Voice Test - Three Musketeers (2011 adaptation)

[dirtyblade]

You think that you're clever, girl?

This is almost as senseless as apologizing to a horse.

Comments

[scentbombed]

I don't know -- I've seen people who could stand to do so.

[airshipswank]

I rather thought you were in good standing with the Cardinal. Trying to win the favour of another horse seems a little excessive.

[thestormcomes]

If the beast has more honor than you, I do not particularly see why that would be a source of contention.

[dirtyblade]

Either way, it makes little difference to the horse.

[dirtyblade]

Spoken like a true drunk.

[dirtyblade]

[ Standing at attention. ]

Your Grace is correct. My standing remains the same with His Eminence. Should I find any need for more horses, I am sure he will provide.

[scentbombed]

Are you sure about that?

[thestormcomes]

[That's all you've got? Drunk jokes? Surely you can do better than that.]

Remarkable that a drunk single-handedly dispatched ten of your men.

[Lest we forget.]

Unless, of course, the standards of His Eminence's Guard have lowered...

[dirtyblade]

Is the lady implying that she can talk to animals?

[dirtyblade]

[ You are a drunk joke, Athos. What more needs to be said of it? ]

A fool's luck always runs out, Athos. Always.

[thestormcomes]

Haven't you heard the old saying? God protects fools and drunkards.

[...and lovers. But that bit of the "saying" is going to be left out, thank you very much, for reasons we just don't elaborate on in polite company.]

[dirtyblade]

Spare some protection to your friends. Especially the boy.

[thestormcomes]

[Aramis is the lover, Porthos the fool, and Athos the drunkard, so they're all protected rather well, wouldn't you think? The Gascon, on the other hand...

...Athos cares for d'Artagnan as though the young man were his own son, and his gloomy and inflexible character sometimes has a father's worries.]

I was under the impression that picking fights with boys not yet past their first score of years was an exercise beneath a Captain of your caliber.

[The words may be light, but his tone is hard and cautionary.]

[dirtyblade]

Only fools, drunks and lovers pick fights.

[ That last part is especially for you, old friend, and spoken with a note of finality. He's tired of your romantic drivel and the untouchable nature of this impertinent yokel. ]

They also lack the concept and respect for orders.

[airshipswank]

[ Mmhhh, attention. So well-deserved and yet so dreadfully scarce in his new... residence. ]

And whichever one of them you wronged, I am sure the beast will find it in its heart to forgive you eventually.

[ Aha haha ha. Ha. Ahem. ]

Oh, but pray tell, what is it then that you seek, if not an addition to your stable? Or must I ask what it is... that your mundane seeks?

[thestormcomes]

Clearly you forget that I do not answer to His Eminence, nor to His Eminence's excuse for a Guard.

[Ah, but wait-]

Frankly, I'm surprised you have any officers left to command. Their mortality rate is startlingly high.

[scentbombed]

That would be impossible, of course.

[dirtyblade]

[ Yes, Buckingham. Attention. This soldier has plenty, though his palate for humor is rather limited. ]

Company, I believe, Your Grace. She has the interest of finding familiar faces.

[ Unless a majority of the preferred were swinging from the gallows, he does not share the enthusiasm. ]

[airshipswank]

Indeed. They do seem awfully fond of choosing our company for us, not... always with our best interests at heart, I'm afraid to say.

[ A deep and enunciated sigh. ]

But perhaps my face would... suffice?

[ Not only is it familiar, it is also ridiculously smug smug smug handsome. ]

Or the sullen one of your old friend in the thread below mine?

[ Naturally, even in meta terms the fact that his mundane happened to comment on this entry just the slightest bit earlier is somehow clearly proof of his vast superiority... and uncanny handsomeness. ]

[dirtyblade]

No.

[ There's a hint of a smile there. ]

My men do as they are told. They are given work and are paid generously for their service. The alternative...well, there are few grown men who would act out as children to escape the fact that they are obsolete.

