Muse vents.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

If you hate me so much, you are perfectly free to stop playing me, you know.

...What do you mean, you only hate me because you love me? Not for the first time, I question whether you are entirely right in the head. Though of course I doubt you can be, given all the torture you've put me through without even the slightest hint of remorse. No less than two demonic possessions, I ask you! Honestly, it's as though you enjoy terrible things happening to me.

I saw the look on your face just now, mundane.

And do get me some better company in here. If I have to listen to that pink-clad girl prattling on about shopping one more time, I think I am going to go quite mad.

Oh, and do your bloody tags.

Comments

[keepcalmandflutteron]

Boy do I not envy your Life. Ha!

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ ...Is. Is that. ]

If you are, as you appear to be, a talking butterfly, I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

[ He's been a lot of weird things in the past, but a butterfly is not among them, and he'd prefer to keep it that way. ]

[keepcalmandflutteron]

Why? It's not as bad as it sounds! A lot of people think you're pretty and the sweet water is just an open flower away!

[whitehairedprettyboy]

I'm hardly a stranger to the former. [ So modest. ]

As to why, I believe you'll find that butterflies are very poorly equipped to handle money. Besides, it must be dreadfully boring, mustn't it?

[keepcalmandflutteron]

Not at all! To both counts! What makes you think that it would be?

[whitehairedprettyboy]

Well, what does one do all day, if one is a butterfly?

[ He can't believe he's having this conversation. ]

[keepcalmandflutteron]

[Valmont has hit a new low?]

Aside from the whole "eating, sleeping, flying, and avoiding being eaten thing?" I go about my day about as normal, I'd say. I go and talk to friends. Have a chat with them, see what they're up to.

I have to also say that "boring" only really happens if I'm not doing any of that. Like, just the other day there was this really creepy guy asking children to come find him.

Clearly I wasn't going to take part of any that nonsense. I may be a butterfly, but I'm not stupid!

[Unlike some subordinates Valmont had at one point...]

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Hey, if you start talking trash about his subordinates, he'll... probably agree with you, let's be real. They're awful. ]

Ah. Now the "talking to friends" bit would be where our interests diverge, it seems. [ He's too rich for friends. Or that's what he tells himself, anyway. ] And yes, there do seem to be a fair number of... strange people in this community, don't there? [ Present company included. ]

[keepcalmandflutteron]

...you were including me in that too, weren't you.

[The butterfly... is judging.]

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Somehow, he can tell. ]

Well, you're not exactly ordinary, are you?

[keepcalmandflutteron]

That doesn't make it any less mean, you know.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

Oh, I do apologize. The last thing I would ever want to be is mean, especially to a butterfly.

[ Can you just taste the sarcasm. ]

[keepcalmandflutteron]

[The butterfly is blowing you a raspberry.]

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ But... it doesn't have lips...

Then again, this raises the issue of how it can talk in the first place. Some things are perhaps best left unquestioned.

Valmont, for his part, just turns his back on the butterfly. Maybe it'll go away. ]

[keepcalmandflutteron]

So, can I ask you something?

Why is money so important to you?

[whitehairedprettyboy]

...Are you serious? Is that a serious question? [ He can't process that anyone would actually ask what was important about money. It's - it's money! ]

Well. I suppose as a butterfly you can't have much of a clue about these matters, but: money can be used to buy things. The more money you have, the more and the better things you can buy. And I, of course, deserve the most and the best of everything.

[ He says this without a trace of irony. It's impressive, really. ]

[keepcalmandflutteron]

Can it buy you friends?

And just the same way as you accuse my Life of being boring, I would say that your Life sounds pretty lonely.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

Friends? [ He scoffs. ] What in the world would I do with friends? Getting close to someone simply means giving them the opportunity to betray you. And even if they don't, the energy you spend on them could have been better spent on more important things. Like acquiring more money. I'm not lonely in the slightest.

[ I notice you're forgetting to mention the various relationships you've made in Route, V. ]

Shut it, mundane.

[keepcalmandflutteron]

[angry bounce bounce bounce]

Money, money, money. That's all you're ever say!

I got to tell you, I don't see the appeal! Money is cold and it doesn't do anyone any good! The only use it has is what it can get. But the money itself is worthless on its own!

Money won't keep you warm unless you buy firewood! Money won't get you fed unless you buy food! Money won't make your bed unless you buy the bed!

Face it, you don't want money. You want power. You want control. You want to be able to DO things. But what does that make you without it? A nobody! If people who don't have money are only good so that you can get money, then that means you think people are meaningless! That you're meaningless! Your only worth comes from what you HAVE, not who you ARE.

And it's no wonder you got possessed by a demon twice. That's just the type of thing demons wish for!

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Wow. He sure was just subjected to a diatribe by a butterfly. Valmont gapes for a second before collecting himself. ]

I don't - I don't have to stand here and take this! Not from you! [ He whirls around and tries to walk... away? Walk where? There's nothing to walk to. Bloody minimalistic community. Bloody stupid insect. None of the things it just said about him were true. They weren't. ]

And it's three times. [ He snaps over his shoulder. ] It's only that two of them were the mundane's fault. But believe me, if I could find some way to pin the third one on her too, I'd do so.

[ Technically, only one of them was actively my - ]

SHUT it!

[backwardsblack]

...I'd rather have one person to share company with than a hundred fifty, no matter how bothersome.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

One hundred and fifty? [ He winces at the thought of his headmate multiplied that many times. No thank you. ] You have my utmost sympathy - er -

[ It's about now that he notices the horns growing out of the newcomer's head. ]

Wait just a bloody second! Are you another demon?

[backwardsblack]

[Siiigh. She understands why he wouldn't like her, considering his frame of reference is Satanick, but it's not like she and Satanick get along at all.]

I'm a Devil. And you're Satanick's latest flirtation who he won't shut up about? You have my sympathy.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ He stumbles backward. ] You're in league with him?! No! No no no! Get away from me!

...What has he been saying about me, exactly?

[backwardsblack]

[She bristles at that.] Listen, Satanick caused the invasion of my world, people died, we are not in league with each other!

[Even if he hadn't been the one to invade himself, she still holds no fondness for that annoying Devil.]

And he's been saying the usual things about how cute you are and the things he'd like to do to you.