Stiles Stilinski (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
always_right) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2014-02-10 11:08 pm
always_right) wrote in dear_mun2014-02-10 11:08 pm
Entry tags:
SPOILERS FOR 2/10/14 S3b Ep 18 Riddled
Soooo, I think you should just stop. Stop watching my life deteriorate right now, because then I can pretend it's not happening. You can totally just stop and do that hand wavey thing where you just pick a shitty point in my life to take me from. You don't need to keep watching me go down this road.
I'm so terrified. Gerard was nothing compared to this. Hyper vigilance--I didn't know what I was talking about. Hell, I wish he was still beating my face. That's so much easier than this. I don't know--I think I'm losing.
I think I've lost. I don't want you to see that. I don't want you to perpetuate my life from the point where I can no longer protect my father. My brain is-- Leave my dad his pride. Don't watch him watch me go the same way my mom did---And don't watch me hurt them.
My shadow--this thing I've become is winning.
Please don't watch this.
I'm so terrified. Gerard was nothing compared to this. Hyper vigilance--I didn't know what I was talking about. Hell, I wish he was still beating my face. That's so much easier than this. I don't know--I think I'm losing.
I think I've lost. I don't want you to see that. I don't want you to perpetuate my life from the point where I can no longer protect my father. My brain is-- Leave my dad his pride. Don't watch him watch me go the same way my mom did---And don't watch me hurt them.
My shadow--this thing I've become is winning.
Please don't watch this.