[dirtyblade]

[ Ah...and here he had been so looking forward to some disappointment for his own mun. It would have been perfectly enriching to the afternoon rounds-- things that truly needed to attention. ]

Both are familiar.

[ However, rudeness is costly with this particular party. ]

I believe the other prefers to wallow alone.

[dirtyblade]

Then I'm sure.

[thestormcomes]

Your men are poor fighters, their lack of skill hardly compensated for in their numbers. I have seen far greener individuals with more discipline.

[The bit about being obsolete is a hard-hitting comment, though, because hey, it is not Athos' fault that France is in a recession.]

...And was it not d'Artagnan who dispatched Jussac?

[Quite quickly, actually.]

[airshipswank]

A preference you would indulge?

[ That seems like an awfully boring option. ]

[dirtyblade]

His brooding leads to civil disturbance more often than not.

[ Unfortunately, not something his men can ignore for long. Public intoxication, a skirmish here and there, not to mention the irksome habit of collecting runts and instilling them with false confidence... ]

He enjoys the attention almost as much as his flock.

[ Because, sure, he's talking to one perfectly absolved of such vanities. ]

[dirtyblade]

[ A short sniff of disapproval. ]

That temper can work in his favor, but he will get careless.

[ Such is the fate of those that are born muddy and indignant and continue to breed like vermin. ]

Don't coddle him too close-- your other strays may feel replaced.

[airshipswank]

[ Hey, it's not vanity if you just objectively happen to be the most handsome and magnificent man in the universe! ]

Ample cause for arrest then, or is it not?

[thestormcomes]

[And you're much better than that, are you, Rochefort? You and Athos are of the same stock, after all, both being counts of the kingdom, of noble blood.]

Don't tell me your heart of stone has a crack in it.

[Because that would be hilarious.]

[dirtyblade]

[ Well, there is the short matter of their particular aversion to arrest and the general incompetence in a few men that comes with holding Athos and his men captive. Really. He doesn't need the micromanaging. ]

He has the favor of the King as I'm sure your Grace is aware.

[dirtyblade]

[ Naturally. Although years of choices have set two very distinctly separate paths for each of said pedigree. Of his own, he can proudly say he has no regrets. ]

Merely an observation.

[ Sweet of you to give him credit for one at all, Athos. ]

[thestormcomes]

[The nobility is a withering vine and Athos was right to snap himself free of the majority of its burdens while he still could.]

One unfounded and merely speculative.

[He was being facetious.]

[airshipswank]

[ Details, details. Buckingham tuts and looks really rather sorry about the whole mess. ]

Yes. Shame about that.

[ Really now, what has the world come to when people can just get away with anything because their misdeeds have royal approval? What's next, bestowing title upon title on a country boy without a single drop of noble blood just because he has a pretty face?

...Oh. Wait. ]

[dirtyblade]

[ ...But we don't talk about them. Not with any kind of civilities anyway. Don't mind his momentary silence and any subtle shifts in his jaw. That's just some wounded pride. ]

You appear to have your own interest in them.

[ Not directly a question-- he knows better than to expect any sort of straight answer from this particular source. Three-and-a-half outlaws really couldn't be that big of a sensation. ]

[dirtyblade]

[ Yes, yes, and you're missed very much, Athos. Rochefort, however, is feeling very secure in the rank set aside for him in the much more profitable future-- a future that your particular purpose has eluded. ]

God in Heaven. I've offended you.

[ His reply is dry rather than incredulous. It's the vague hint of annoyance that's the real thrill, like first blood. ]

[thestormcomes]

Try not to revel in it too much.

[Or he'll stab you.

Repeatedly.]

[all_for_me]

Ah monsieur, you do have a certain style about you. And this, [he takes a finger to swipe it across his own eye-patch as he nods to the others] has not caused you overmuch difficulty on the dueling field?