Jimmy Novak (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frompontiac) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2012-03-09 05:57 pm
frompontiac) wrote in dear_mun2012-03-09 05:57 pm
Entry tags:
jimmy novak
Look, just-- would you let me go home?
Why not? What's so wrong or difficult or whatever about it?!
[ she makes a helpless shrug of her shoulders ]
As far as I can tell, they only make their own lives more difficult with their fascinations. It's a sadistic kind of pleasure, playing at being tiny gods. [ there's a hint of bitterness in her voice, but mostly she is quietly resigned ]
As far as I can tell, they only make their own lives more difficult with their fascinations. It's a sadistic kind of pleasure, playing at being tiny gods. [ there's a hint of bitterness in her voice, but mostly she is quietly resigned ]
Hey, man. Listen- I'm... I'm sorry, dude, but I don't think that's in the cards.
Huh? Dean? What are you... what are you talking about? This isn't one of those bridges again, is it?
I really don't know, man, but... Seriously, the last time I saw your face, it wasn't pretty. I mean, the situation. Objectively, your face was fine, I guess.
What--okay, wait, what exactly is 'not pretty' for you? Because-- what happened?
I- Shit, it's a really long story, man. Like... Lord of the Rings long. Like Titanic long. What's the last thing you remember?
Castiel... He went back into... into me--
Probably, uh, probably a long shot but... do you know if they're alright? My- My family.
Probably, uh, probably a long shot but... do you know if they're alright? My- My family.
[Shit. Of course Jimmy'd ask. He sighs, passes a hand over his face.]
No, man, honestly, I don't know. The world's gone straight to hell. Straight to purgatory, if you wanna be specific. I haven't exactly been keeping tabs.
No, man, honestly, I don't know. The world's gone straight to hell. Straight to purgatory, if you wanna be specific. I haven't exactly been keeping tabs.
Figures. [Glances around, unsure of where to look, before settling for the ground.]
Well, it's not like I was expecting any different.
[He looks back up.]
Wait a second, purgatory?!
Well, it's not like I was expecting any different.
[He looks back up.]
Wait a second, purgatory?!
[He rolled his eyes a little, more wary than anything. Yeah, you heard him.]
Purgatory. Pissed off, 'roided up natives. Frankly, Jimmy, you're from the good old days when we used to hunt demons.
[Seriously, he'd give his left kidney to just go back to demons. Hell, give him a freaking Windigo.]
Your body was shredded, man, eaten from the inside out by Leviathans. While Cas was in there. He didn't... he's gone. Angel dust.
Purgatory. Pissed off, 'roided up natives. Frankly, Jimmy, you're from the good old days when we used to hunt demons.
[Seriously, he'd give his left kidney to just go back to demons. Hell, give him a freaking Windigo.]
Your body was shredded, man, eaten from the inside out by Leviathans. While Cas was in there. He didn't... he's gone. Angel dust.
[He remembers the demons. Kind of hard to forget that stuff, really. But he's about to start saying something, ask a question, he doesn't even know. But he stops, because it's like nothing's working up there. Lights are on. No one's home. He's torn between wanting to run around in a panic and sit down for a very very long time.]
Oh.
[Beat. He sways a little.]
Shit.
[That about says it all.]
Oh.
[Beat. He sways a little.]
Shit.
[That about says it all.]
[Shit- he really should put a little bit of a filter on or something. Jimmy was still so down-to-earth even after years of being dragged through this crazy shit. Giving the guy a heart attack probably wasn't the best way to go about his re-initiation into life.
He dropped his head for a second, eyes on the floor.]
Yeah.
[A quiet second, and then he's plowing right along.]
So, listen- the world isn't exactly the safest place right now. I'm not saying you can't go back, just that you might wanna stick around a while. There's... frankly, there's an assload of people who have it out for that face. Cas was... kinda responsible for that whole Purgatory thing. Did a lot of underhanded dealing to do it, too.
