reserved at adstringendum :D

[lateforthewar]

--You DO care!!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you! I mean I'm not really down with the whole "space-time collapsing and flipping the fuck out" thing but hey! You let me out of the 'space into a place that totally needs a hero!

A hero like me. That goes without saying but I said it anyway, just in case.

I checked off the list of stuff you need to get me! What's that? You didn't know about the list?! I only told you like a million times. Let's see... You got me the layout, the badass profile--love the pic by the way--more icons, and now you just have to get me into the game! Normally I'm not into leavin' stuff to other people but hey, you're at the keyboard and I say it's in capable hands! LITERALLY!

This is gonna be so cool, I--

Wait, did you say England's gonna be there?







[ALL OF HIS EXCITEMENT DEFLATES IMMEDIATELY.]

Great, nothing worse than the Fun-Sucker to rain on the parade. Except a Commie.

[. . .]

Okay, so I thought it over? And rain's not so bad.

Comments

[english_dignity]

So glad to hear I'm appreciated.

[Flat tone is flat.]

[lateforthewar]

HAHA YEAH! --Oh hey it's you.

It's okay England! Every hero needs a sidekick or another sort of hero who's next to the main hero on the poster to make the hero look cooler because he's part of a team.

[heavens_chef]

Of course it will be fabulous, mon ami, because I will be there.

[Have a playful wink, America~]

I'll get the city cleaned up and fun in no time.

[english_dignity]

Just who are you calling a sidekick, you damn brat?!

[lateforthewar]

Oh hey France!

Gee I dunno. Your kinda fun ain't so clean, man. Will there be dog shit all over the sidewalks like in Paris? 'Cause dude. Dude.

[lateforthewar]

Didn't you hear me? You. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing! It means you always got my back just like I got yours. [It would be sweet if it wasn't so ... insulting. Typical though.]

[heavens_chef]

[One-eighty degree shift in mood. Fighting words, America, fighting words.]

Say that again.

[lateforthewar]

There's dog shit all over the streets in Paris.

Man it's not that hard to clean up, okay? But I don't wanna tiptoe through those tulips every time I come visit you!

[heavens_chef]

You're clearly not seeing the real Paris. Let me fix this.

[lateforthewar]

Nah, nah it was totally Paris. I remember 'cause like, I got dog crap on my shoe and I was upset and someone swore at me! And I could smell baguettes. [Making the baguette thing up, but now he's in the mood for baguettes and brioche.]

It's cool man, cities get nasty, but keep that in mind?! Like, please?! See I'm even saying please!!

[english_dignity]

It means the supporting character who gets kidnapped a lot. Think again!

[lateforthewar]

What about the supporting character who doesn't get kidnapped a lot? Or like, if you get kidnapped it was totally the plan all along and you do some awesome James Bond stuff.

And then I come in and finish off the bad guy!

[english_dignity]

[Rubs the bridge of his nose with a grumble.]

Funny you should mention him, considering the character is English.

[lateforthewar]

Yeah exactly! Duh, England, keep up with the pace here!

[CLAPS HIM ON THE BACK]

[english_dignity]

[Grimaces.]

Considering most of the American characters in that are the side characters, wouldn't that make you the sidekick?

[lateforthewar]

NOPE! Because I'm America. I'm the hero, the quintessential badass, numero uno, grandmaster of good guys. We could totally make a movie where I'm the loose cannon cop and you're my snarky British partner with a chip on his shoulder. It'll be a hit!

[english_dignity]

I do not have a chip on my shoulder!

[lateforthewar]

Yeah you do! You yell at me and nag me and get angry at like, everything ever. In this case it's a good thing! Quirky partner dynamics are a huge box office hit. You got a temper but you're also comic relief and we fight but then when it comes down to the wire, we make the best team in the whole police department.

[America tried to pay him a compliment. He really did.]

[english_dignity]

Comic relief?!

[Grabs that stupid cowlick to pull Alfred down to his level, glaring at him]

I dare you to say that again.

[lateforthewar]

[America WHINES LOUDLY and grunts, flailing his arms uselessly.] N-nooo!! Don't do that! Get your nasty British hands off Nantucket! What's wrong with you being the comic relief?! It means you're supposed to be funny!

Englaaaaaand.

[english_dignity]

It's not funny when you're the joke!

[Gives it another tug.]

[lateforthewar]

[He shudders and suddenly, suspiciously tries to cross his legs.] Let it go let it go let it go!! You don't wanna pull on it! Bad stuff happens when you do! You don't have to be comic relief, okay? You can just be the snarky British cop!

[english_dignity]

Glad I got that through your head.

[Since he's such a nice guy, Arthur finally lets Nantucket go.]

[lateforthewar]

[America skitters away awkwardly and fixes his hair, one leg still crossed over the other--so it's more like an awkward waddle, like he has to pee.]

You're a dick! Next time you touch my hair I'm gonna punch you!!

[No, he won't, but he'd be tempted.]

[english_dignity]

It's just hair, Alfred.

[Oblivious former father figure is oblivious.]

Really Alfred, if you need to go to the john just go find one. You're old enough not to need your hand held on the way.