dear_mun | voice test YOU ARE NOT HELPING, YOU MONSTROUS ASSHOLE

[this face]

Nice dress, Cottontail.

Didjer Gramma make that?

It is nice, Snaptrap. B-b-b-better than that garbage bag you've been wearin' for over a century.

Ain't ya ever heard o' keepin' up with th' times?

Ain't ya ever heard of wearin' the classics? Prolly not, seein' as ya buy all yer garbage in Hot Topic.

Jokes on you! Hot Topic is real popular nowadays! Like American Idol an' Heelys.

Yeah?

... Twilight's popular too.

So is me kickin' yer metal butt 'til it's fifty shades o' grey.

Don't rub yer gross fetishes on me, just cuz yer a skirt don't mean yer my type.

P-puh-puh-please! I'd hafta lower my standards by m-m-miles if I ever were t' even consider touchin' yer slimy hide with anythin' other than a fist!

I'm a r-real lady! An' you ain't anythin' even close t' anythin' gentlemanly.

[He doesn't have much to counter that with.

But he sucks as a gentleman when presented with a Rabbit and no, metal breasts don't make him reconsider. This is still the same fucking Rabbit]

I'm gonna show ya what's real ya cheap stutterin' piece a'crap-

[And now he's just going to try to punch Rabbit in the face]

[UM, EXCUSE YOU. YOU CANT HIT LADIES!! THAT ISNT FAIR!! THAT IS SO NOT FAIR. SPINE. SPINE. HELP!!!

Upgraded chassis or not, Rabbit has never been quite so quick on with reflexes as her siblings, so that punch definitely connects, the loud CRUNCH of metal signaling the start of this brawl. Lady she certainly is, but Rabbit is anything but the picture of Victorian feminine demureness. Her cute, frilly jacket is quickly set aside--it is her FAVORITE new article of costuming, so that is definitely not getting destroyed today--and she is launching with her full weight and rage, absolutely unrestrained, at the other automaton.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.]

[~~You're both... no you're not~~

Rabbit at the very least had been in a few wars, she might know half a thing about fighting. Hare learned all his moves in bars.

So this fight is going to consist of him constantly trying to punch her in the face until she stops moving and attempting to pin her under him.]

Take that ya shitty two penny music box! Yer gonna wish ya got that pretty head o'yers blown off in Vietnam!

[It was the cat fight of the century. Skinny metal limbs flailing, sparks flying, and the sounds of metal banging along in the air.]

At least--[WHAP]--Ya got--[SMASH]--One thing r-r-right!

[If there is one thing that Rabbit is good at in a fight, it's escaping. She's quite like her namesake, wiggling and twisting and kicking till she's out of his grasp. And once there's at least a foot of distance between them, she glares.] I am pretty!

[Did you forget about the flamethrower, Hare? Most people do.]

[Shit no he totally forgot about the flamethrower.

Good thing flamethrowers SUCK, RABBIT.

He manages to inelegantly stumble back a few more feet. That blue flame is impressive, but it doesn't exactly have a legendary range.

So now we're back to square one]

Can't even win a fist fight! Ya gotta cheat!

Snap trap!

[No one expects the Spanish--

No that's Skull hauling Hare back by the scruff and shooting a glare Rabbit's way.]

[Shit.

SHIT. Don't mind the tiny, invisible panic attack when his feet leave the ground and he recognizes that voice. He's fully expecting an entirely different beating now]

Cottontail started it, Skull! Came on in here an' started harassin' me, fer no reason! A guy has to defend hisself, Skull! Self defense, you saw the fire!

[Someone may be in a hurry to get away from the Walter bot, Hare.

Even if that means dragging the other Becile bot by the scruff to do it.]

Did ya ever figure that this is why we don't associate with their type?!

[Well then. Away they go. Because Hare does not have the metal muscle needed to fight his sibling, but he does curse magnificently as they go]

I wasn't associatin' on purpose, ya stupid bone head, she walked in here!

It's my room!

I was just showin' her the door!

... With my fists.

You only ever land a hit outta dumb luck, scrap heap!

[How many bar fights had he dragged this copper knock-off out of when he got over his head?

The Walter bots had actual military time under their belts, even he used his appearence to just intimidate people in order to get out of having to scrap.]

Stop bein' such a dumbass and let's just get outta here.

[HA HA rabbit may or may not be sticking a tongue out at the pair as they departed, the girlie bot no doubt in the clear! No one was going to punish her like Skull was scolding Hare. HA]

I GOT A HIT IN THOUGH! Like a lot of 'em! Look at her face, I hit her!

[ROARING RAMPAGE skull please you might need to haul this pile of shit over your shoulder, because here he is, trying to yank himself away and charge at Rabbit]

I'M GONNA RIP THAT RIGHT OUTTA YER MUG YA CHEAP PIECE A'CRAP!

HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP OR I'LL MAKE YA LOOK LIKE HER TWIN BROTHER.

[welp.]

[Hup!

Over the shoulder the copper scrap heap goes--]

Looks like yer 'brother' don't give enough of a crap ta save yer face, junk heap.

[Lovely parting words, right.]

[ffffffff no he's legitimately worried about that don't hit him please.

But he's also very proud and kind of shitty so he will run his mouth.

But at least he's not kicking anymore]

Ain't no way ta greet yer missin' brother, Skully.

You ain't my brother, you say that enough yourself.

[Apparently that 'trick' isn't going to work on him.

But at least he hasn't punched Hare yet.]

[Worth a shot]

Yeah well fuck you too, Skully.

[And for that he delivers a kick right in the spine.]

[PUNCH

TO

THE

FUCKING

FACE!]

[WHY DID I THINK THAT WOULD END WELL.

YELLING AND HOWLING IN PAIN INTO THE NIGHT]

[And they all lived miserably due to their lot in life.

The end.]

Thanks f-f-fer th' concern, lead head, but I didn't need savin'! I'm perfectly capable o' lookin' out for myself!

That's right! A lady who don't need no man! A lady who c-c-can think for herself! [SHAKING A FIST] Scary, isn't it?! You can't oppress me no more, cisscum!

[someone cut her off from tumblr and quick]

[ru4reel

He might be being carried away over a shoulder like the worlds angriest sack of potatoes but he is definitely not shutting up]

Yeah that's why yer leakin' outta yer face, right?

Hey Cottontail, maybe I'm oppressed. Maybe I'm identifin' as agender. An' I was a magical unicorn in a past life.

Now it's you pickin' on me ya bigendered piece'a shit.

[hare no]

[have a VERY RUDE AND UNLADY-LIKE GESTURE that would definitely get her in trouble at home]

[Have TWO IDENTICAL GESTURES. Both hands.

Just for you, gorgeous.]

[THIS IS GOING ON HER BLOG, JERKWAD]

[He is going to buy a steam punk dildo just for the sake of spam posting it to your blog]

voice test YOU ARE NOT HELPING, YOU MONSTROUS ASSHOLE

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WHAT

NOT AS PLANNED

NEVER AS PLANNED

GODDAMNIT SKULL

GODDAMMIT HARE

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HE WAS RIGHT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

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BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE KEEPING THEM ALL ALIVE YADA YADA

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BULLSHIT YOU ABANDONED JACK HE KNOWS THE TRUTH

EXCUSE YOU HE WAS THE ONE TO GO GET HIM AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO LEFT THEM ALL

YEAH WELL YOU'RE UGLY

THAT WOULD BE A MIRROR YOU'RE LOOKING AT.

FIVE SECONDS AGO THAT WAS NOT TRUE

SHOULD LEARN BY NOW

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