He dropped his head for a second, eyes on the floor.]
Yeah.
[A quiet second, and then he's plowing right along.]
So, listen- the world isn't exactly the safest place right now. I'm not saying you can't go back, just that you might wanna stick around a while. There's... frankly, there's an assload of people who have it out for that face. Cas was... kinda responsible for that whole Purgatory thing. Did a lot of underhanded dealing to do it, too.
[He's thinking a lot of things. Most of it's a bit of a jumble, and to be honest, he's not even remotely trying to make sense of it. But the one that sticks out is this probably awful feeling that he's almost glad it's him. Him and his face and being dead and in pieces and Castiel gone -- How do you even kill an Angel, anyway?-- because that means... well, that means it wasn't Claire.]
Can I just-- can I go home? If everything's this bad I have to know if they're alright. If anyone's after me because of -- because of what he did.
Can I just-- can I go home? If everything's this bad I have to know if they're alright. If anyone's after me because of -- because of what he did.
[Dean flops down into one of the chairs, buries his face in his hands a second, then scrubs them across his forehead. This is... damn, this is hard, because he's the last one in the world that should be telling someone they can't see their family.]
Thing is, Jimmy, it's not just you I'm worried about. Those things track you down, you're giving 'em a one way ticket to your woman and daughter, too.
[He let his hands hit the table and looked up tiredly.]
I know, man. I know what it's like. I... since you've been gone, there's... well, her name's Lisa. And her son, Ben, and I...
[He shook his head.]
Thing is, Jimmy, it's not just you I'm worried about. Those things track you down, you're giving 'em a one way ticket to your woman and daughter, too.
[He let his hands hit the table and looked up tiredly.]
I know, man. I know what it's like. I... since you've been gone, there's... well, her name's Lisa. And her son, Ben, and I...
[He shook his head.]
[Now he slumps. Into one of those chairs. Maybe. He doesn't much care. Maybe he should have known. Or guessed. But he still wanted that belief that he could go home. See them again. Bit more than that, he wants them safe. And he knows now that... Maybe safe doesn't involve him.]
What am I supposed to do? If I can't go... If it's not safe. I can't just....
[He stops mid thought. More like trails off. Almost smiles. Finally something familiar.]
And you'd do... Anything for them. Right?
[Another pause.]
What're they like?
What am I supposed to do? If I can't go... If it's not safe. I can't just....
[He stops mid thought. More like trails off. Almost smiles. Finally something familiar.]
And you'd do... Anything for them. Right?
[Another pause.]
What're they like?
[Dean likes to live with the hope that this is only temporary. That maybe they'll do enough hunting, maybe they'll get rid of the leviathans and Crowley, and they'll have enough time to figure out whether or not Jimmy's being hunted, and they'll be able to return him to his family, and they can be together again. Happy.
Okay, that's half true. The other part of him hopes that if he keeps Jimmy around long enough, Cas will come back. He'd be happy with either alternative, but he... well, he really misses his best friend.]
Yeah. Anything.
[Including make them forget him. He hasn't really talked about them in months, doesn't want to, but the look on Jimmy's face... his eyes drop to the table, and a smile tugs at his lips. Tiny and sad.]
Ben's... He's like me. I'm talking sandwich eating AC/DC jamming ladies' man. Brave. Really protective of his mom. And Lisa... she's strong. I mean, the woman can be downright terrifying.
[He snorts a laugh. He'd almost be more worried about the demon that tried to attack her. Except... well, not really. A moment of silence passed, and then he admitted quietly:]
I had to make them forget me. They're... better off.
Okay, that's half true. The other part of him hopes that if he keeps Jimmy around long enough, Cas will come back. He'd be happy with either alternative, but he... well, he really misses his best friend.]
Yeah. Anything.
[Including make them forget him. He hasn't really talked about them in months, doesn't want to, but the look on Jimmy's face... his eyes drop to the table, and a smile tugs at his lips. Tiny and sad.]
