Trying to drag this muse out of his dorm room

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Hey, man.  I appreciate your efforts to spread the word about the feminist conspiracy, I really do.  But I don't think ripping me out from behind enemy lines and dropping me into uncharted territory is going to help our cause.  I've spent years infiltrating Yamaku High - gathering intelligence, watching their movements, drawing up charts and blueprints... and I mean, the puppet show goes without saying.  I'm like Mission: Impossible up in this shit.  Deep undercover, y'know?  So you should just go wherever it is you were thinking about by yourself and send back monthly status updates.  It's the safest way.  Just make sure not to use the phone lines - those bitches from the Student Council already have this whole place wiretapped.  Good luck, soldier.  We're all counting on you.

Comments

[notbloodylikely]

Feminist. Conspiracy.

Uuuuh. That one's not spread very far.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

That's exactly what they want us to think. The truth is, this thing goes deeper than most people will ever know.

[notbloodylikely]

Or want to know.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Such is the burden I bear.

[notbloodylikely]

And why?

[drinkswithminors]

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

[OH SHIT IT'S THAT MAFIA GUY]

What? Who was saying something? Definitely not me!

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Because I'm the only sane man left in an insane world. These eyes have seen horrors no man should ever have to see.

[drinkswithminors]

Well I'm glad we're in agreement, then!

[notbloodylikely]

...And yet you come across as very insane.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Yeah man, everything's cool. I don't want to start any trouble or anything.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Well if you'd just let me show you the charts and puppets, you'd understand.

[notbloodylikely]

...Is either of those an euphemism?

[drinkswithminors]

You look like you could use a drink.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Euphemism? No. What the hell would 'charts and puppets' even be a euphemism for anyway? It doesn't make sense.

[notbloodylikely]

I don't bloody well know, do I? I have no idea what you're talking about so it could be anything!

1/2

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

[Kenji freezes in place. Oh god. Oh god. What does he do? If he refuses the drink, he's disrespecting a mafioso, and god only knows what kind of firepower this guy is carrying. But if he accepts, then he owes him something. He knows how this shit goes. Weeks later, you've forgotten about it completely, but then the Don calls in the favor and suddenly you have to whack a guy.

Damn it, Kenji, you were careless. You should never have even left your room today.]

2/2

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

...Uh, yeah, that's cool. I've got some good twelve year old scotch back in my room. You wanna try some? I'll go and get it.

[Yeah, yeah, this way they'll owe you something.]

[tsuntails]

You do know you just blew your cover right there.

[... totally stating the obvious, Nagi is.]

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

What? Who the hell are you? How did you intercept this communication?

[tsuntails]

Sanzenin Nagi.

[She won't mention that she was the former heir of the Sanzenin family.]

And isn't that obvious? You didn't put up a good enough filter, stupid. Everyone could see this.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

Geez. It's come this far, then? This was supposed to be a private communication to that jerk sitting behind the keyboard. I guess I'm going to have to start sending messages via carrier pigeon or something.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

I already told you, man - the feminist conspiracy. It's going on every hour of every day in every town!

[tsuntails]

Guess that so-called jerk behind the keyboard doesn't like you very much.

[... HA HA]

That's too bad for you. And just so you know, carrier pigeons can get intercepted pretty easily. Even I know that.

[bitchesdontknowthatiknow]

I've already thought of that. What do you think I am, some kind of amateur?