IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR-

[makingalist]

Oh, is it that time again? I do so lose track this time of year when it's hustle and bustle all over! This is really starting to become quite the tradition, isn't it? Not that I mind in the slightest, HO-HO-HO!

Well then, I'm sure there's a fair share of people around awaiting my arrival once again. I wonder if I'll finally get them to line up orderly this year...

[Uh-]

No, no, no... I know, I know, I know. Not a chance!

Comments

[toogreatforpants]

Wait a moment...

You're supposed to represent me?!

Hah! your likeness isn't exactly what I had pictured, my festive friend.

[makingalist]

Oh, no-no-no! You've quite misunderstood young man!

[Yeah, he'll call a guy from the BC era young man, what're you gonna do about it?]

Really now, now's the season to be thinking of others, not making everything about yourself.

[Though he's grinning about it. Funny stuff.]

[toogreatforpants]

BUT I AM ISKANDAR! WHAT GOOD IS A KING IF HE DOESN'T MAKE HIMSELF KNOWN AMONG THE PEOPLE?

[makingalist]

AND I AM SANTA! AND WHAT GOOD IS A SANTA IF HE CAN'T ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO BE NICE!?

[toogreatforpants]

[You win this round, Fat man.]

Hmmm...it seems we are at a standstill. Perhaps you would care to join me with a drink and perhaps tell me more tales of this Christmas thing, if you are indeed the hero who makes this happen.

[makingalist]

Oh, I can tell you of the glories of Christmases long, long ago! Of course, I am but a humble servant of the season, but I don't see why we can't have enjoy the refreshing taste of Coca Cola© all the same!

[In fact, he has a nice tall glass right here, he's offering that up.]

[madman_in_abox]

[You can't be serious. Santa?]

You're not a robot this time, are you?

[toogreatforpants]

Much obliged!

[Ahh! Coca-Cola, It may not be wine but it definitley has a refreshing taste just like the cold man said.]

And yes! I, Iskandar the Great would love to hear such tales!

[makingalist]

Hold on! I'll check!

[He pats at his big ol' belly which jiggles, as is customary, like a bowl full of jelly.]

No, I'm quite sure I'm not a robot, but you don't have to take my word for it!

[makingalist]

Ah, wonderful, wonderful. Hold on now...

[From his sack he retrieves a seat, settles down and then-

yup, he's offering up his knee.]

[madman_in_abox]

Perhaps I'm dreaming. You're not supposed to be real. Well, most people don't actually believe you're real. It's up for debate, really. [He doesn't actually know if you're real or not, Santa.]

[makingalist]

Perhaps we're all dreaming. So, maybe we should make sure it's a pleasant dream, just in case.

[Reaching into his pocket, he offers up-]

Tangerine?

[madman_in_abox]

How did you know I like those? [Did this guy know everything about him? If so, then the Doctor is a bit wary of you, dude.]

[makingalist]

[Ol' jolly chops here can't fault him for it. He's had a rough time of it these past centuries.]

I wouldn't be very good at giving presents if I didn't know what people liked, would I?

Don't worry. You can scan it any which way if you like. All things considered, I think you've the right to be a bit on edge these days...Just know this, above all things. Even if you don't believe in me, I truly, truly from the depths of my heart, believe in you. And that it'll all be alright in the end.

[thebiographer]

[Because Paige needs happy times, dammit. Having your boyfriend spend two months in prison before you even get to your second date and then having to go to a funeral wears on a girl.]

...oh my god I must finally be seeing things.

[huffnpuffs]

[ Ah... Yeah, it is about that time of year, isn't it? ]

Don't tell me you're losing your touch with old age?

[makingalist]

[Hey, a dude he has a working relationship with. You can have a look at the list after a chat, Big B.]

Ho-ho-ho! Us old dogs still have some life in us yet, Bigby!

[makingalist]

I should hope so! Even I can't cure blindness.

[Dad jokes. Santa makes them.]

[thebiographer]

[Facepalm.]

You're not actually Santa...are you? Or like the Robot Santa from Futurama.

[makingalist]

I'm as much myself as you are yourself, my dear. And I hope not like... that chap at all, no no no, he needs to meet the business end of a Programming for Dummies if you ask me...

[huffnpuffs]

[ A little grunt at that, probably a laugh of some sort, as he lights up a cigarette. ]

Not many people I appreciate being called a dog by, you know.

[makingalist]

And why not? Loyal, hard working, determined, intelligent... Can't imagine why everyone is so down on dogs.

Besides, I'm sure all the hip young kids call one another dogs so I'm certain it's a good thing these days.

[There's that twinkle in his eyes like 'this is probably a joke but you'll never know for sure.']

[huffnpuffs]

Blindly obedient, easily tamed, it's not all sunshine and rainbows being a hound.

[ To be fair it sounds like "lapdog" is the phrase he really has issue with... And don't get him started on the B-word. ]

Well you know me, Santa - I've always been a little behind on what's "happening" with kids these days. Figure I may as well not even try making sense of it anymore.

[ Complete with air quotes - if nothing else he's self aware enough to know that no one says "happening" in that context anymore. ]

[thebiographer]

Well good, because it's been a heck of a year and a homicidal Santa would totally not help that.

[teddymitten]

[ ...Teddy wordlessly gets on his lap. Santa! ]