Ben's... He's like me. I'm talking sandwich eating AC/DC jamming ladies' man. Brave. Really protective of his mom. And Lisa... she's strong. I mean, the woman can be downright terrifying.
[He snorts a laugh. He'd almost be more worried about the demon that tried to attack her. Except... well, not really. A moment of silence passed, and then he admitted quietly:]
I had to make them forget me. They're... better off.
also you are awesome and you can friend me on plurk @likeabox if you want
frompontiac
2012-03-11 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
[He smiles a bit. Just a little. He likes clinging to these reminders that there's a life out there, something he can have back, something in common.]
If I ever fell asleep in front of the tv, you know...before? Amelia'd wake me up....
[He can't have that kind of life. But here he is, sucked into it anyway, like a hand into boiling water. Unlike last time, it leaves scald marks everywhere. He's not a comet. He can't stop himself from freezing up, from looking striken.]
Oh. Oh god. I'm...I'm so sorry.
If I ever fell asleep in front of the tv, you know...before? Amelia'd wake me up....
[He can't have that kind of life. But here he is, sucked into it anyway, like a hand into boiling water. Unlike last time, it leaves scald marks everywhere. He's not a comet. He can't stop himself from freezing up, from looking striken.]
Oh. Oh god. I'm...I'm so sorry.
[He takes a second to shoot Jimmy a small, understanding smile. Dean was, by nature, a family man. He was raised otherwise, though, so that brief glimpse at being a dad... at being the man of the house, of domestic... it was wonderful, but it was exactly that: brief.]
I used to fall asleep on the couch all the damn time. Lisa kept this couch blanket... I'd wake up and she'd have covered-...
[Damn, this was harder than he thought. That smile slipped off into something pained, fell away and he sighed. It was... so damn weird seeing expressions on that face. Jimmy was just... so unCastiel, he didn't have much trouble separating the two in his mind. Didn't mean it sucked any less.]
Yeah, well. I'm sorry, too. Just wanted you to know- I get it. I'm not a heartless dick, I'm not trying to bogard your family, just... when Ben and Lisa got attacked, I'd rather them have chopped me into little bits than be the reason they were hurt. Figured you probably learned that lesson way before me.
I used to fall asleep on the couch all the damn time. Lisa kept this couch blanket... I'd wake up and she'd have covered-...
[Damn, this was harder than he thought. That smile slipped off into something pained, fell away and he sighed. It was... so damn weird seeing expressions on that face. Jimmy was just... so unCastiel, he didn't have much trouble separating the two in his mind. Didn't mean it sucked any less.]
Yeah, well. I'm sorry, too. Just wanted you to know- I get it. I'm not a heartless dick, I'm not trying to bogard your family, just... when Ben and Lisa got attacked, I'd rather them have chopped me into little bits than be the reason they were hurt. Figured you probably learned that lesson way before me.
[When he had them, all together. When it was simple and easy. When he could say grace at dinner and mean it. Maybe part of what gives it value is the knowledge that it can't be that way anymore. Causes all the memories to crystalize. Sometimes, they form jagged corners. But most of the time? Most of the time, they shine.
So he doesn't say much. Doesn't finish the thought about couch blankets for Dean. Because those are the fragments that matter. And maybe, maybe if they're lucky, they could be fitted back together again, anyhow.]
No, I know.
[Sigh. He scrubs at his eyes a bit, and looks away, because he remembers why he's even here right now, why he even matters, because otherwise-- otherwise it'd be unacceptable.]
I know how that lesson goes. And... if it meant they were safe? Not just-- not just a promise that they are but actually-- actually safe? I'd give...I'd do anything. Even if that means....
[Him not being in the picture.]
Not seeing them.
So he doesn't say much. Doesn't finish the thought about couch blankets for Dean. Because those are the fragments that matter. And maybe, maybe if they're lucky, they could be fitted back together again, anyhow.]
