-no subject-

[romatomato]

..This idiot wants me to make more friends and I'm not doing too good at doing that at the other place I'm at right now. I don't need friends, I'm fine. I...ugh. 

God damn you..Mun, fucking fuck whatever the hell you think I should call you. It's just here right? I like 'idiot' or 'you' better, tch. You...fuck it all,

...Don't look at me like that, I'm guessing you want me to talk about him. Well..I don't wanna, I'm wondering if it's better if I just forget about it or don't think about it and just...I dunno, start fresh. I guess I gotta anyway, right? I just don't know how, or how to even talk to people anymore...it's not that I want to it's just...-he trails off and just shrugs- Guess it's my own damn fault for locking myself away for so long, huh? I'm not blaming you stupid, even though you think it's partly your fault.

Comments

[english_dignity]

Eloquent as always.

You seem to be missing your Spaniard.

[romatomato]

...-he turns red, because he knows England is right-

You're making fun, I can tell and so what if I am? I...it's not like I need him, I don't need anyone. I'm fine.
-but his fists clench up since he knows it's not true-

[sleepygunsman]

.......You're talking to someone now. So you can't be that far off....

[romatomato]

Uh..yeah, guess you got a point.

Just before whenever I tried it never worked out, maybe something's finally turning out ok for once, or at least for the first time in a long time.

[luckandpluck]

... you know holding it in's not going to help. I thought you'd know that by now.

[romatomato]

....

I..I know that, dammit. I know that, but what the fuck do you want me to do, just spill everything? Say everything I've been fucking holding back while pretending I'm ok?

[luckandpluck]

You don't have to pretend-- it's kind of obvious that you're not, to begin with.

Just spill it out, I guess. That's the purpose of this place, anyway.

[romatomato]

Ugh, well then I sure as hell did a shit job.

I'm tired, I'm just tired, it's been a long long time and nothing turned out ok for me. I managed to fucking lose the most important person ever to me and I constantly gotta pretend I'm alright.

I've already accepted he's not gonna come back, at least not that version of him.

I guess I'm just trying to start over now and try and live. He'd be happy with that I think...but, I'm tired of being alone too.

[english_dignity]

I'm sure he's looking for you.

[Really Romano, you made it far too easy for him to tease.]

Should get a collar, with the way you run off.

[romatomato]

Well first I gotta find him, wherever he is.

-and now he's just terribly embarrassed and flustered-

T-that's not funny! I'm not some dumb cat or dog or whatever dammit. You better not be saying I am either.

[english_dignity]

[Reaching to pat his head.]

Of course not. Though we could find a ship to dangle you off of. It worked rather well in the old days, didn't it?

[romatomato]

...

Don't do that shit, and no. I don't like that idea, it's a shitty idea.

If you do I...I'll do something you won't like, so there!

Please excuse the temporary journal swap

[forcrownandplunder]

You have to admit, it always brought him running.

Re: Please excuse the temporary journal swap

[romatomato]

...Eh, yeah you got a point. He's always been...stupid like that. Ugh

-he's not saying it out-loud but it makes him feel a little special-

(Sure thing, it's alright!)

[english_dignity]

[You don't need to, Romano. Arthur already knows, and finds it adorable. And he can understand why, having done some parenting himself.]

Duty of an older brother.

[romatomato]

Well..I still say he doesn't gotta do that shit, but if he does it's not like I'm gonna stop him.

If I do he'll probably, I dunno..do something even more stupid.

[english_dignity]

And I thought Francis came up with stupid ideas.

[romatomato]

Both of 'em do, I'll admit France is the one who gets stupider ones.

For a minute there I almost thought you were talking about me, I'm not stupid though. I'm not.

[english_dignity]

[Was. Rubs the bridge of his nose. Should just curse him back to childhood, throw him to Spain, and leave them to it.]

Francis' ideas only come in second to Alfred's.

[romatomato]

-he still doesn't get it, he's a bit slow sometimes-
..What? It better be thinking of Francis that makes you look frustrated or whatever like that.

I still say Antonio could give both of 'em a run for their money.

[english_dignity]

He did think he could compete with the British Royal Navy.

[And her pirates.]

[romatomato]

If you think I'm gonna praise you, well I won't, so tough luck.

Even if he is stupid I..guess I'm still maybe gonna side with him. Only maybe.

[english_dignity]

[Snorts.]

I'm not delusional. Praising people is not in your list of skills.

[romatomato]

Then good for both of us you're not, and damn right it's not....plus I don't wanna anyway.

I'm so glad you're not expecting something that ain't gonna come. Makes life a hell lot easier for both of us.