's house]

And I do cabaret.

[jerkfuck]

[That makes sense. It's just that he hasn't had any real experience with drag queens, but he'll definitely respect that and remember it for future interactions. He'd hate to offend her when she hadn't done anything wrong in the first place.

He lets a low whistle.]

I saw a cabaret once, during college. Wasn't like anything I'd ever experienced before. Don't know why I never back, everyone was really friendly. As strange as it was, you know, to me, all out of my element and whatever...it was quite relaxing once I got over it. Can't imagine anyone would toss beer at you, you seem to have quite the stage presence already.

[queen_father]

[Mitzi gapes a little in a grin, with a tiny squeak] Oh, isn't that nice of you! What a sweetheart! I can't imagine what on Earth you'd do to make anyone throw their ganky takeaway at ya.

[jerkfuck]

[And she's nice to boot!]

I'm a weather man. I go on TV in the morning and give the forecast. Sometimes it's not what they expected, but the meteorologists I talked to said that it wasn't a science. It's just wind, it blows all over the place. One day could have an eighteen degree variance. I might say it'll be clear skies in the morning only to have it rain all afternoon.

The majority of people see me as someone to blame for that, I suppose. That's why the throw shit at me.

[queen_father]

[as long as you're nice to her? she's the nicest. she listens, pursing her lips as she thinks about what he's saying. she'd always thought weathermen were pretty rubbish at things as a whole, but that it wasn't really their fault that the weather changed whenever the fuck it felt like it. she makes a face and plucks at one of her earrings]

They must have somethin' really stuck an' rotten stuck up between the biscuits if they get that pissed off about the weather. ... [thinking about it for another moment]

But are ya doin' what'cha really wanna do? D'you like doin' the weather?

[jerkfuck]

[He's not really a nasty guy unless provoked. And there's lots of easy ways to tick off a local celebrity, especially when he wants to stand in line at the DMV just like anyone else.]

Doing the weather? Yeah...yeah, it's a good career, good pay. The Big Apple's a lot different than Chicago, though. No one's thrown food at me since I went international.

It's not exactly in the job description that people will do that, but maybe it doesn't happen to all weathermen. That's about as much as I can reckon, at least.

[queen_father]

International! Well, aren't we the jetsetter, then! [she waves a hand, delighted] ... And honestly, dahling, as long as you love what you do, and it makes you happy, they can throw a million fucking falafels at your pretty little head. I'd put money on them just bein' jealous they can't be who they wanna be.