No, I know.
[Sigh. He scrubs at his eyes a bit, and looks away, because he remembers why he's even here right now, why he even matters, because otherwise-- otherwise it'd be unacceptable.]
I know how that lesson goes. And... if it meant they were safe? Not just-- not just a promise that they are but actually-- actually safe? I'd give...I'd do anything. Even if that means....
[Him not being in the picture.]
Not seeing them.
[It was different, for Dean. Thinking about the time he spent there... it doesn't make everything better. Thinking about the good times doesn't make it okay. Memories... they hurt. He had a tendency to dwell on them, drown in them, make himself miserable over what he couldn't have.
A fucking family. That's all he wanted. That's all he ever wanted. Maybe it was about damn time he got over it.]
Listen- it's not gonna be forever, okay? Just until... just until we figure something out.
[Or Cas comes back. He shoves that thought way down, though. Damn, he feels guilty about that, he can't even put it into words.]
I can talk to some people. See if we can't get some surveillance going, keep an eye on 'em just in case. In the meantime...
[What's a delicate way to combine you're more than welcome to stay with us and you kind of don't have a choice, you're staying with us for your own good without making him feel like a prisoner? He can't really think of one, so he trails off.]
Beer?
A fucking family. That's all he wanted. That's all he ever wanted. Maybe it was about damn time he got over it.]
Listen- it's not gonna be forever, okay? Just until... just until we figure something out.
[Or Cas comes back. He shoves that thought way down, though. Damn, he feels guilty about that, he can't even put it into words.]
I can talk to some people. See if we can't get some surveillance going, keep an eye on 'em just in case. In the meantime...
[What's a delicate way to combine you're more than welcome to stay with us and you kind of don't have a choice, you're staying with us for your own good without making him feel like a prisoner? He can't really think of one, so he trails off.]
Beer?
[Not going to be forever. He hears that a lot. Or, the worse option, that it will be. And maybe part of him is glad Castiel died before a hundred years passed and he'd wake up and everyone he knew, everyone he loved was gone. But he keeps that to himself, down below the confusion and worry and hurt and panic and unnamed thoughts that flit about from here to there.
He looks lost for a second, misses part of what Dean says in the rush of it. But he hears the word surveillance and looks a bit relieved. Sits a little less slumped in the chair. Not quite smiling, not yet, but at least that's better than nothing.]
Yeah, sure. I could use... way more than a few.
He looks lost for a second, misses part of what Dean says in the rush of it. But he hears the word surveillance and looks a bit relieved. Sits a little less slumped in the chair. Not quite smiling, not yet, but at least that's better than nothing.]
Yeah, sure. I could use... way more than a few.
[He lets out a snort, shoves up from the chair and heads for the kitchenette.]
Trust me, I feel you there, brother.
[Another thing him and Jimmy could agree on. He tugs two out of the fridge, passes one over, and leans his hips against the table while he pops his open. Jimmy was a little easier to get on with this time around- maybe because Dean's got a little perspective, and because Jimmy already knows the scoop. Isn't in a hurry to escape.
Or maybe just because they both know life's freaking hopeless now, and they just have to keep trudging on. Little easier to trudge on when you're on the same page.]
We're gonna have to teach you a few things. No offense, but I'll feel a little more comfortable packing you around if you know how to shoot and how to set a devil's trap.
Trust me, I feel you there, brother.
[Another thing him and Jimmy could agree on. He tugs two out of the fridge, passes one over, and leans his hips against the table while he pops his open. Jimmy was a little easier to get on with this time around- maybe because Dean's got a little perspective, and because Jimmy already knows the scoop. Isn't in a hurry to escape.
Or maybe just because they both know life's freaking hopeless now, and they just have to keep trudging on. Little easier to trudge on when you're on the same page.]
We're gonna have to teach you a few things. No offense, but I'll feel a little more comfortable packing you around if you know how to shoot and how to set a devil's trap.
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