On looking for games for him

[beets]

You think you're so smart. Please. Do you really think I'm ill-prepared? Unlike half of the whining nobodies lurking around here, I've been ready for every situation you've described to me since the day I emerged out of the womb. Nothing you throw at me will be able to phase me.

That one about the box - I think it's called The Box. I have master knowledge of many different types of boxes, including cardboard, wood and most importantly: Pandora's Box. The one where people wake up and bend reality, I'm very nearly a god already. Hunger Games one? Don't make me laugh, I am practically Katniss Everdeen herself. If you're trying to scare me, scoop up some better ideas. Get to work.

Comments

[robotrizzo]

Stick 'im with the ponies!

[beets]

Awful idea. Placing me with horses would lead to a reliable food source. I wish to be challenged.

Are you some sort of giant robot or is that just a very intricate costume?

[robotrizzo]

You'd be a pony too Specs.

And yes to robot, no to giant. I'm five feet tall.

[beets]

I would make an excellent horse. A cannibalistic one, mind you, but this could also be considered a good thing. If my food supply were dwindling I could always sever my own legs and replace them with wheels. That creates a sizable amount of horse meat to dine upon.

Hm. Fairly giant in comparison sorry excuses for "robots" in Scranton. You're about C-3PO level. Who made you? Was it Skynet?

[robotrizzo]

Horses can't eat meat slag-fer-brains. I'm from anotha planet and even I know that.

And what in the Pit is Skynet?

[beets]

I would make a strong horse, whose digestive system is able to process the meat of the younger weaker horses.

You'd want me to explain that, Arnie.

[robotrizzo]

Pretty sure it doesn't work that way Captain Crazypants.

And the name's Rattrap.

idek but i can't resist

[beermestrength]

If you're very nearly a god and you're also practically Katniss Everdeen... Does that mean the actual Katniss Everdeen is a god? I guess that explains how she won the games. Kind of seems like cheating, though.

you're perfect.

[beets]

What? No. Katniss Everdeen wasn't a god. She was a rebellious spirit who crushed the tyrannical President Snow by becoming a symbol of rebellion. Then she and Peeta get married and fall in love and have war-babies. Certainly I embody the spirit of Katniss but she is no god.

[beets]

Psssh. What kind of name for a robot is Rattrap?

[robotrizzo]

I turn into a giant rat and I'm good at settin' traps. What d'ya want from me?

[beets]

Why would a giant rat set traps? Last I checked, rats are vulnerable to traps.

[robotrizzo]

I ain't an actual rat, numbskull. Most rats ain't really in the habit of carryin' around fusion rifles.

[beets]

...What year is this? I feel like all of my Doomsday predictions are coming true.

[robotrizzo]

Yeah, well, they ain't. The world isn't endin' Specs.

[eroding]

Boxes don't seem like they would fall within the realm of gods. Does it really take that much to master them?